


Out of Time

by fangirlfiction



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Multi, Smut, through time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-07-27 09:16:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 46,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16216043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangirlfiction/pseuds/fangirlfiction
Summary: Time, noun. The indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future. A progression through time, starting in 1933 and into the present day. Features reader as a WWII nurse, the Howling Commandos, the Avengers, Hydra, fluff, angst, smut, you name it, it’s got it!





	1. introductions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time, noun. The indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future. A progression through time, starting in 1933 and into the present day. Features reader as a WWII nurse, the Howling Commandos, the Avengers, Hydra, fluff, angst, smut, you name it, it’s got it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This series is my baby, y’all. I have never loved anything more. I am so excited for you guys to read it, because I’ve been writing and researching for A G E S! Leave me comments and let me know what you think!

A chorus of yelling from across the school yard causes you to look up, eyes searching for the interruption. You close your book and push it to the side when you see a skinny teen standing across from Henry, the school bully, both of their fists raised. You watch in horror as the skinny boy swings at Henry, missing entirely, before Henry lands a punch on the boy's nose. The gathering crowd cheers as he immediately starts bleeding, and you stand from your spot on the bench, eyes still trained on the skinny boy. He swings again and lands a punch, but it lacks the power to affect Henry, and only earns him a black eye. You move towards the fighting pair as fast as your legs will carry you, before firmly planting yourself between the boy and Henry. Henry glares at you. “Move.”

You glare back, chin raised slightly in defiance. “No.”

His fists are still raised and he shifts closer to you. “Move!”

You put your hands on your hips. “What're ya gonna do, Henry? Hit a girl?”

Over his shoulder, you spot a dark haired teen striding across the school yard, eyes laser focused on Henry's back. He reaches him in seconds and yanks him back by the collar, tossing him to the ground. “Yeah Henry, you gonna hit a lady?”

Henry scrambles to his feet, still glaring, but you notice it falter for half a second. He spits at the dark haired boy’s feet. “Stay out of this, Barnes, it's not about you.”

He shrugs. “Any issue you've got with Steve is an issue with me.”

Henry seems to consider his options before shaking his head. “Forget it. Tell Rogers to mind his business.”

Henry turns and walks away, and you immediately spin towards the skinny teen, concern written all over your face. “Are you okay?”

He smiles up at you, shy, and nods. “I'm alright, ma'am.”

You laugh at the formality and introduce yourself before asking, “And you are?”

He extends a hand towards you. “Steve Rogers.” He gestures at the dark haired boy that was watching your interaction quietly. “And that's Bucky Barnes, my best friend.” 

You smile at them both. “That was quite the punch you took, Steve Rogers.”

Steve shrugs. “I've had worse.”

Bucky laughs from beside you and your turn and question, “Does this happen often?”

Bucky nods. “At least once a week. Usually more.” He turns to Steve. “We better get you cleaned up before we get home, your ma will kill us both if I bring you home covered in blood again.” 

Steve glances down at the blood staining his shirt and nods, before turning to address you. “It was nice to meet you, ma'am.”

“You, too.” You glance over at Bucky, offering him a smile. “Both of you.” 

They both turn and walk away, already deep in conversation about the cause of the fight, leaving you to watch them go.


	2. i. come back to me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WWII has started for the U.S. after the bombing of Pearl Harbor, changing the lives of men all over the States, Sgt. James Buchanan Barnes among them. 
> 
> warnings: There’s some smut, so 18+ only please! A lil bit of angst and sadness, but also some fluffy fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> part 1 is here NOW! Honestly, I’m just too freaking excited, I’m sorry!!! Let me know what you think!!!

_December 8, 1941_

_“Mr. Vice President, Mr. Speaker, Members of the Senate, and of the House of Representatives:_

_Yesterday, December 7th, 1941—a date which will live in infamy—the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan…_ _It will be recorded that the distance of Hawaii from Japan makes it obvious that the attack was deliberately planned many days or even weeks ago. During the intervening time, the Japanese government has deliberately sought to deceive the United States by false statements and expressions of hope for continued peace…_ **_I ask that the Congress declare that since the unprovoked and dastardly attack by Japan on Sunday, December 7th, 1941, a state of war has existed between the United States and the Japanese empire._** _”_

_January 1, 1942_

You lift your head in surprise at the quiet knock on your front door, unsure of who it could be. You close your book and set it on the couch before moving to the door and pulling it open. Your eyebrows furrow in confusion and surprise at the dark haired man in front of you. “Bucky?”

You glance down at the pocket watch that once belonged to your father before looking up at him again. “I thought we weren’t meeting until 8 tonight?”

Bucky steps forward and presses a soft kiss to your lips. When he pulls away, you notice the weight on his shoulders. The heaviness in his blue eyes. “What’s wrong? What is it?”

He looks up at you, giving you a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “Can you cut my hair? Ma’s been too busy.”

You nod, whisper a soft, “Yeah.”

You grab his hand and pull him inside, leading him to the small bathroom of the apartment. He settles onto the chair you pulled in, and you grab a comb and scissors from the cabinet over the sink. You move to stand beside Bucky, deciding to cut the hair on the sides first. Pieces of hair float down between you before Bucky breaks the silence. “How’s George?”

You pull back and look down at him, giving him a smile, before continuing on the sides. “He’s good. Nearly a month into boot camp and I can already tell from his letters that he loves the Marines. I just wish my parents were around still. They would have been proud.”

Bucky hums in acknowledgement and whispers, “They’d be proud of you, too.”

You’re behind him now, so he misses the smile on your face, but you press a kiss onto the crown of his head in thanks. You finish trimming the back and move to stand in front of him, trimming the front into the style he likes. Bucky reaches forward and puts his hands on your waist, and the gesture causes you glance down at him. The look on his face has you sinking onto your knees in front of him, leaving you at eye level. You whisper softly, “Bucky. Talk to me.”

His eyes lift from the ground to meet yours. “I got drafted.”

You intake a sharp breath and whisper, “When?”

“Got the letter this afternoon. Basic starts in 4 days.” He grabs your hands and looks at you in earnest. “I know that you wanted to enlist as a nurse. To save lives, make a difference. But Steve…someone has to stay and look out for Steve.”

You nod, understanding his plea. “Have you told him?”

“Not yet.” His tone is serious when he continues, “And he can’t know that I was drafted, it’ll just fuel his drive to enlist.”

You pull your hands from his and place them on his cheeks. “I’ll stay.”

 

_April 5, 1942_

Your eyes scan the Expo Hall for Bucky and Steve, and you let out a sigh when you see them on the outskirts of the Hall, arguing about something. You catch part of their conversation as you near closer. “Bucky, c’mon. There are men laying down their lives, I got no right to do any less than them. That’s what you don’t understand. This isn’t about me.”

“Right, because you got nothing to prove.”

You watch as they stare at each other, stubborn in their own opinions. You raise your voice to be heard over the noise of the hall. “Is everything okay?”

Bucky turns to face you, a carefree smile on his face. You don’t miss the scared look in his eyes. “Of course.”

He turns back to Steve and sighs, shaking his head as he backs up towards you. “Don’t do anything stupid until I get back.”

Steve quips back, “How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.”

Bucky walks back towards Steve, pulling him into a hug as he mutters, “You’re a punk.”

You hear Steve whisper, “Jerk.” They pull away and Steve whispers, “Be careful.”

You walk to Steve and hug him, asking, “See you in the morning?”

Steve nods. You turn to Bucky and grab his hand, both of you starting to walk away. Steve yells out, “Don’t win the war til I get there.”

Bucky drops your hand and turns, giving Steve a salute, before grabbing your hand again and leading you to the door. As soon as you’re out in the cool night air, Bucky sighs. You squeeze his hand. “Let’s skip dancing. Go to my place instead.”

He glances down at you, a playful smirk on his face. “Really?”

“Yeah.”

You walk back to your apartment in silence, each lost in your own worlds. You know Bucky is thinking about Steve, worried that he’d enlist. But you were too busy thinking about Bucky, worried he’d…

Minutes later, you’re back at your apartment. The door closes with a soft click, and you turn to Bucky with a smile. Wordlessly, you drop your purse onto the floor at your feet before reaching out and grabbing his hand. You walk backwards through your apartment, leading him back to your room. Once inside, you drop his hand and push the jacket off your shoulders and onto the floor. You slip the shoes from your feet and step towards him, reaching up to grab his hat before settling it onto your head. He laughs as you give him a salute and he reaches out for you, ready to kiss you. You step out of his grasp and whisper, “Not yet, soldier.”

You step closer to him again and unbutton his jacket slowly, your eyes locked on his the entire time. You push the jacket off his shoulders and onto the floor before removing his tie and unbuttoning his shirt. His shirt, shoes, and pants join his jacket on the floor, and you guide him backwards until the back of his knees hit the bed. He lowers himself onto the bed and watches as you take a step back and unbutton your shirt and skirt, pushing them both to the floor. You prop your leg on the bed beside him, before unfastening your stockings and pushing them down your leg slowly. Bucky watches in quiet awe, eyes tracing the newly exposed skin, hands eager to touch you.

You move over and settle yourself onto his lap, one leg on either side of him, your hands resting on his cheeks. You can feel his arousal, just from watching you undress, and it sends a thrill of excitement through you. Bucky leans forward until your lips are almost touching, breath mingling together. He whispers, “Permission to kiss you?”

Your lips brush his when you reply, “Permission granted.”

Your lips crash together in a frenzy of anticipation, the haze of arousal already taking over all your senses. Your hands slide from Bucky’s face and into his shorter hair, and his slide all over your body: up and down your sides, your back, your chest. Each pass of his skin over yours leaves prickles of electricity dancing along your skin, lighting up every nerve ending in your body.

Bucky stands with you in his arms, making you squeal, before turning and laying you on the bed softly. He pulls back and hovers over you, eyes roaming over your face, your body. You hide your face in your hands and mutter, “You’re staring.”

He pulls your hands away, his eyes searching your own. “I’m memorizing you. This moment.”

He reaches up and traces a finger over your brow, down to your lips, pausing to let you playfully nip at his finger. You whisper, “Why?

He continues his path down your face and over your neck, stopping at the base of your collarbone. “To get me through the war when things get bad.”

You smile and pull him down into a kiss, dripping every ounce of love you have for him into it. The night is spent memorizing every part of each other; every freckle, every scar, every mark catalogued and stored away. The reality of it all hits you when Bucky is thrusting into you, both of you chasing your highs together for what is possibly the last time. Bucky pulls back when he feels you crying, pausing to reach up and wipe the tears from your face. “Promise me you’ll come back to me, Bucky.”

Bucky smiles at you and replies, “I’ll always come back to you. No distance or time could ever change that.”

Dizzy with arousal and high on promises, you both come screaming each other’s names.

 

_April 6, 1942_

You thread your fingers through Steve’s and Bucky’s, giving them each a wide smile. They smile back at you before continuing their conversation about Steve’s latest art project, an obvious conversational attempt meant to distract from the destination of the morning’s walk. The sign to the Brooklyn Shipyard looms ahead, and just beyond it is hundreds of soldiers saying goodbye. The three of you weave in and out of the crowd, moving closer and closer to the ship that is going to take Bucky away from Brooklyn. Away from you.

You step back as you reached the edge of the ramp to the ship, allowing Bucky and Steve to say goodbye. Finally, Bucky turns to you, a sad smile on his face. Tears instantly well up in your eyes and you throw yourself into Bucky’s outstretched arms, allowing the tears to fall. You pull away minutes later, and Bucky reaches up to wipe the tears from your face. Voice hoarse from crying, you mutter, “I have something for you. A good luck charm.”

Bucky flashes a lopsided grin, suddenly looking too young to be in uniform. You swallow back a fresh wave of tears and reach into your pocket, before dropping the heavy item into Bucky’s outstretched palm. Bucky looks down at it and realization dawns on his face. He instantly starts shaking his head. “I can’t take your pa’s pocket watch. It’s all you have left of him.”

You fold his fingers over it, nodding. “Yes, you can. Pa always said it was the reason he and ma survived the ship over here. The day he and ma died, he had given it to George. George was the only one to survive the crash. It’s good luck. It’ll keep you safe.”

Bucky nods, too choked up to say anything. The blast of the ship’s horn echoes in the harbor, signaling that it’s time to leave. Bucky pulls you in for one last kiss, he pulls away and whispers, “I love you.”

You choke back tears as he reaches down and grabs his bag. “I love you too.”

He smiles and waves goodbye to you and Steve before boarding the boat and sailing away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FDR's speech can be found here: http://time.com/4593483/pearl-harbor-franklin-roosevelt-infamy-speech-attack/


	3. ii. letters from hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Description: A series of letters from the reader to Bucky. 
> 
> Warnings: Mentions of war, death, blood, etc. It’s WWII, things are rough. Probably language in there somewhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ll have all my resources and information linked at the end, in case you want to read up on anything I mentioned here. Let me know what you think!

_Bucky,                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    April 6, 1942_

_It’s only been a few hours since you left us at the Brooklyn Shipyard, but I’m sure it will take weeks for this to find you. Steve waited to tell me until our walk home, but he joined the war. He enlisted. Someone named Dr. Erskine approved him for enlistment after we left him at the Expo Hall. I’ve been on the phone all morning trying to find him, but no one in the Army has heard of him. It hasn’t even been a full day, and I’ve already let you down._

_But Bucky, if you’re gone, and Steve is gone, and George is gone…There’s nothing left for me in Brooklyn. There’s better use of me out there, at the war front. Saving soldiers. Besides, nurses never see any action, so it’ll be okay. I can keep brave idiot-like Steve safe and come home to you at the end of it all. Write when you can._

_I love you._

_-_

_April 13, 1942_

You look down at the picture in your lap, the first one ever taken of you, Bucky, and Steve. You smile at their wide grins, remember how light their spirits were that day. It was your first day of senior year, before the weight of war and loss had burdened any of you. You envy the smiling trio in the picture, unaware of the troubles ahead of them, not yet weary from the world. A voice over your shoulder startles you. “I remember that day. Couple of months before I lost my ma. I’m not sure I’ve been that happy since.”  
You stand from the bench and spin to face Steve, letting out a small sigh of relief. “You came. I was beginning to worry that you wouldn’t.”  
Steve gives you a sad smile. “I almost didn’t. I hate goodbyes.”  
“Oh, Steve.” You step forward and pull him into a hug, turning your face towards him to whisper. “It’s not a goodbye.”  
You pull back a little to look in the eyes of your scrawny best friend. Your eyes lock with his, searching his blue eyes for some unspoken confession. And as if you are both drawn together by some unspoken force, you lean in, lips brushing each other’s once, twice, three times.  
You both pull away quickly, scrambling backwards to create distance between you, guilt weighing on you at the realization of what you both did. The train horn rings out, startling you both, and you lean down to grab your things. You look back at Steve, an unreadable expression still on his face. “I love you, Stevie.”  
You turn and run onto the train before he can respond, not stopping until you find a quiet corner near the back. You sit down with a sigh, mind spinning, making you dizzy. You pull your notebook from your bag and scribble a message on it before ripping the page out, crumpling it, and tossing it out the window.  
Somewhere between Brooklyn and Staten Island, a crumbled confession tumbles across the ground with each passing breeze.  
I kissed Steve Rogers. And I think I love them both.  
  


_-_

_Bucky,                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      April 27, 1942_

_I’ve been in basic training for about 2 weeks. Luckily, I don’t have to go nearly as long as you did. We’ll train for 4 weeks before shipping out. We don’t get any leave time before going overseas, so I’ll be leaving from Brooklyn on May 4. We’ve learned all the Army rules and about ranks. They make all of us second lieutenants when we join. Some of the girls say it’s to protect us from the soldiers when we go overseas, since we can’t fraternize with anyone other than officers. Good thing you’re a sergeant._

_Our chief nurse, Dot, is a first lieutenant. She says she can read auras, which is the color of your personality, except every aura she read was blue. Blue auras are around people that like to help others, so it makes sense why a bunch of nurses have blue auras. Except my aura isn’t blue. Dot says it’s red, which means I’m passionate, strong willed, and survival oriented. Now all the other nurses call me Red, since my aura was different. I don’t mind it._

_I’ve made other friends, too. The kind you feel like you’ve known your whole life. (But don’t worry, you and Steve are still my boys.)_

_There’s Antoinette, but we call her Attie. Her parents were French immigrants, if you couldn’t tell. Attie tells us beautiful stories every night, and we all go to her when we need advice or reassurance. There’s Rachel, but we call her Ray, because she’s our ray of sunshine. She cheers us up when we’re missing home. She’s a lot like Steve, because she’s somehow soft and full of anger. And then there’s Maggie. She drinks coffee the same way Steve does, bitter as sin. She’s fun to talk to though, because you can talk to her about anything._

_We’ve had to do some real Army training, too. Using gas masks, running, pitching tents, map reading, camouflage, and how to dig foxholes. That made some of the girls nervous, since we all thought we’d be far from the front lines. Turns out that the Army needs nurses at the front, and they need them now. That’s why we don’t get any leave time. We don’t know where we’re going yet, but we’ve heard a lot of talk about the African campaign. We think that’s where we’re headed._

_I know you can’t tell me where you are or what you’re doing, but I hope you’re staying safe. I heard from George a few weeks ago, he’s somewhere in Europe, can’t say where though. Maybe you’ve seen him? He says he’s fine. I haven’t heard from Steve yet, but he was supposed to start Basic last week. Let me know if you hear from him first. Stay safe, write if you can._

_I love you._

_-_

_Bucky,                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 November 11, 1942_

_I got your last letter, I’m glad you’re okay. We came overseas in May, and they took us straight to Africa, just like we suspected. We’re somewhere in the North, but we don’t really know where._

_Things were okay for a while. Things were quiet, so we were really only treating men for dehydration. But three days ago, they launched an attack they had been planning for a while. I don’t know much about the attack itself, just the results. We had about 500 men killed. At least, that’s what they’re telling us. We treated hundreds more. It was awful, Bucky. Gunshot wounds in every location of the body you can think of. Face, neck, arms, legs, chest… I had to have removed hundreds of bullets. The explosions were the worst part. Men were dragged to our tent with limbs barely hanging on, screaming in pain. There was so much screaming…_

_I still can’t get all the blood off me. The physicians tell us that this wasn’t that bad. Said they’ve had to treat 3 times as many men in the same amount of time. I can’t imagine._

_I just…Please write to me, Bucky. As soon as you can. Don’t wait for my responses, they take so long to get to you. I’m so worried about you and what you’re going through. I hear the war in Europe is much worse. Stay safe._

_I love you._

_-_

_Bucky,                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          March 1, 1943_

_The war in Africa has gotten worse. I heard we’re near (redacted). There was a battle that ended about a week ago. Worse than the first. Hundreds dead. Thousands wounded. Thousands missing. It was a massacre, and we lost a lot of ground. We spent the first few days hearing the sounds of battle grow closer and closer. They finally moved us back a few days later. I’ve had more men die in my arms the last few days than I would have ever expected. Sometimes they know it’s coming, and they want you to distract them. Sometimes I sing. Sometimes I tell them stories about you and Steve. They seem to like those best. I told them about the night you asked me out, do you remember? That was in June, almost 10 years ago. Feels like a lifetime now._

_I got a letter from Steve a few months ago. He said he’s selling war bonds in the States, but didn’t offer much more than that. Have you heard anything?_

_Your birthday is in a few days. I wish we were back in Brooklyn with Steve. I wish none of us ever got involved in this war. Stay safe, sergeant._

_I love you._

_-_

_June 1933_

Your low heels click on the sidewalk beneath you, echoing in the quiet of the night. It’s late, too late to be out alone, but the weather was nice for June in New York. Not as hot as it had been. You couldn’t resist the beauty of the city when the weather was like this. You let your feet carry you deeper into the city, away from the apartment buildings full of first generation immigrants.

You pause on the sidewalk between two buildings, pulling out the pocket watch that once belonged to your father. One glance at the time and you knew that you should head back; your brother would be up soon for his shift at the shipyard. You start to turn and walk back to your apartment when a low moan from the alley behind makes you stop. Your eyes scan over the dark alley, searching for the source, finding nothing. Just as you’re about to walk away, another moan rings out in the quiet. You step closer to the alley and mutter, “Hello?”

You are met with silence. You take a deep breath and step into the alley. “Is someone there?”

You hear a quiet voice groan out, “Over here.”

You move closer to the sound of the voice, cautious, the outline of a body beginning to come into view. You jog to the figure faster when you recognize the familiar face looking up at you. You drop to your knees beside him, asking, “Steve Rogers?”

He glances at you through the one eye not swollen shut, whispering your name in recognition. You survey the injuries on his body, taking note of them as you go. A gash on his forehead, one black eye, bloody nose, dark bruises already appearing on his skin, along with various other cuts and scrapes. You pull a handkerchief from your pocket and press it to the steady flow of blood coming from his forehead. He winces at the contact. “What happened?”

 “Stumbled upon a few guys harassing a lady. Tried to stop em.”

You shake your head in disbelief at the stupid bravery in this 90 pound teen. “Where’s your friend? Bucky?”

“Probably at home, worrying about me. I found a quarter while he was cleaning up after dinner. Snuck out to buy him some strawberries. They’re his favorite.”

You pulled the handkerchief away to check on the cut, still bleeding. You place it back on the wound and question, “You’ve been out here since dinner time?”

Steve nods, wincing at the pain it causes him to do so. “Hurt too much to move.”

“I’ll help you home. Can you stand?”

Steve nods again and you help him to his feet, before motioning for him to put his arm around you. You wrap your arm around him and half walk, half carry him back to his apartment. He indicates which apartment is his and he leans against the door frame as you grab the spare key and unlock the door. You’re halfway through the door with Steve when Bucky comes rushing around the corner of the living room, worry etched deep into his face. “Where the hell-“

He cuts himself off when Steve looks up at him, giving him a good view of his injuries. Bucky runs over and grabs Steve, leading him down a hallway and into a bedroom. As Bucky settles him onto the bed, you ask, “Where’s the first aid kit?”

Bucky glances up at you and motions to your left. “In the bathroom cabinet. Down the hall.”

You nod and move to the bathroom to gather the first aid supplies, returning just as Bucky is talking to Steve. “…was worried sick, Steve. I thought you dropped dead somewhere. I looked for you for hours.”

You see Steve’s expression soften as he whispers, “I’m fine, Buck. Just a lil cut up.”

Bucky glances up as you walk in, reaching out for the medical supplies. You shake your head. “I’ve got it.”

He smiles in thanks and drops onto the bed beside Steve to watch you work. You clean the small cuts on his body before busying yourself with the gash on his head. You glance at Bucky and then Steve before you ask, “What about your ma?”

“She’s working right now.” You make eye contact with him in question, and he clarifies, “Nurse. Down at the TB ward.”

You smile softly. “I’ve always wanted to be a nurse.”

Bucky laughs from beside Steve. “Stick around with us, and you’ll get plenty of practice.”

You look over at him as you apply butterfly bandages to Steve’s wound. “Are you trouble, too?”

Bucky shrugs. “Someone has to watch out for Steve.”

You smile and lean back from Steve, the bandaging complete. “There. All ready to go for your next fight.”

Steve smiles at you. “Thank you.”

You return his smile with one of your own, “Anytime.”

Bucky stands from the bed, “I’ll walk you home.”

You shake your head and start to protest, but he cuts you off. “I’m walkin you home.”

“Okay.” You stand from the bed and glance down at Steve. “Try to stay out of trouble. You don’t want to open that cut back up.”

You turn and walk out of the room, following Bucky down the hall and into the early morning air. The sky is starting to lighten from the deep of night, and you know your brother is already up. You just hope he hasn’t noticed you missing. You walk in silence for a few minutes before Bucky clears his throat. “Thanks for bringing him home.”

You wave off his thanks. “I just did what anyone else would have done.”

“Apparently not, since he was gone for over 8 hours.” You say nothing, and he asks, “What were you doing out so late anyways? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“I love the city at night. Needed the time out there. To think.”

Bucky nods. “What about your parents? Won’t they be worried to find you gone?”

You shake your head, a sad expression on your face. “My parents were killed in an automobile accident when I was 10. It’s just been me and my brother ever since.”

“I’m sorry.”

You’re about to respond when you hear someone calling your name. You turn to Bucky in alarm and you start to push him away. “That’s my brother, you have to go! He’ll kill us both if he thinks I was out with you all night.”

Bucky grabs your hand and replies, “Wait!” He pulls you back to him and asks, “Can I take you out?”

You laugh, happy. “Yes.”

Your brother’s voice grows louder and you push Bucky away with a smile. “Bye, Bucky.”

He pretends to tip a hat at you. “M’lady.”

You watch as he backs away, before you turn and run back to your apartment, smile still plastered to your face.

_-_

_Bucky,                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           April 10, 1943_

_Dot is dead. There was another battle a few days ago. She ran to grab a soldier that had been shot in the leg, only to have a grenade take them both. I don’t remember much else from the last few days. I got a battlefield commission, though. First Lieutenant Red at your service. Chief Nurse._

_The other girls are happy for me, they say I deserve it. It’s hard to celebrate a promotion that comes at the cost of one of your best friend’s life._

_We’ve been in this war for nearly a year. It’s been 369 days since I’ve seen you. Kissed you. Touched you. I’m begging any god that will listen to bring you back to me._

_I love you._

_-_

_August 1943_

You finished sorting through the contents of the first aid kit, before turning to Attie. “Kit number 5 needs gauze and morphine.”

Attie mutters under her breath, “They all need gauze and morphine.”

You smile and start sorting through kit number 6, when the sound of excited talking draws your attention to the front of the tent. You watch as Maggie and Ray bound inside, chatting back and forth quickly. They light up when they see you and Attie. Ray asks, “Didya hear?”

“Hear what?”

“We’re going to Italy!”

You look at them in disbelief. “Italy? We’re going to Italy?”

Maggie nods excitedly, and you jump up and run from the tent, all 3 girls calling your name as you go. Your legs carry you through the camp quickly, and you burst through the entrance to your shared tent with the girls. You make a beeline for the box at the base of the bed, before lifting off the lid and sorting through the letters inside. Your eyes finally land on the most recent letter, dated June 22, 1943.

_-_

_Doll,                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             June 22, 1943_

_I’m sorry about Dot. I wish you never had to know the cost of war. It’s too high of a price for all of us._

_First lieutenant is something to be proud of, despite the price you paid. Dot would want you to be happy._

_I know my letters are getting shorter. I wish they weren’t. But there is never any time to write. My captain told me today that I can tell you what country I’m in, as long as there are no specifics. I am in the land of the Italians. No sign of George in my neck of the woods, so he’s gotta be somewhere else in Europe._

_I’ve gotten very little from Steve, too. I’m worried._

_I love you,_

_Bucky_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. WWII video about Army nurses (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FFSk5DQdhA&list=PLgHN7e2EKaZyFL1YL4cxPWbiqyBCm9OCC&index=3) 
> 
> 2\. 4 part series about Army nurses (http://www.sarahsundin.com/army-nursing-in-world-war-ii-requirements/)
> 
> 3\. Battles referenced: November 11 letter (Operation Torch), March 1 letter (Battle of the Kasserine Pass), April 10 letter (Battle of El Guettar) (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_World_War_II_battles_involving_the_United_States)


	4. iii. the grim reaper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 550 days after Bucky Barnes shipped out from Brooklyn, he gets reunited with his girl on a battlefield in Azzano.
> 
> Warnings: Lots of blood, death, injuries, and explosions. Very battle heavy. Also there’s some language in there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 3 has arrived, and it’s an angsty one! Please let me know what you think about this chapter! I did a lot of battle related research to try and write a realistic depiction of WWII. Hopefully I did it some justice. Check my endnote for more information.

_October 8, 1943_

You reach into the truck and grab a bag of supplies before turning and tossing it to Attie, who turns and tosses it down the line. You repeat the process, unloading the truck as quickly as possible, under orders to get the medical tent up before the wounded arrive. You are closing the back doors of the truck when a runner for one of the officers comes running your way, yelling. “Chief nurse, I need the chief nurse!”

You turn and yell out, “I’m here!”

He salutes you, and launches into his message, still breathless from the run. “The 107th is nearby and in need of medical supplies. Captain Taylor asked you to prepare a truck to be taken out.”

“The 107th?”

“Yes ma’am.”

Your breath stutters and you ask, “Who’s taking the supplies?”

“One of the ambulance drivers, ma’am.”

You shake your head. “I’ll do it.”

The runner looks at you in confusion. “Ma’am? Are you sure?”

“Yes. Tell Captain Taylor I’ll personally deliver the supplies.”

“Yes ma’am.” He salutes you before running off to deliver your message.

-

The sound of explosions grows louder as you near the drop off point for the medical supplies, and you can hear the cries of injured men as they become victims of the war. You pull the jeep to a stop at the designated drop off zone, eyes searching the trees for the soldier who was supposed to meet you. You hear a rustling in the trees in front of you, and you pull out your sidearm, aiming at the sound. Just as you’re about to shoot, a soldier bursts through the tree line, frantically whispering, “Reaper, reaper, reaper.”

Recognizing the code, you sigh in relief and reply, “Grim.”

He lowers his weapon and you lower yours before hopping out of the jeep and nodding at him in greeting. He eyes your uniform and asks, “You a nurse?”

You nod your head as you pull the packs of supplies from the back, “I’m the chief nurse.”

“We’ve been under heavy fire for a week, and our medic got killed two days ago, leaving us with untreated wounded. No one will evac them out. Do you think you could take a look at a few of them?”

You toss him a bag of supplies and reply, “Of course.” You gesture towards the path he took to get here. “Lead the way.”

You follow behind the soldier quietly, weapon drawn and on alert. As the sounds of the front grows closer, you ask, “Do you know Sergeant James Barnes?”

The soldier turns to look at you. “Bucky? Yeah, I know him.” He glances at you again, scrutinizing your features. “You’re not Red, are you?”

You smile. “I am.”

The soldier laughs in disbelief. “No way, He’s gonna be happy to see you.”

“So, he’s alive? He’s okay?”

The soldier laughs again. “Yeah, he’s okay. Never shuts up about you though.”

You smile and the soldier adds, “I’m Gabriel Jones, but everyone calls me Gabe.”

“Nice to meet you, Gabe.”

More explosions ring out in front of you, so close that you can feel it in the ground beneath your feet. Gabe stops walking and explains, “I’m gonna take you to the fox hole where we left most the wounded, see what you can do there. I’ll go find Barnes and the others and bring them to you.”

You nod and follow Gabe through the trees and onto the battlefield, bobbing and weaving between fox holes and missing chunks of blown up land. He finally stops by a fox hole and you slide into it, immediately busying yourself with the wounded. Gabe runs off with an “I’ll be back.”

You bandage the wounds of the men, giving morphine to the most severe cases, saving the rest for any others you might come across. You just finished bandaging a bullet hole on a soldier’s calf when you hear an explosion and an immediate cry for a medic. You peek over the edge of the fox hole, locating the source of the cry not far from where you are. The man’s screams are broken, loud. You know he is suffering.

You turn to the soldier next to you. “If Gabe Jones or Sergeant Barnes comes looking for me, tell him that I’m going to the foxhole right there.” You gesture to it and he nods.

Taking a deep breath, you climb out of the foxhole and onto the surface, immediately jumping to your feet and running to the sound of the soldier’s cries. Just as you reach the edge of the hole, a grenade lands inside, killing the soldier instantly. The force of the explosion sends you flying through the air and onto the ground, ears ringing loudly as you gaze up at the twilight sky.

You feel, rather than see, someone dragging you backwards and into a foxhole. You close your eyes and squeeze them tight, trying to bring your vision back into focus. When you open them, Bucky’s face appears in your view, and you watch his mouth move as you wait to hear sound. His words finally break through the ringing in your ears and you hear him yelling, “Talk to me! Are you okay?”

You smile and pull him into a hug, squeezing him tightly. You pull back and answer, “Yes, I’m okay!”

He looks at you in shock. “You scared the shit outta me! What are you doing here? Where’s your helmet?”

“I was delivering supplies. Didn’t know I’d need it.”

Bucky pulls the helmet off his head and drops it onto your own, fastening the straps beneath your chin. He mutters, “I gotta get you out of here. _We_ gotta get out of here.”

He turns to Gabe and a man you don’t know, discussing strategy. They seem to decide on something because Bucky turns back to you. “Stay here. Do not move from this hole, even if someone calls for a medic.”

“But Bucky, I-“

“Promise me!”

Your face softens at the panic in his voice. “I promise.”

He grabs the front of your uniform and pulls you in for a desperate kiss. “I’ll be back.”

And before you can even protest, all 3 men are gone.

-

You lean back in the foxhole, watching the bright white flare twist up in the sky, passing over the moon. The soundtrack of passing time consisted of explosions and bullets whizzing through the air, accented by the screams of the wounded. Suddenly, 3 figures leap over your head and into the foxhole with you, each landing with a quiet thud. Bucky flings himself against the edge of the shelter, turning his body to face you. “Are you okay?”

You nod and one of the men yells, “There’s gotta be at least 5 mortar companies out there!”

Bucky yells back, “Radio B company, tell em we need cover!”

Gabe pulls the radio from off his back, smoke rising from the device. “That might be tough!”

The unknown man yells, “Bucky, behind you!”

Bucky and the man both shoot over the edge of the foxhole, before Bucky turns and yells, “Here they come!”

You grab a forgotten gun from the ground near your feet and situate yourself next to Bucky, firing alongside him and taking out the enemy. You all pause when you see blue rays of lights shooting across the battlefield, disintegrating the men that once stood there. You all rise from the foxhole slowly, eyes fixed on the horizon in shock as a tank rolls over the hill and slowly levels its weapon with your location, Bucky grabs you and yanks you down as he yells, “Duck!”

There’s a loud explosion and dirt rains down on you and the other men, before there is only silence. Bucky pulls your gun from your hand and tosses it to the side, urging the others to do the same. You all hold your hands up in surrender as a group of soldiers in all black outfits appear at the edge of the foxhole, weapons leveled at you.

The enemy soldier closest to you gestures with his gun, “Move.”

You all stand slowly and crawl from the shelter and onto the battle scarred surface. The soldiers keep you there, as a uniformed man emerges from the tank and strides over to you. Bucky pulls you behind him, placing himself between you and the new arrival, an action that doesn’t go unnoticed. The man in uniform gestures to you, “Bring her with us, but separate her from the others.”

Bucky plants himself in front of you and yells over his shoulder, “Run, go!”

“No! I’m not leaving you!”

Bucky pushes you away and urges, “Go get help! Go!”

Two of the enemy soldiers descend upon you, and you start to scramble backwards, tears streaming down your face. They each grab one of your arms and you start to flail and kick in protest, trying to get away from them. You can hear Bucky yelling your name, desperation heavy in his voice. You both fight against your captors, trying to reach each other, when the sound of a gun cocking freezes you both in place.

You look over at the man in uniform, his gun in his hand, aimed at Bucky. “One more move, and he’s dead.”

You whimper but stay frozen. He turns to the guards, “Shock them.”

White hot electricity courses through you before everything goes black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Battle of Azzano (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtPIuhF5MvU)


	5. iv. to get me through the war

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Prisoner of war, noun. A person who has been captured and imprisoned by the enemy in war. 
> 
> Warnings: Torture, angst, sadness. Mentions of blood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s a painful one, y’all. I’m sorry :( But it’s important, so I had to. As usual, the angel human Attie (@/barnesrogersvstheworld) has corrected my copious grammatical errors. Let me know what you think about this chapter!

_October 9, 1943_

“What am I supposed do with her? I need men. Strong, healthy men.”

“I’ve given you strong, healthy men. They all end up dead. Today, I bring you something better. They have something different than the others.”

“And what’s that?”

“Something to fight for.”

-

You wake up with a gasp of breath, eyes flying open and scanning the room. Panic sets in as you take in your surroundings, not recognizing the damp basement or men in white coats. You try to sit up on the bed beneath you, only to fall back onto it unsuccessfully. You turn and lift your limbs as much as possible, alarmed to find your wrists and ankles handcuffed to the bed. You try to scream for help, but the gag in your mouth muffles all your attempts. You struggle to escape for minutes, leaving your wrists raw and bleeding.

But you freeze in place when you see the uniformed man from the battlefield enter the room. He notices the sudden silence in the room, and his eyes land on your cowering form. He smiles and walks over to you. “Ah, you remember me, I see. I didn’t have the chance to properly introduce myself yesterday, but I am Johann Schmidt.”

A small man with glasses appears on the other side of your bed, tinkering with the equipment around you. Schmidt gestures to him, “And this is Dr. Arnim Zola.”

Dr. Zola doesn’t even look at you as he turns on the equipment at your side, and the humming of electricity instantly sends a chill down your spine. Two nameless doctors move beside you with a tray of various syringes, and they start to prep your arm for an injection. You instantly start screaming and flailing as much as you can, sending the tray of syringes flying and forcing the doctors to back away.

Schmidt yells, “Bring him in!”

Your blood runs cold as a bed is wheeled into the room, with Bucky strapped down to it. You start screaming his name as loudly as you can, flailing in an attempt to get free and get over to him. You see his head lull to the side, eyes glassy and unfocused, and you know that he can’t hear you. Schmidt grabs a syringe from one of the doctors and yells, “Either you get the injection, or he does! I’m not sure he’ll survive a 4th.”

You start sobbing, but you stay still as Schmidt walks towards you, the two doctors in tow. They inject you three times, once in the arm, once in the chest, and once in the leg. Your vision starts to swim as your eyes pull out of focus, and the sounds around you start to distort. The last thing you hear is Schmidt’s muffled voice, praising you. “Good girl.”

-

_October 11, 1943_

Someone is calling your name. It’s desperate. Broken.

Unconsciousness takes you again.

-

_October 15, 1943_

You wake up screaming. Throat raw, wrists bleeding, the blood in your body on fire. You thrash your head from side to side, praying to god, any god, to make it stop.

You feel the prick of a needle a moment later, and then silence.

-

_October 22, 1943_

Electricity pulses through your body, lighting every nerve ending up like a firecracker. The pain is instant, it leaves you jerking and kicking uncontrollably. You hear a voice yell, “More!”

The pain in your body intensifies, and you pull on your restraints with every ounce of strength in your body, desperate to find relief. You feel the handcuff on your right arm give out a second before the one on your left, you look down at your freed wrists in shock. The electric pain intensifies a second later, and you free your ankles as you rip the wires from your body. “She’s free of the restraints, pin her down!”

The panicked cry sends your body into high alert, and you roll off the bed and onto the ground below. Your legs are too weak to support you, leaving you to scramble across the floor towards the door. You feel a boot crush the bones in your hand, pining you in place, and you swing out at the guard’s leg with your other arm.

You hear the bone in his crack on impact, and he drops to the ground with a scream. You continue towards the door, only to be dog piled by guards a second later. You flail and scream and kick as the guards pin you down and drag you back towards the door. The commotion must be loud enough to hear down the hall, because you hear a familiar voice screaming your name.

You fight harder against the guards, screaming, “Bucky! Bucky, please!”

Dr. Zola’s face appears in front of you, blurry through your tears. You can make out the pleased grin on his face. “Goodnight.”

And then everything goes black.

-

_October 31, 1943_

Everything is heavy. Your brain is fuzzy. It sounds like there is cotton stuffed in your ears. But you swear you can smell blood from a room three doors down the hall.

-

_November 3, 1943_

“To get me through the war when things get bad. Get bad. Get bad.” The words leave your mouth without you even thinking. “I’m memorizing you. This moment. Why? The war.”

The sound of explosions nearby causes you to turn your head to the side, eyes searching the dark hallway for the source. You can feel your senses sharpening with every passing second, and you hear your name being called moments later. You rattle the chains on your bed, hoarsely crying, “In here, I’m in here!”

Steve and Bucky appear in the doorway, Bucky clinging to Steve. You smile and whisper, “Hi Buck. Hi Stevie.”

Steve looks at the chains on your bed in horror before snapping them with ease. You look at him in awe as he pulls you in for a hug. He whispers into your hair, “What happened to you?”

“Me?” You croak, “What about you?”

Steve pulls back and Bucky stumbles forward, pressing a sloppy kiss to your lips. You smile as he whispers, “Hi, doll.”

A series of explosions ring out, one after the next, and Steve yells, “C’mon, we gotta go! The building is coming down!”

You cling to Bucky as you both stumble and sway down the hall, trying to regain use of your limbs. Steve is ahead, on high alert, leading you down a long hallway. He kicks in a metal door at the end, and you follow him through it to the main part of the factory. You feel the heat of the burning building rising, and Steve motions for you to follow him up a metal staircase. Bucky pushes you in front of him and you all scramble up the stairs quickly, trying to escape the building that’s falling apart around you.

You’re all running down a metal ramp when a voice rings out. “Captain America! How exciting!”

Your blood runs cold as you all pause in place, turning to find Schmidt and Dr. Zola on the other side of the steel ramp. You start to move closer to Schmidt, fueled by the memories of pain. By Bucky’s screaming. But Bucky reaches out to grab you, pulling you close to him. Steve steps up and acts as a barrier between Schmidt, and you and Bucky.

“I am a great fan of your films.” Schmidt hands a case to Dr. Zola before turning to stroll closer to Steve. “So, Dr. Erskine managed it after all. Not exactly an improvement, but still, impressive.”

Steve and Schmidt meet in the middle, and you can feel Steve’s anger from where you are standing. He pulls his arm back and lands a punch in Schmidt’s jaw. Steve angrily mutters, “You’ve got no idea.”

“Haven’t I?” Schmidt questions before swinging a punch towards Steve. He lifts his shield just in time, and you don’t miss the dent left behind from Schmidt’s fist. Steve tries to pull his gun on him, but Schmidt beats him to it, hitting Steve so far he flies backwards towards you and Bucky. Schmidt descends on Steve with a hungry look, but Steve plants his feet firmly on Schmidt’s chest, pushing him through the air and onto the ramp a few feet back.

Before anything else can occur, Dr. Zola flips a switch for the ramp, separating Steve and Schmidt and preventing any further harm. Schmidt yells out, “No matter what lies Erskine told you, I was his greatest success!”

He grabs the skin of his face near his jawline and begins to pull, revealing a bare skull that’s free of flesh and blood red in color. You shudder in disgust, clinging to Bucky tighter. Bucky turns to Steve and asks, “You don’t have one of those, do you?”

Schmidt continues on, “You are deluded, Captain. You pretend to be a simple soldier, but in reality you are just afraid to admit that we have left humanity behind. Unlike you, I embrace it proudly. Without fear!”

Schmidt steps into the elevator with Zola, ready to retreat. Steve taunts, “Then how come you are running?”

Schmidt says nothing, activating the doors of the elevator instead, ending the conversation. Steve turns to you both and yells, “Let’s go!”

You follow him up another flight of stairs and over to a rickety metal beam that connects both sides of the platform. Steve urges Bucky forward, “One at a time.”

Bucky starts to protest, to urge you across first, but you cut him off. “I won’t have the strength to pull myself over.”

He nods and scrambles over the railing, inching along the beam, explosions around him nearly causing him to lose his balance. He pauses to steady himself before he continues inching toward the other side. You all hear the metal groan ominously, and Bucky turns to look back at you and Steve in fear before sprinting the last few feet to the other side. He grabs the rail and pulls himself over before turning and motioning for you to follow. You climb over the rail and move across the beam as quickly as possible, hating every creak and groan that sounds beneath you. You step over the joint of the beam, halfway across, and the shift in weight causes the beam to slip an inch. Two. Three.

You panic and close the distance between you and the other side, jumping and grabbing the rail as the beam falls into the fire below. Bucky grabs you and pulls you over the edge, both of you panting with fear and adrenaline. You and Bucky both stand and turn to Steve, panic in your eyes. Steve looks lost, but yells, “Go, get out of here!”

Bucky looks at him with desperation and yells, “No! not without you!”

Steve glances at the rails in front of him and then back at you and Bucky, before he reaches down and bends the rails back, creating an opening. He jogs backwards and looks at the distance with skepticism, and you and Bucky step back a little to give him space. You see Steve shake his head a little, grimace, and take off running toward you, jumping as he clears the platform, flying over the explosions below. For a moment, you lose sight of him behind a column of fire and debris, but he bursts through a second later, his hands landing on the rail in front of you. You and Bucky run forward and grab Steve, pulling him over the rail and onto the platform. You stare at each other in disbelief, before Steve pulls open the door behind you and ushers you both into the freedom of the night.


	6. v. a gift from the gods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Smut. It’s literally 2% plot and 98% Stucky x reader smut. 18+ only please!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my apology for the angst of the last few parts. I’m still trying to get the hang of Stucky x reader smut (there’s so many parts??? and so many limbs to keep up with???) so please let me know what you think!

##  _November 3, 1943_

You trudge through the mud and snow toward the single tent on the far side of the camp. Most of the men were asleep, exhausted after their escape from Hydra’s camp, but you wanted to make sure all were patched up before you called it a night. You lift the flap of the tent and step inside, finding Bucky stretched out on one of the sleeping bags. “Where’s Steve?”

Bucky sits up and shrugs. “Said something about checking the perimeter.”

You move in front of him, nudging his legs apart so that you can settle between them, wrapping your legs around him to hold him in place. You look up at him, eyes searching his blue ones. “Are you okay?”

Bucky nods. “Are you?”

You take a deep breath, swallow back your tears. “I heard you screaming sometimes. Calling my name. And I remember being in pain, but not much else.”

“That’s about all I’ve got, too.”

“What were they doing to us, Bucky?” You shudder.

“Hey,” Bucky whispers. He places a hand on either cheek. “It doesn’t matter anymore. It’s over now.”

You press a soft kiss to his lips, lean back just enough to say, “The gods brought you back to me. Guess I oughta thank em for that.”

Bucky smiles against your lips. “I’m gonna show ya how glad I am to be back with you.”

He leans in and nips your lips playfully, causing you to giggle, before he kisses you again. The kiss is desperate, all teeth and tongue, and Bucky pulls away to kiss the soft skin of your neck. You moan softly and run your hands up his arms, closing your eyes and turning your head to the side to give him better access. When you open your eyes and glance at the entrance to the tent, you see Steve standing there, watching you and Bucky quietly. When his eyes connect with yours, he starts to back out, but you mutter, “Wait.”

Steve freezes in place and Bucky looks up at you, before following your eyes and seeing Steve. You look at Bucky, eyes having a silent conversation, before he nods. You look back at Steve and whisper, “C’mere.”

You feel Bucky’s arousal twitch at your words, and you look down at him with a wicked smile. He pulls you in for a rough kiss, both of your tongues fighting for dominance. Bucky pulls away to kiss down your neck and chest, unbuttoning your shirt as he goes, pulling a moan from your throat. You turn to watch Steve through hooded eyes, his eyes tracing the path of kisses that Bucky leaves on your skin. You motion for him to come closer, and he moves towards you on his hands and knees, stopping when his lips are centimeters from yours.

Bucky pulls away from your skin to watch as you grab the front of Steve’s uniform and pull him into a passionate kiss, biting his lip as you pull away. You hear Bucky whisper, “ _Fuck_.”

You pull yourself off Bucky’s lap and scoot backwards, making room for Steve to move closer to Bucky. You watch as Steve leans close to Bucky, lips practically touching. Steve whispers, “Are you sure?”

Bucky’s only response is to crash his lips to Steve’s, tongue slipping inside Steve’s mouth when he lets out a moan. You moan as you watch them, white hot arousal pooling low in your belly. Bucky pushes Steve’s jacket off his shoulders, the buckles hitting the ground with a clink. Steve starts to unbutton Bucky’s shirt, but Bucky stops him. “No, no, no. We gotta thank you. For saving us.”

Bucky turns to look at you and reaches for you. You climb forward, instantly connecting your lips with his. He pulls away and nods to Steve, and you turn and kiss him instead. Bucky busies himself with Steve’s boots and pants, removing them both and tossing them to the side. Steve gasps loudly when Bucky grabs him for the first time, and you swallow his moans as Bucky starts to stroke him slowly.

You pull away from Steve’s mouth and kiss a path down his chest and over his newly sculpted abs, before wrapping your lips around him. Steve’s moans are low and deep as you work him, and a second set of moans draws your eyes over to Bucky, who is palming himself over his pants at the sight of you with Steve. You keep your eyes locked with Bucky’s as you bring Steve to the edge, before Steve lets out a long and broken moan, your name falling from his lips.

You pull off of Steve and kiss Bucky, hot and open mouthed, the taste of Steve still on your tongue. You and Bucky break apart just long enough to rip off your remaining clothes before he grabs you and pulls you forward, sinking you onto him. You both moan at the contact, the first in over a year, and you watch Steve over Bucky’s shoulder as Bucky thrusts into you slowly. You try to urge him faster, desperate, but he grips your hips and slows your pace. You lean back and look at him, and he whispers, “I wanna memorize this.”

You kiss him sweetly and let him control the pace, both of you watching each other near the edge. Steve crawls up behind Bucky and turns his head to the side, kissing him. They break apart and Steve pulls you in next, kissing you fiercely. He pulls away and whispers, “I wanna see you let go.” He turns to look at Bucky. “Both of you.”

Steve’s words push you both over the edge, groaning each other’s names as you ride the high. Everyone is quiet when you and Bucky come back down, tired and satisfied and unsure what to do next. Wordlessly, you lie back on the sleeping bags, pulling Bucky and Steve down with you. You all tangle together in a mess of limbs before falling asleep somewhere in the woods of Italy.


	7. vi. i'm not goin' anywhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Description: Steve Rogers is given permission to gather a team, and Bucky Barnes ensures that his two favorite people are ready for what’s to come.
> 
> Warnings: Smut at the end, so 18+ only for that! Also, explosions, mentions of past torture.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A special thanks to my best friend @barnesrogersvstheworld, as always, for being a supportive angel and fixing all of my grammatical errors. This chapter isn’t very action packed, but it has important info, so it’s necessary. It’s about to get really action packed/full of angst, so enjoy this chill chapter while you can!

_George,                                                                                                                                                                                                         November 12, 1943_

_~~I was captured. And tortured.~~ _

_~~I don’t know what they did to me.~~ _

_~~Something is wrong. Different.~~ _

_Hi Georgie, I haven’t heard from you in a while. Things have been okay lately. I’m in Italy, I’ve been hoping to run into you since I know you were in Europe. I have run into some men from the 101st Airborne, just like you, but they said they haven’t heard from you or the rest of the 506th. I guess your company has been busy._

_I miss you, George. I miss cooking with you every Sunday morning and hearing about your days at the shipyard. I even miss you giving me a hard time about dating Bucky. Write when you can, don’t leave your baby sister worrying._

The sound of the door opening behind you startles you, and you turn to see Bucky walking in, a tired smile on his face. You set your pencil down and push the letter to the side of the desk before turning to stand. Bucky walks towards you, dropping parts of his uniform as he nears you, eager to be rid of the dressed up ensemble. You smile as he pulls you into a hug and presses a kiss into your hair. You pull back and ask, “Done with your debriefs?”

He nods, “Thought I was gonna be in there for days.”

You smile, and then furrow your brows when you realize he arrived alone. “Where’s Steve?”

“Still debriefing, I think. He caught a glimpse of a map when he found me. They think it’s the location of the other Hydra bases.”

You hum in response but say nothing. Bucky glances over your shoulder to the desk you were just sitting at, spotting the letter on its wooden surface. “Is that for George?”

You sigh, heavy. Bucky leads you over to the bed and you both sink onto it, before you look up at him with wide eyes. “It’s been months, Bucky, and I haven’t heard a word. I’m worried sick, and all I can think about is Zola.”

Bucky lifts his hand and rests it on your cheek, the warmth reassuring. He whispers, “He’s okay. Zola is in Austria somewhere, with Schmidt, and we’re gonna get them both. They can’t get to him. Or us.”

You nod, tears welling up in your eyes. “I just- I don’t know how to tell him about Azzano.” Bucky’s thumb brushes away the tears that started to fall. “Steve keeps asking, too. I don’t know how to tell anyone, Buck.”

He gives you a sad smile. “I don’t either. But that’s okay.”

Before you can respond, the door flies open, Steve bursting through in a flurry of smiles and excitement. He looks at you and Bucky on the bed, tears still damp on your face, and he stammers. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-“

Bucky waves off his apology and you wipe the tears from your face, offering Steve a smile. “No, no, it’s okay.”

“Are you sure? I can come back later.”

Bucky replies, “We’re sure.” Steve smiles a little, before Bucky questions, “Are you gonna tell us what had you coming in with so much energy?”

Steve’s face splits into a grin, and he moves closer to the bed. “Colonel Phillips wants me to assemble a team to take out the Hydra bases all over Europe.” He smiles and looks between you and Bucky. “And I want you on it. Both of you.”

Bucky smiles, “I’m in, but-“ He glances over at you, “Should she really-“

You cut Bucky off with a hard look. “I’m in too. Besides, you could both use a nurse around.”

Bucky whispers your name quietly, and you turn to look at him, noting the concern written all over his face. Steve speaks up softly from beside you. “We can keep an eye on her this way, Buck. She’ll be far from any danger. We’ll keep her safe.”

Bucky runs a hand through his hair, and sighs. “Fine. But I’m not letting her, or you,” He turns and gives Steve a look, “Go into this without better training.”

You and Steve exchange nervous looks, but both nod. “Okay.”

“Deal.”

-

##  _December 1st, 1943_

You double over, gasping for breath, the icy December air burning your lungs with every intake of breath. You hear the splashing of boots in the mud behind you, and you know you need to keep running, but every command your brain gives your legs is ignored. The steps slow as they reach you, before stopping beside you, two bodies shielding yours from the cold gusts of wind.

You turn your head slightly to the side, peeking up at the men, eyes instantly landing on the disappointed look on Bucky’s face. Exasperated, you gasp out, “What?”

“You wanted this.”

You stand up straight and glare at Bucky, your hands settling on your hips. “No. I didn’t want to get left behind while you two ran straight into danger like idiots. When you said you were putting us through real basic, I didn’t realize that meant running until I threw up. Or passed out. Or both.”

Steve spoke up from beside you, “C’mon, it’s not that bad.”

You flash an annoyed look at him. “Your opinion doesn’t count, Captain Science Experiment.”

Steve clutches his chest, pretending to look hurt, but Bucky cuts in before the argument continues. “Okay, okay. 1 more mile and run the obstacle course again, and we’ll call it a day.”

“Fine,” you grumble out, before taking off running and completing the last mile. You are halfway through the obstacle course, scrambling over the wall behind Steve, when the familiar whistle of incoming mortars sounds above you. The mortar lands near the back of the base, shaking the ground and flinging you off the wall and into the mud below. You scramble to your feet as more mortars whistle overhead and Steve grabs your hand and pulls you behind him. “We have to find cover!”

You look around for Bucky, spotting him just ahead, frantically motioning you and Steve towards a building nearby. You and Steve burst through the open door and Bucky pulls it shut behind you, before you all run down the stairs into the basement of the building, the sound of explosions muffled in the small space. You, Bucky, and Steve all stand there, tense and scared, saying nothing. And the realization hits you that the mortars were close, but in a few weeks, you’d all be running into much worse. Bucky seems to come to the same conclusion at the same time, because your eyes lock with his, and you both reach out for each other, lips crashing in a desperate kiss. You pull away, breathless, and turn to Steve before giving him a similar kiss, your tongues fighting for dominance, hands grabbing at each other’s clothes. 

Bucky is behind Steve, pulling his clothes from his body and Steve pushes your clothes to the floor around you. He pulls away as he reaches out to touch you, whispering, “Is this okay?”

You grab his hand and guide it between your legs, before pulling him back into a kiss and moaning into it. Bucky is behind Steve, kissing his shoulders and back, and preparing him for what was to come. Bucky thrusts into Steve, drawing a loud moan from between his lips, and you break your kiss with Steve to make eye contact with Bucky as Steve slides into you. You feel your knees grow weak with pleasure, and Bucky nudges Steve towards you until you’re backed up to the wall behind you. Bucky leans forward to kiss you as your eyes flutter shut with pleasure, and Steve drops his head to your shoulder, little puffs of breath hitting your skin. You pull away from Bucky as you hit your climax, leaning back into the wall as you finish loudly. Your orgasm pushes Steve over the edge, followed by Bucky, and the room grows quiet as you each come down from your high. 

Hours later, the mortars have stopped, casting an almost eerie silence over the abandoned SSR base. Steve carries you back to the room you all share, your body tired from the day’s events. You drift in and out of sleep, catching snippets of Bucky’s conversation with Steve. 

“I thought we were safe out here.” You can hear the worry in Bucky’s voice.

“We are. Colonel Phillips said no one will know we’re here. We were probably just caught in some cross fire.”

Bucky’s voice breaks when he says, “It’ll be worse out there, you know.”

Steve sighs, and you feel the bed shift as he reaches for Bucky. “You never told me what happened with the doctor. She hasn’t told me either.”

You feel guilt settle in your stomach at the concern in Steve’s voice. You know Bucky feels it too. “I know. I don’t think we know what to say, even if we were sure of what really happened. All that matters now is destroying Hydra and capturing Schmidt and Zola.”

Steve’s voice is lighter when he answers, “I saw her shootin’ today. Seems to have picked up some marksman abilities from you.”

You roll over and crack your eyes open, and you see Bucky smile. “Yeah, at least I know she can hold her own, no matter what happens to us.”

“You plan on leaving me, Sergeant?” you mumble quietly, slightly anxious.

Bucky leans back on the bed beside you, pulling Steve down with him. “You know time and space couldn’t keep me from you.”

“What about you, Captain?”

Steve’s voice floats towards you from the other side of Bucky. “I’m not goin anywhere.”

You give them a sleepy smile. “Good, cause I don’t know what I’d do without the two of you.”


	8. vii. witchcraft in your lips

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Description: The Howling Commandos launch their first attack on one of Hydra’s European bases, and unfortunately things rarely go to plan. 
> 
> Warnings: Explosions, injuries, blood, war. Do I need to warn you about angst?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My little angels, part 7 is here and marks the beginning of a lot of angst, so I hope you’re ready! I finally outlined the last few chapters and it looks like 15 chapters will be the final count, so still a lot to go! I’m so so so excited for y’all to see where this is going. This chapter is unbeta’ed (this is definitely not a word), so all mistakes are my own! Let me know what you think!

_March 10, 1944, somewhere in Italy_

You stand hidden in the tree line, the Hydra base looming large just ahead. Nerves eat away at your insides, and one glance at the men around you, you know they’re feeling the same. A bitter gust of wind blows between the trees, biting at your exposed skin. You turn away from it, your back now to the facility, and your eyes land on Bucky and Steve, huddled over a map. As if they sense your gaze, they both turn to you, each giving you a soft smile. You smile in return and they turn back to the map, Steve’s gloved finger tracing over the surface, outlining a plan, Bucky nodding his head in agreement.

After a moment, Steve folds up the map, tucking it into a pocket on his uniform. He heads over to the other men, relaying the plan to them, while Bucky makes a beeline for you. He eyes your hunched up shoulders, smirking as he stops in front of you. “Cold?”

You nod. “I thought it was supposed to be spring.”

“Almost.” He glances down at his jacket, before undoing the buttons. “Here, I’ll get warm once we go in there anyways.”

You smile in thanks, and hesitate before asking, “What’s the plan?”

“Steve, Falsworth, Dugan, Morita, Jones, and I are all storming the front. Dernier is going to lead a team of some of the 107th around the back and make sure no one escapes out there. You’re going to be here, hidden in the tree line, sniping anyone that comes this way. Just keep this path clear so we can come back out.”

You let out a shaky breath, “Okay.”

“Hey,” he whispers, reaching forward to place his gloved hand on your cheek. “You’re gonna be fine. We’ve been running mini missions with the 107th for months, and you’ve always pulled through. And this sure beats the frontlines.”

You smile, nodding. “Yeah, you’re right about that.”

Steve whistles softly from behind you and quietly asks, “Everyone know their orders?”

The men all nod, and Steve continues, “Get in position, meet back here once the explosives are in place.”

Everyone starts to grab their gear, and you turn back to Bucky with renewed fear. He pulls you in for a kiss, the pressure of his lips on yours instantly calming you down. He pulls away and smiles at you. “Knock em dead, Red.”

You giggle just as Steve approaches from behind. “Ready, Buck?”

You turn and smile at Steve as Bucky gathers his gear. “Be safe, Stevie.”

You glance at the “A” on his cowl, the small letter providing you a strange sense of comfort. Before you can contemplate your actions, you yank off your glove, and kiss your pointer finger, transferring some of your red lipstick to your fingertip. Rising to your tiptoes, you press your finger to the “A”, leaving a red smudge on the small letter.

He smiles at you and whispers, “You have witchcraft in your lips.”

You smirk in response, “Is that Shakespeare, _Captain_? Trying to impress someone?”

He laughs, “Yes. Trying. Mostly trying to say thank you for the good luck kiss.”

You start to respond when gunshots sound in the distance, and Bucky yells to Steve, “We gotta go!”

They both turn and give you one last smile before disappearing through the tree line and into the base ahead. You watch from your location, taking out anyone that attempts to escape from the base. You try to ignore the bursts of gunfire that make your heartbeat stutter with fear, and you keep your eyes focused on the front doors, waiting for Steve and Bucky to make it out okay.

A crescendo of sounds hits you all at once: the staccato of gunfire, the yelling of men, the perfectly placed explosives taking down the base, piece by piece. You burst through the tree line and run towards the base as a swarm of familiar faces runs towards you, and you scan every face that passes, searching for the men you love. You finally see Steve coming towards you, his arm thrown securely around a limping Montgomery, and you yell towards him. “Steve! Where’s Bucky?”

Steve glances over his shoulder quickly before turning back to you. “He was right behind me! The last explosive wasn’t triggering so he had to manually detonate it!”

Steve continues past you, helping Montgomery back to the rendezvous point, while you stand in the doorway, waiting for Bucky. You hear the sound of the explosions growing closer, and you know the bombs are timed to detonate at the entrance last. Finally, you see Bucky round a corner up ahead, a smile splitting his face as soon as his eyes land on you.

The explosions continue to tear through the building, the resulting fires now visible from the corner Bucky just appeared from, and he’s now a few yards ahead of you. You gesture wildly in an attempt to speed him up, only to watch as Bucky suddenly falls to the side, the momentum from a bullet knocking him off his feet. You look up and find the shadow of the Hydra operative, before firing blindly at him and running to Bucky, screaming his name.

You are within feet of him when a nearby explosion sends you flying backwards, landing on the ground with a harsh grunt. Adrenaline pumping through your body, you pull yourself to your feet, wiping the blood from your vision and running towards Bucky again. You hook your arms under his and pull him backwards towards the door, talking to him as you go.

“Bucky? Bucky, can you hear me? Bucky, are you okay?”

You pull him through the door and halfway across the base before the final explosion hits, and you drop down on top of him, shielding his body with your own. Debris rains down around you, pieces of wood thudding on the ground, dirt bouncing off your clothes like hail on a roof. There’s nothing but eerie silence when the debris stops falling, and you lift your head and look around, scanning the area for any movement. Finding none, you ease off of Bucky, leaning back to look at his face. You press your fingers to his neck, sighing in relief when you feel his pulse drumming beneath your fingers.

The thundering of approaching footsteps causes you to whip your head up quickly, pistol drawn and pointed at the sound. You lower it when you see Steve and Gabe pause, hands lifted in the air. They close the space between you, Steve dropping to the ground next to you. “Is he okay?”

“Yes. Alive and breathing. Took a beating though. Help me take him back to base and I can look him over better back there.”

Steve nods and scoops Bucky up in his arms, Bucky’s head rested firmly on Steve’s chest. The walk to base only took a few minutes, and you hold the flap of the tent open as Steve steps inside with Bucky still in his arms. He places Bucky on the pile of blankets you all use as a bed, and you grab your first aid kit.

You scan Bucky’s body for injuries, cleaning the few scrapes and cuts, and taking note of the bruise darkening on his ribs. You settle next to his right arm, ripping open his shirt from the neckline over to his right bicep. The bullet went through the front of his bicep and out the back, leaving everything important intact. You clean the two bullet holes before stitching them both and bandaging them with gauze.

Exhausted, you lean back against a chest nearby, the adrenaline dump finally wearing off. You wince at the pounding in your skull, and you gingerly touch the gash on your head, your fingers sticky with drying blood. Steve breaks the silence after finally watching you work. “He’s gonna be okay, right?”

You nod and pull your first aid kit towards you, digging around for antiseptic. “Yeah, bullet went clean through. It’ll scar, but he’ll be alright.”

You start to dab the antiseptic on your cut blindly, hoping you’re getting the blood off. Steve moves closer, kneeling down in front of you, whispering, “Here, let me.”

You smile in thanks and pass him the antiseptic, smiling as he lightly cleans your cut. He searches your first aid kit until he finds the butterfly bandages, which he uses to carefully close the wound. He leans back slightly when he’s done, smiling down at you. You whisper, “Thanks.”

He glances down at your lips before his eyes lock with yours, and the atmosphere in the room shifts quickly, becoming electric. He leans in slowly, giving you time to pull away, before crashing his lips to yours, tongues instantly fighting for dominance. You pull away when a voice croaks out behind Steve.

“Shouldn’t you both be kissin me instead? I am the one that got shot after all.”

You look at Steve and giggle, and he blushes slightly. You both slide towards Bucky. “How ya feeling?”

“Oh, I’m alright. Practically no pain.”

He tries to sit up, only to wince and lower back down. You roll your eyes, “No pain, huh?”

You give him a serious look. “You bruised your ribs pretty badly and you have bullet hole in your bicep. You’re gonna have to take it easy for a few days.”

“Yes, First Lieutenant. Whatever you say.”

You smile down at him, “And don’t you forget it.”


	9. viii. war makes monsters of us all

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some would argue that there’s no place for humanity during a war. 
> 
> Warnings: It gets kind of dark this chapter. There’s blood, injuries, and war crimes being committed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, this one is kind of intense, but it’s necessary so, sorry :( Another unbeta’ed chapter so enjoy all of my errors lmao. And please let me know what you think! I had to get into an intense headspace for this, so I hope everything comes off the way I intended.

##  _August 25, 1944, somewhere in the Austrian Alps_

You blow out a warm breath, watching as it floats past your lips and into the cold air. The snowy forest was quiet except for the soft sounds of boots crunching around you, and your eyes dart to each of your team members before scanning the tree line again.

You hear footsteps speeding up behind you, and moments later, Bucky is at your side. “See anything?”

You whisper back, “Nothing. Maybe the intel was a bust.”

“I hope not, I was looking forward to our reunion with Dr. Zola.”

You smirk and suppress a laugh, “Me too. But we did that surveillance for days and didn’t see a thing.”

Bucky says nothing, but he shifts his gun from his right arm to his left. You don’t miss his slight wince. “Does it feel alright?”

Bucky nods, giving you a smile. “Yeah, yeah, it’s fine. Sometimes it aches in the cold.”

“Must be aching all the time, then. I don’t think I’ve been warm since I left Brooklyn.”

Bucky smiles again, but his reply is cut off by Steve holding up the signal for stop. Simultaneously, all eight pairs of boots freeze in place, ears straining to pick up any sounds. Somewhere in the distance, a branch cracks, and everyone snaps their heads in the direction of the noise, eyes searching the trees for movement. Steve waves the group forward again, everyone on high alert and searching for members of Hydra.

Steve turns, surveying the trees, before he abruptly pulls his shield off his arm and tosses it into a nearby tree, knocking a Hydra foot soldier into the snow near Dugan. You watch as Steve catches his shield with little effort, returning it to the spot on his arm. All at once, grenades began landing all around the team, explosions throwing everyone to the ground and disorienting them slightly. Steve is the first to stand, yelling at everyone to split up, telling them which direction to run to. Bucky pulls you to your feet, just as Steve yells, “Sergeant, First Lieutenant, with me!”

You both start to run towards Steve, only to watch in horror as a Hydra foot soldier appears from behind a nearby tree, tossing a grenade right at Steve. It explodes behind him, throwing him forward, leaving him crumpled on the ground just ahead of you. Steve’s name tears through both of your throats as a desperate scream, your feet scrambling you forward to get closer to him. As you draw closer, you see the blood staining the snow red, pouring from injuries all over his body.

Bucky drops to his knees beside Steve, calling his name, tears blurring his vision at the sight of the blood spilling from a wound on his neck. You’re about to drop down beside Bucky when you see the shadow of the foot soldier moving just ahead, attempting to retreat from his bloodshed. The red of Steve’s blood stains your vision, leaving you with fiery rage, and you take off after the soldier, Bucky screaming your name behind you.

Your feet carry you through the snow quickly, your eyes trained on the soldier as he bobs and weaves between trees in an attempt to lose you. You gain on him quickly, the adrenaline coursing through your veins and pushing you towards him. He turns to judge the distance between you, panic flashing through his eyes when he sees how close you are. He turns back just in time to stumble down a snowy hill, his body rolling down it, feet over his head, a blurry mess of limbs. You scramble down it quickly, reaching the bottom in seconds, and he turns over and attempts to scramble away from you.

Realizing that he can’t outrun you, he throws up his hands and yells in German, “Nicht schießen Ich gebe auf!”  _(Don’t shoot, I give up!)_

You pull your pistol from your belt, aiming at his head, finger resting on the trigger. The soldier is crying, loud sobs permeating the air as he repeats his surrender over and over. You stand there watching him, Steve’s blood in the snow weighing heavy on your mind. You hear the sound of someone approaching from behind, and you don’t even turn at the sound, choosing instead to keep your eyes focused on the crying soldier.

You feel disgust rise up in your throat as you watch him cry, anger flashing through you again when you remember that he didn’t have mercy on Steve when he threw a grenade right at him. You hear Bucky yelling your name behind you, desperation cracking his voice. “Please, he’s surrendering! Put your gun away!”

And without another thought, you look the crying soldier right in the eyes, and pull the trigger. He falls to the ground at your feet, dead, as you turn to Bucky. For the first time since you’ve met, he’s looking at you like he doesn’t know who you are. You feel a flash of regret until you remember Steve’s bleeding body, and you stalk past Bucky and back towards Steve.

Bucky stands still in the snow for a minute before running to catch up to you, yelling at you to stop. When he reaches you, he grabs your shoulder, forcing you to stop and turn around. He looks hurt when he asks, “Are you listening to me? You just committed a war crime! They could put you to death for that!”

You give him a nasty look. “Yeah, and who’s gonna tell?”

Bucky looks at you again before sighing and motioning to where you ran from. “Steve is hurt real bad. Bleeding from shrapnel in his back. Caught some to his neck too. Might even be dead from bleeding out while you ran off to kill a surrendered man.”

You ignore the jab, the weight of the soldier’s death beginning to weigh on you. The sound of a jeep approaching causes you and Bucky to look up, Gabe hanging out the side and calling your names. “Peggy and the 107th heard the fightin from camp, sent up a jeep for the wounded. We’ll get you back to camp so you can fix up Steve.”

You both hop in the back, and Bucky asks, “Is he okay?”

“Still breathing. But it’s shallow.” Gabe turns to you with a smile, “He could use the help of the best nurse in the Army.”

You smile back, but it doesn’t quite reach your eyes. As soon as the jeep reaches base camp, you and Bucky are running towards the medical tent before the jeep even stops, splashing through the mud from the melted snow. You burst through the tent’s entrance, searching for Steve, finding him surrounded by a team of amateur nurses. You wish your girls were here to help, and you push the amateurs to the side as you start to yell orders to anyone that’ll listen. “I need morphine, gauze, tweezers, and fluids. Now!”

Everyone scrambles to grab the supplies you asked for as you scan Steve’s body for the worst injury. The gauze at his neck was thick and entirely soaked through with blood, so you peel it away slowly, blood still leaking from the wound. “Bucky, I need a light!”

He tears through a supply kit on the floor, pulling out a flashlight and shining it on Steve’s neck. You sigh and take a fresh piece of gauze from one of the nurses, pressing it to the wound. You look at Bucky. “It didn’t hit an artery, but it’s still a nasty injury.”

You make quick work of picking out the shrapnel, cleaning the wounds, and stitching them before you wrap the wound on his neck and wrap his back in gauze. An hour later, blood stained and exhausted, you collapse on one of the cots in medical. You send the team from the tent, grateful for the silence. Bucky comes over to you, kneeling between your legs and looking up at you. He whispers, “What happened out there?”

Your bottom lip quivers and tears spill over your cheeks as you let out a broken sob. You wrap your arms around his neck and he wraps his arms around your waist, both of you clinging to each other with everything within you. When your sobs turn to whimpers and finally to sniffling, you pull back and mutter, “I am so sorry. I don’t know what came over me…”

You look down at your hands in your lap, caked in Steve’s blood, and your voice cracks when you continue, “I saw Steve’s blood in the snow, and all I could see was red after that. Red hot anger, and nothing else.”

Tears slip down your face again as you glance over at Steve and then back at Bucky. Bucky brushes them away as he replies, “I’ve felt that before, when Zola made me watch as he tortured you.”

Your eyes lock with his and you whisper, “But that’s what Zola made you. This…” You trail off, brushing a finger over Steve’s dried blood, “This is who I am.”

“Hey, hey, hey.” He holds your face between his hands. “I’ve told before that the cost of war is high. And I begged the universe that you would never have to pay it.”

“Do they know?” Bucky looks at you in confusion. “Do the men know what I did?”

“No.” Bucky grabs your hands and squeezes them. “We’re the only ones that know, and it’ll stay that way until the end of time.”

You nod, grateful, before moving to sit by Steve’s bed, resolving to watch over him until he wakes up.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> endnote: Howling Commandos Montage, minute mark 0:31-0:48 is the scene I have in mind for this mission. (on youtube)
> 
> Thank you to Maggie for sending me the incredible timeline by @end-o-the-line, here on AO3, which I used as a reference for the mission. This mission is loosely based off her reference: 2. An approach with additional military forces through a forest, in the snow.


	10. ix. knock em dead, red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Description: No one is safe in war. No one. 
> 
> Warnings: Injuries, blood, explosions, cursing, war, some angst. It’s WWII, you know the drill. Allusions to smut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi okay, so, this is partially based off a drabble I wrote many moons ago when I used to write daily drabbles, so some of you may recognize bits and pieces, but there are lots of new parts added. I hope you enjoy! also, I love you all very much and I hope life is treating you well.

##  _November 17, 1944, somewhere in France_

You sit on the ledge of the jeep behind Bucky, peering over his shoulder at the map Steve has spread over a wooden crate. You watch the two men work: debating over the best maneuvers for the terrain, deciding who will move where, where to position the additional troops allotted for this raid.

The movement of men with cameras isn’t foreign to you anymore. After months of successful raids against Hydra, the government sent cameramen every few months, eager to get their hands on good news for those back home. Bucky is relaxed in front of you, leaning comfortably into you, fingers laced through yours, eyes never once moving to the cameramen around you. Steve is tense; back rigid, eyes flicking from the cameramen to the map every few seconds. As one of the men steps closer, attempting to zoom in on the small photo wedged into the lid of Steve’s compass, Steve snaps the lid shut, flashing a look of annoyance at the camera. You bite back a smile as the cameraman moves away from the jeep and over to the other Commandos to film them instead.

Bucky lets out a snort of laughter. “Always so shy around the cameras, Stevie.”

You lean forward, a wicked smile on your face. “He’s never shy any other time.” You glance over at Bucky and give him a smirk. “He certainly wasn’t shy last night when he was screamin’ our names.”

Bucky laughs and Steve blushes, before throwing a glare at you. “That’s different. Being with both of you is…different.”

“Aw, we love you too, Stevie.”

Your statement hangs heavy in the air, the months of unspoken feelings bubbling just under the surface. Steve mutters, “Are we…are we ever gonna talk about it?”

Bucky sighs. “And ruin a good thing? No need. Besides, there’ll be plenty of time to talk about it after the war is over.”

Steve nods and Bucky glances at you, and you nod too. You all sit in silence for a minute before Steve breaks it. “I’ll go fill everyone in on their objectives.”

Bucky tips his head in acknowledgement and answers, “I’ll get her suited up.”

You look at Bucky in confusion. “Suited up? What are you talking about?”

“We need a nurse on the ground today. Intel says this base is heavily fortified, so we could be seeing a lot of injuries out there.”

“When was this decided?”

Bucky smiles, “Last night, when you were sleeping. We just…we lost so many people at that base in Greece. So many people that could have been saved if we let you down there with us. Maybe you can prevent that from happening today.”

You nod, “Okay.”

Bucky smiles and reaches behind him to grab something, before settling a helmet on your head. “You’re gonna be near the back of the group, away from the heaviest fire.”

“I’m assuming you and Steve will be up front.”

Bucky digs in a crate in the jeep, pulling out ammo and small weapons. “Yes,” He hears the shaky breath you let out, and he turns to you with a smile. “Hey, we’ll be okay. We always are.”

You look at Bucky with a look of annoyance and confusion. “Buck, you got shot in March. And there’s no way you’ve already forgotten about all the shrapnel I pulled from Steve in August.”

Bucky gives you a reassuring smile, before pressing a small pistol into your hand. “Yeah, but you’ll be on the ground with us today. If anything happens, I know you’ll be the first person to reach us.”

Bucky hands you a jacket and a different pair of boots. “It’ll be better if you blend in. I heard they target medics in the field.”

You shudder slightly and change, just as Steve returns from talking to the others. He looks down at you with a smile, “Ready?”

“Yes.” You glance at the A on his cowl, a reassuring habit you’ve picked up over the last few months of missions. As long as you were looking up at it and giving Steve his good luck kiss, it meant he was alive. It meant you were alive. You kiss your finger and press it to the A, leaving the good luck smudge behind.

Steve smiles in thanks and offers your hand an affectionate squeeze. “You know, the only mission you didn’t give me a good luck kiss was the day I got shrapnel in my neck.” He gives you a bright smile and starts to back away from you, towards the front of the group. “There really is witchcraft in your lips.”

You laugh and turn away from him and back to Bucky, who’s giving you a similar bright smile. He kisses you and whispers on your lips, “Knock em dead, Red.”

You smile as he pulls away and joins Steve at the front, leaving you to blend in with the soldiers as you all march towards another Hydra facility.

-

“Medic! I need a medic!”

The soldier’s voice is cracking, desperate. You peek around the corner of the hall, only to quickly pull back again, 3 bullets lodging in the wall where your head was moments before. Taking a deep breath, you pull out your pistol and hold it in front of you, before glancing across the open hallway to the wall on the other side. 12 feet. 12 feet between you and the other wall of the hallway, with the soldier on the ground further down the wall.

You pop out from around the corner again, firing blindly down the hall as you move from one side of the hall to the other. You’re halfway to the other side when you feel the force of a bullet as it hits your side, but you continue moving until you are safely hidden behind the opposite wall. You collapse on the ground, staring down at the blood staining your jacket, waiting for the pain to come. The injured soldier’s desperate cries are growing weaker as he yells, “Medic!”

You crawl over to the man, scanning his bodies for injuries. Finding none, you ask him, “Where are you hurt?’

He weakly mutters, “Back.”

You pull him forward and suppress a gasp at the sight of his back, blood leaking from 5 different bullet holes. The blood is pooling beneath him and you know he’s bleeding out. You lean him back carefully and give him a shot of morphine, listening as his breaths grow more labored before finally stopping. You pull a set of tags from his neck before standing and glancing down the empty hall.

A series of explosions begins echoing in the distance, and you recognize it as the tell tale signs of the destruction of the base. You jump to your feet and run down the hall turning and weaving through the building as you navigate its maze like structure. The explosions grow louder and louder as you run through the empty halls, and through the sounds of destruction, you hear a chorus of people calling your name. As you round the corner, you see Bucky, Gabe, and Dugan all yelling your name, gesturing for you to run faster.

You all make it out of the building and across the grounds before the last bomb detonates, sending the rest of the building up in flames. Bucky’s hand is securely gripping your own, and he’s yelling at you as you continue to flee the base. “What happened? Where were you?”

“I got pinned down in a hallway. I thought I had more time.”

Bucky lets out a bitter laugh. “You were supposed to. They had an unmarked escape route, and they started fleeing from the building and into the woods. We had to set the bombs off before they all escaped.”

You look around the woods suspiciously. “So, there’s Hydra in these woods?”

“All over it. Steve is up ahead making sure the path is clear, and Dugan and Gabe are bringing up the rear, making sure we don’t lead em straight to us.” Bucky glances up ahead, eyes searching the trees. “I need to find Steve and let him know we’re all accounted for. Are you okay?”

You nod and Bucky flashes you a smile before running ahead of you. Your adrenaline rush from the building wears off quickly, bringing your attention to the burning in your legs, the result of running so long. You press your palm to the growing pain in your side, gritting your teeth as you push through it and continue running. The sun is beneath the trees before Steve finally lets the group approach the base, everyone still tense and on guard. You practically drag yourself into camp, exhaustion creeping into every inch of your body. Up ahead, you see the shadows of Steve and Bucky moving around in your shared tent, but you lack the strength to join them. Instead, you collapse near a small fire the other Commandos were making, just large enough to keep warm and still stay out of sight.

You pull your hand from your side and wince at the blood coating it, before gathering enough strength to croak, “Dugan, help.”

Laughing at something Jones said, Dugan turns to you with a smile, instantly sobering up when he sees the blood staining your hand and jacket. He jumps up and immediately launches into action, “Falsworth, Morita, grab her, she’s been shot!”

You feel your body being lifted and shifted as you watch Dugan run to the tent to find Steve and Bucky. The tent swims in and out of your vision, your head falling to the side, lacking any strength to hold it up. You’re halfway there when Bucky bursts from the tent, your name falling from his lips in a panicked gasp. Steve emerges from the tent immediately after, and they are at your side in a flash, relieving Falsworth and Morita.

They carry you inside and settle you onto the pile of blankets, and Steve looks at Bucky, eyes full of panic. “What do we do?”

Bucky takes a deep breath, his voice calmer when he answers. “Dugan, keep an eye on the perimeter, I’ll take care of this.” Dugan nods and Bucky turns to Steve, “Find her field kit.”

Bucky lifts you into a sitting position, carefully removing your jacket from your body. His face swims in and out of your vision, your eyes having a hard time focusing. He whispers to you as he works, “Why didn’t you tell me you were shot?”

Your reply is a mumble, “Didn’t think it was ‘mportant.”

Bucky pulls back to look at you, reaching up to push some hair off your sweaty forehead. He places his hands on your cheeks and kisses your nose before whispering to you with a serious tone. “Of course it’s important. Do you remember me saying that the woods are crawling with Hydra soldiers?”

You nod, and he continues, “It’s also important that you’re very quiet for me.”

You see the anxiety weaved into his features as he whispers, “There’s no exit wound, so I’m gonna have to dig the bullet out. It’s gonna hurt, but I’m gonna need you to stay still and stay quiet, okay?”

You nod, just as Steve returns, field kit in his hands. Bucky lays you back on the blankets before cutting open your shirt, exposing the bullet hole. He grabs a bottle of antiseptic, and you whine at the sight of it. His eyes flash to you and he says, “Steve, hold her still.”

Steve laces his fingers through yours and places his other arm across your side, holding you still. Bucky locks eyes with you and asks, “You ready?”

You nod and he doesn’t hesitate in dumping some of the antiseptic right onto the injury, clearing the blood away. You cry out as soon as the antiseptic touches your skin, lighting the injury on fire. Bucky looks at you with tearful eyes and whispers, “Shh, I know, I know. But they’re gonna find us if you aren’t quiet.”

Tears fall down your cheeks and Steve lowers himself beside you, nudging your head to the side so you’re looking at him. Your eyes lock with his ocean blue ones, a reassuring smile on his face. Bucky pulls out a pair of tweezers and you turn at the sound, whimpering at the sight. Steve turns your head back to look at him again. “Hey, look at me, okay? Only me.”

You nod and you watch as Steve nods at Bucky, signaling for him to start. You scream as soon as the metal tweezers push into the wound, lighting the nerves on fire there. Steve lifts your joined hands, bringing his wrist into view. “Bite on my wrist, okay? You won’t hurt me.”

You clamp your teeth down onto his arm as Bucky digs around for the bullet, the pain intensifying with each passing second. It only takes a few seconds for black spots to gather at the edge of your vision, growing larger until all you see is black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> howling commandos montage, minute mark 1:16-1:24.
> 
> and of course, thank you to @end-o-the-line for the brilliant timeline. I used (5. another Hydra base raid, #5) as my reference.


	11. x. sacrifice is just a pretty name for losing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Description: They say we won. They didn’t say what we lost.
> 
> Warnings: Smut, angst, death, injuries, trauma, sadness, trains.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there are FIVE chapters left in this fic. FIVE, we are almost done. third, after this chapter, you will get TWO CHAPTERS A WEEK, which will wrap the series up on Christmas. what a gift.

##  _February 14th, 1945_

You lean forward from the backseat of the jeep, wedging yourself in the space between Steve and Bucky, a wide grin on your face. “I can’t believe they’re giving us 2 weeks of leave time!”

Bucky turns to you with a shrug, “We did just save all those men outside of Stalingrad.”

You shudder at the memory, “In a blizzard, at that.”

Steve reaches up, absentmindedly touching the scar on neck as he jokes, “And we’ve all been shot at least once.”

You lean back and ask, “So, what’re we gonna do in London for two whole weeks?”

“Well, Stark gave us a list of-“

You cut Steve off with a grin, “No, I mean what’re we gonna  _do_?” You lean forward again, a wicked grin on your face. “It  _is_  Valentine’s Day, you know.”

Bucky laughs from the passenger seat, “Oh we know, you’ve only mentioned it 15 times since we got up this morning.”

You turn to him with a mock glare. “Yeah? Well sue me for being excited.” You lean closer to him, lips brushing his as you threaten, “Keep that attitude up and I won’t do anything with you.”

Bucky says nothing, choosing instead to pull you in for a kiss. You smile into it before dipping your tongue into his mouth, pulling a moan from his throat. You pull away from each other when the jeep abruptly swerves, a car on the opposite side of the road honking as he blares past. You and Bucky turn to Steve, immediately catching the flush of his skin and the tension in his shoulders. Bucky taunts from beside you, “Enjoying the show, Steve?”

Steve’s voice is annoyed when he replies, voice straining on the last word. “Could you two not do that while I drive? It’s  _distracting_.”

You and Bucky exchange a mischievous look, and you lean closer to Steve, running your finger up his thigh. Your breath fans across his neck as you whisper, “We don’t mean to be distracting.”

You kiss the soft skin of his neck, and he moans as he chokes out your name. “Please.”

“Please what?” You lightly tug on his earlobe and ask, “What do you want, Stevie?”

“You,” he chokes out, before glancing over at Bucky. “Both of you.”

You hear Bucky moan behind you and you glance over your shoulder to see him touching himself over his pants. You turn back to Steve with a smirk, “Better drive faster, Steve, I’m not sure Bucky’s gonna make it much longer.”

Steve pushes the car as fast as it will go before turning down a small street and pulling up in front of large hotel. You, Steve, and Bucky are out of the car in a flash, grabbing luggage and trudging through the snow to the front doors. Bucky holds the door for both of you, and Steve goes to the front desk to retrieve the keys, while you and Bucky hang back, the air around you charged with tension.

Steve calls your names and gestures towards the elevators, and you and Bucky stride across the lobby quickly. As the elevator begins to rise, you whisper, “Do they know? About the three of us?”

“Peggy promised discretion. Important people with secrets stay here, and they won’t risk their reputation.”

You nod but say nothing, sighing in relief as the elevator reaches your floor. Steve steps out first and leads you to the room, ushering you both inside before locking the door behind you. You drop your bags near the door, before wandering around the room, admiring the décor. The boys follow you as you walk into the bathroom, smiling when you see the large tub. You turn to look at Steve and Bucky with a smirk, “Fancy a bath?”

They both nod, so you start the warm water before digging around in the cabinets for soap and Epsom salts. You turn off the water, dump the Epsom salts in, and gesture to the tub, “Strip.”

Steve and Bucky undress quickly, discarding their clothes in a pile on the floor. They both slide into the tub, moaning as the water makes contact with their skin. You stand in front of the tub and undress slowly, their eyes watching you as you drop your clothes on the floor piece by piece. You step into the tub between them, splashing water over the side as you lower yourself inside. “I don’t remember the last time I felt warm water.”

You turn to Steve and hand him the soap. “Wash my hair?”

He looks at you with affection and nods, and you turn your back to him. You smile at Bucky and gesture for him to spin, which he does with a smile. Steve squirts soap into his hands before passing you the bottle so you can do the same for Bucky. He lathers the soap into your hair, carefully massaging your scalp.

You work the soap into Bucky’s hair, laughing as it turns brown after only a few seconds. “Damn, Barnes, have you been washing your hair at all?”

Bucky turns slightly and flashes you a cheeky look over his shoulder. “Why bother? The snow always turns to mud, and somehow we always end up covered in it.”

You laugh and tap his shoulder and he leans back, allowing you to rinse his hair. Steve does the same for you when you finish with Bucky. As you rise up from the water, you turn and face Steve again, locking your eyes with his. You grab the soap and massage it into his hair, smiling as he closes his eyes in contentment. You rinse the soap from Steve’s hair, but you continue massaging his scalp gently, happy to finally see him at peace. Bucky slides up closer behind you, tipping your head to the side slightly to kiss your neck in the way that always drives you crazy.

Your quiet moan causes Steve to open his eyes, watching as Bucky leaves little marks on your skin. Steve leans in slowly and you meet him halfway, lips crashing together in a frenzy of built up anticipation. He pulls away to whisper, “Can I touch you?”

“Yes,” you whisper back, half desperate.

Steve’s hands roam your body as he kisses you, and Bucky’s hands slide from your side to the front of your body, deftly touching you and driving you wild. Water is sloshing from the tub and onto the floor from the movement in the tub, and you pull away from Steve just long enough to mutter, “Bedroom.”

Steve pulls away and steps from the tub, and Bucky steps out after him, offering you his hand. You take it and he lifts you up and to him, bodies pressed together as he crashes his lips to yours. Bucky backs you up and leads you to the bedroom, where the three of you finally satisfy the building urges of the last few hours.

Hours later, sated and half asleep, a knock sounds on the door, confusing all three of you. You stand first, grabbing Steve’s shirt and your pants and pulling them on quickly. You open the door a few inches, careful to hide Steve and Bucky from sight. A hotel employee stands back from the door, smiling politely. “Yes?”

“Ma’am, there’s an urgent message for you.” He extends his hand, offering you a folded piece of paper. You look at it with skepticism, but take it.

“Thank you.”

You close the door and open the message, as Steve and Bucky stand from the bed and come near you. “What is it? Who’s it from?”

You scan the lines quickly, sighing as you extend the paper to them. “It’s from Peggy. They need us back.”

Steve takes the paper and Bucky’s brows pull together in confusion. “Why?”

“Doesn’t say, but you know Peggy wouldn’t be calling us back unless it was important.”

You kneel next to your bag and pull out some clothes before looking at Steve and Bucky with resignation, “Guess we’re going back.”

February 16th, 1945

“Intel says he’s on his way to Brenner Pass. You will intercept him here,” Peggy points to a spot on the map, “Before meeting at the rendezvous point here.”

“Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes will secure the train, Private Jones will secure the roof and protect the First Lieutenant until it’s time for her to inject Dr. Zola with the sedative.” Peggy scans the table, waiting for questions. Finding none, she dismisses everyone.

“We leave in 30 minutes, pack quickly!”

You, Steve, and Bucky all return to your tent, packing your bags for the last minute mission. You look over at Bucky, noting his tense shoulders. Moving closer to him, you wrap your arms around him from behind, asking, “What is it?”

He turns around in your arms, reaching out to brush a piece of hair away from your face. “I don’t like that you’re going. We know what Zola is capable of, it’s too dangerous.”

You give him a reassuring smile. “You and Steve are gonna clear the train while Gabe protects me up on the roof. You’ll be going into danger, not me. I should be the worried one.”

Bucky’s reply is cut off by an officer calling your name from outside the tent. “You can come in!”

He pushes through the flap and gives you a blank look. You pull away from Bucky and move closer to him. “What is it?”

“We found your brother.”

Your face lights up in a grin. “Finally! It’s been almost a year.”

The officer reaches out to hand you a letter. “He was killed in the Battle of the Bulge.”

Your ears start ringing as soon as the words leave his mouth, and you watch his lips moving, wondering why you can’t hear anymore sound. You feel your knees start to shake before you collapse, one thought running through your head as you fall on all fours. I am alone in this world. I am alone in this world. I am alone in this world.

The ringing stops when the sobs begin tearing from your throat, and you feel two sets of arms pulling you towards them and wrapping around you. You sob and try to crawl away from them, screaming, “I have to go to him! I have to find him! I can’t be alone, I can’t, I can’t.”

You hear Steve trying to soothe your sobs, and Bucky is pressing kisses into your hair, repeating. “You’re not alone. You’re not. We’ve got you.”

You don’t know how long you all stay there, but no one moves until your crying stops. Steve is the first to his feet, helping you and Bucky stand, wiping tears from your cheeks and fixing your smudged lipstick. Peggy enters the tent moments later, addressing Steve and Bucky. “Colonel Phillips needs to speak to you before you go.”

Steve shakes his head. “Tell him-“

You cut Steve off, giving him a small smile. “No, go. I’ll be okay.”

“I’ll stay with her.”

Bucky kisses your forehead, “We’ll be right back.”

You nod and they exit the tent, leaving you to finish packing with Peggy. She moves closer to you and reaches out to squeeze your hand. “I lost my brother too.”

You turn and look at her in shock. “Really?”

“Yes, Michael was killed early in the war. He’s actually the reason I’m an agent.”

You smile at her. “George always me encouraged me to pursue nursing. I just…I can’t believe he’s gone.” You pause, sucking in a shaky breath. “What if I lose them too?”

Tears well up in your eyes as you turn to Peggy, and she hands you a handkerchief from her pocket. “You won’t lose them. You’re going to capture Zola today, and he’ll lead us to Schmidt. Once Hydra is gone, our work is done. You can go home.”

“Home.” You imagine you, Bucky, and Steve arriving back in New York, getting an apartment together. Spending late nights wrapped up in each other and Sunday mornings with breakfast in bed. Trips to the park, reading the newspaper at a café, having kids. The thought makes you smile, and you turn back to Peggy. “I like the sound of that.”

-

You watch snowflakes as they float and fall around you, as you lift your shoulders higher to block the cold wind blowing through the trees, muffling Steve and Bucky’s conversation from behind you. Steve’s hand reaches out to touch your arm, startling you, and you look up and realize he’s waiting for an answer to a question.

“What?”

“I asked if you were okay.”

You smile, “Yeah. Just can’t believe we were in a bathtub together less than 2 days ago.”

Steve nods, but his reply is cut short by Gabe’s voice. “We were right, Dr. Zola is on the train. Hydra dispatcher gave him permission to open up the throttle. Wherever he’s going, they must need him bad.”

Steve pulls on his cowl and your eyes fall on the “A”, and you move closer to him out of habit to give him his good luck kiss. You lower yourself back down after pressing your red smudged finger to the familiar letter, and Steve surprises you by pulling you in for a quick kiss. He pulls away when Falsworth yells, “Let’s get going because they’re moving like the devil.”

You all move to the zipline at the edge of the cliff, and Steve yells, “We only got about a 10 second window. You miss that window, we’re bugs on a windshield.”

Falsworth warns, “Mind the gap!”

A grin splits Dugan’s face when he yells, “Better get moving, bugs!”

Steve readies himself up ahead, and you see the train approaching in the distance. Bucky turns and pulls you towards him, giving you a desperate kiss. He pulls away and whispers, “Knock em dead, Red.”

You smile, “Come back to me.”

He gives you a dazzling smile in return and replies, “Always.”

Bucky turns back towards Steve, preparing for Dernier’s signal. As soon as Dernier yells, Steve zips down the line, Bucky right behind him. You follow closely behind Bucky, and you hear Gabe behind you, bringing up the rear. You all descend until you’re situated over the train, dropping onto its roof one after the next. You run against the wind on the top of the train, Steve leading the small convoy to a ladder on the side of one of the cars.

Gabe kneels on the car behind the ladder, gun raised and ready for a fight. You watch Steve and Bucky climb down the ladder before disappearing into the train car below, and you kneel at the top of the ladder, fingers wrapped tightly around the cold metal. You strain to hear anything against the wind, ready to respond to the signals from Steve or Bucky.

The icy wind rushing around the train makes time move slower, the cold chipping away at your thoughts until you are hyper focused on only the snowy temperature. You are pulled from your thoughts by a loud blast, and you turn to Gabe and yell, “What was that?”

“I didn’t hear anything!”

“It sounded like a Hydra weapon!” You look down at the ladder before yelling, “I’m going in there!”

“Wait!”

You climb down the ladder carefully, before pulling out your weapon and stepping into the train car. You see a hole in the door of one of the cars, and just inside the doorway of the other is Steve and Bucky. You scramble towards them asking, “Are you okay?”

They turn towards you, a mixture of relief and anxiety on their faces, before Steve abruptly yells at you and Bucky, pulling you safely behind his shield. “Get down!”

The force of the explosion flings Steve against the wall and blasts a hole through the opposite wall. You and Bucky land closer to the hole, the shield at Bucky’s feet. Zola’s voice rings out in the air around you, “Fire again! Kill him! Now!”

The Hydra weapon fires up and Bucky pushes you to the side as he raises the shield to protect himself. The energy from the second blast sends Bucky out of the hole in the train wall, the shield clattering to the ground near you. You ignore it and jump to your feet, running to the opening and looking outside.

“Bucky!” You nearly cry with relief when you see him clinging to a handle on the train’s wall and you climb out of the train, inching your way towards him to pull him back in.

Steve is calling your name from the opening of the train, but you ignore him, focused instead on getting to Bucky. You reach the end of your rail, and you reach your hand out to Bucky, yelling, “Grab my hand!”

He eases towards you slightly, reaching out for your hand, your palms coming together with a clap as his hand grips yours. You hold his hand tightly as he attempts to inch closer to you, the metal of his handle groaning with his movements. With a final clink, the rail snaps, and Bucky’s weight pulls you off your rail, a scream tearing from your throat. The white of the snowy landscape is blinding, leaving you disoriented as you scream and fall from the train. There’s a flash of red as you hit the ground, and then everything goes black.


	12. xi. i am become death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Description: Longing. Rusted. Furnace. Daybreak. Seventeen. Benign. Nine. Homecoming. One. Freight Car. 
> 
> Warnings: Angst, lots of torture, lots of mentions of blood. Some cursing, violent acts, and sadness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so this chapter TORTURED me. it took me ages to write, but I think I finally figured out an ending that I’m happy with. DEFINITELY leave me feedback for this one, please, because I’m curious about what you’ll think about the end! Check the end for additional notes as well.

##  _February 16th, 1945_

A groan, fingers twitching against your arm, darkness.

-

A familiar voice, whispering. Being pulled through the snow.

-

Pain, everywhere. Russian, telling you to stop screaming.

-

You gasp as your eyes fly open, instantly sitting up and looking around. A sharp pain shoots through your head at the movement, and you press the heels of your palms to your eyes in an attempt to push the pain away. You lower your hands and look around, eyes adjusting to the dim light. You’re inside a small tent, gear haphazardly tossed near the entrance. There’s a sleeping bag beside you, but it’s empty.

You close your eyes to slow down your thoughts, trying to make sense of where you are and how you got here.

_London, with Steve and Bucky, and…Bucky. You were with Bucky last._

Your thoughts are interrupted by Bucky’s voice yelling at someone outside of the tent. You scramble towards the tent’s entrance and step outside, scanning the campsite for him. He sees you first, yelling your name, voice desperate. You run towards him, screaming, “Bucky!”

He breaks free from the man holding him, and runs towards you, both of you colliding into a hug. You cling to him, tears instantly spilling down your cheeks. He pulls away and lifts his right hand to your cheek, pulling you close to him for a kiss. You see the tears on his cheeks when he pulls away and you sob, “What happened?”

Suddenly, you are yanked backwards by a large man, yelling at you in broken English. Bucky is pulled away from you by the man that was holding him earlier, and as he is dragged away from you, you notice for the first time that part of his left arm is missing, and still bleeding. You scream Bucky’s name, kicking and clawing at your captor until you land an elbow to his neck, forcing him to release you. You run towards Bucky again, who is desperately trying to escape his own captor, blood now actively dripping from his arm.

You are grabbed from behind, the large man’s arms wrapping over your own, pinning them to your sides. Bucky yells your name, his voice cracking with emotion, and you yell back to him. “Bucky, your arm! Stop struggling!”

Bucky is pulled from your view and you are flung to the ground, and the large man hits you across the face when you try to stand, before kicking you in the ribs. You cry out and curl into a ball to protect yourself. The large man grabs you again and drags you to a tree, before tying you to it tightly and searching your pockets. He pulls out two syringes, and a name flashes through your head. Zola. You were on the train to get Zola.

The man holds up the vials, before asking in Russian, “Что это?” (What is this?)

You look up at him and stammer, “Sedative. Um, успокоительное.”

He nods before uncapping the syringe, leaning over and plunging it into your thigh. You gasp and he laughs out, “Good night.”

-

##  _February 18th, 1945_

You wake to the sound of someone screaming your name.

You blink your eyes open, waiting for them to adjust to the bright lights trained on you. The room comes into focus slowly. You are chained to a familiar looking table, and panic settles into your chest quickly. You try to sit up, only to be held back by the restraints on your arms and legs. You turn your head to the side, scanning the room, eyes landing on the faces of doctors that you’ve seen before.

You look to the other side, searching for the source of your name. You feel some relief when you first see Bucky, but it is quickly replaced with anxiety when you take a good look at him. His arm has finally stopped bleeding, but you can tell he still hasn’t received proper medical attention for it. His voice is raspy from screaming, and he’s not even looking at you as he cries out for you. There are wires attached all over his body, and your eyes trace them back to a machine at his side, one you instantly recognize as the one Zola used for electroshock therapy.

You start screaming when you realize the machine is on and cranked high, leaving Bucky to do nothing other than scream your name and pray for relief. You jerk your limbs on the table, clanging the metal of the restraints against the metal of the table, trying to make as much noise as possible.

You see Bucky’s eyes open at the sound and they lift to you, glassy but still focused. Your name echoes loudly in the lab space, Bucky’s cries sounding over everything else in the room. In moments he falls silent, unconscious, and you look to the doctor at his side, his hand still on the dial.

You yell louder and jerk harder, throwing all of your strength into freeing yourself from your restraints. You hear someone yell over the noise, “Shut her up!”

3 doctors are at your side in a moment, the syringes in their hands finding a home in your arm, chest, and thigh. It only takes a few seconds for the room to fade away.

-

##  _February 25th, 1945_

You blink your eyes open slowly, groaning against the pain in your head. The room comes into focus faster than before, the dim light of the early morning reflecting off the walls. It’s quiet, the sound of your breathing and the whirring of machinery the only sounds in the empty room.

You sit up, unrestricted by the burden of restraints, and you glance at your wrists and ankles to find them unbound. A voice echoes in the room around you, “Go. Go while you can.”

You whip your head around, searching for the source, before spotting a man in a lab coat, sitting on the ground. He looks up at you then, tears in his eyes, and whispers. “GO! Before they find you.”

You back away from him, looking around suspiciously, grabbing a scalpel off a nearby cart. Finding no one else in the room, you back towards the door slowly, turning in small circles as you remain on guard. You reach the door and look both ways in the hall, relieved to find it empty. You hear quiet murmurs from someplace down the hall, and you move towards it, praying you’ll find Bucky there.

At the end of the hall you find another small lab, and you creep inside slowly, searching for members of Hydra. Instead you find Bucky strapped to a table and you run towards him, whispering his name as you go. “Bucky. Bucky! Can you hear me?”

He mumbles your name and you smile as you start to free him from the restraints. “Yes! Yes, it’s me. We’re getting out of here.”

Bucky’s eyes open and he looks at you, and you watch as his eyes slowly focus. He gives you a dazzling smile when he sees you, whispering your name as he lifts a hand to your cheek. You smile and turn to kiss his palm before whispering, “We have to go, we don’t have a lot of time.”

Bucky slides off the table and throws his arm around you, both of you using each other for support. You stumble from the room and look around, trying to find a way out. You move back up the hall, passing your room again as you make a beeline for the metal door at the other end. You drop your arm from Bucky’s waist and hold up the scalpel as you step forward and pull the door open, wincing as the metal groans. You peek down the new hallway and see nothing, so you grab Bucky and squeeze through the door. You and Bucky jog down the hallway quickly, passing through two more doors with no trouble.

The last hallway has a larger door with a small window, but the room on the other side is pitch black. You pull the door open quickly, getting sloppy from your eagerness to escape, and as the door groans open, a group of Hydra soldiers and doctors come into view.

“Shit,” you whisper, turning to Bucky with a look of panic. “Run!”

You both take off down the hall, doctors and soldiers yelling at you in German and Russian. You put yourself between the soldiers and Bucky, hoping to give him more time to run, but he realizes what you’re doing and slows down to keep pace with you. “If you get captured, I get captured. I’m not getting out of here without you.”

You nod, fighting back tears as you urge your legs faster, running through all the doors from earlier until you are at the end of the hall by Bucky’s room, with nowhere left to go. You and Bucky stop and look around in a panic before you mutter, “What do we do, Bucky?”

“We have to fight them, that’s the only way out. Do you remember what I taught you?”

You nod and he continues, “Good. Cause here they come.”

You and Bucky turn to face the approaching group head on, your fists raised and ready to fight. The doctors reach you first, two of them converging on Bucky and the third running towards you. You lash out as soon as he reaches you, kicking and punching until you catch him in the nose, blood gushing from it as he curses and backs away from you. Two of the soldiers approach you as the doctor moves away, and you manage to kick one of them in the ribs with a satisfying crack. He falls to the ground with a pained cry, leaving you to spar with the other soldier one on one. He swipes at your feet and knocks you over, kicking you a few times before turning to Bucky to help the other two soldiers subdue him.

You pull yourself to your feet and run at the soldier, knocking him to the ground before straddling him and punching him repeatedly. You are punching the soldier over and over, knuckles stained red when you are suddenly yanked backwards by the back of your shirt, the collar choking you as you are dragged away from the soldier. You look over your shoulder and see one of the Russian men that brought you to captivity, pulling you away from the soldier with a grin. You wriggle from his grasp and run at him, only to be bat away like a fly, your body colliding with one of the walls of the base. You hit the ground with a scream, rolling onto your back to stare at the lights overhead. The man comes over and lifts you easily, grabbing you in a way that prevents you from fighting back. You look over and see the other Russian pulling Bucky towards your room, both of you desperately yelling each others names as you fight to escape.

You and Bucky are tossed into chairs across from each other, and the Russians are tying you up when a large group of doctors and soldiers enters the room.

The head doctor, one you recognize from your time with Zola, begins barking out orders in German. “Bereiten Sie die Injektionen vor. Schalten Sie die Maschinen ein. Und bring mir den Arzt, der sie befreit hat.” (Prepare the injections. Turn on the machines. And bring me the doctor that freed them.)

You and Bucky begin yelling at the same time, your voices overlapping, words indecipherable. The doctors wheel the electroshock machine to Bucky, and you yell to be heard over the chaos of the room, “No, no, no, no! Leave him alone!” You are crying, straining against the straps as they hook Bucky to the machine. “Please! Torture me instead, it was my fault!”

The head doctor turns to you and gives you a laugh, “You’ll get your turn.”

You hear the machine whir up and you look at Bucky, fear written on his face. You watch as he mouths, “I love you.”

Bucky’s screams rip from his throat a second later, and you are sobbing as you watch him struggle to get away from the pain. “I’ll do anything, please!”

The doctor holds up his hand, and the machine switches off as he gives you a smile that makes your skin crawl. “Anything? You would even kill the doctor that tried to save you?”

You look at Bucky, stomach dropping at the sight of him, his body obviously growing weaker from the repeated torture. “To save Bucky? Anything.”

“You would take his punishment, and your own?”

Your voice is confident, unwavering as you answer, “Yes.”

The doctor smiles, “Very well.” He turns to one of the soldiers and motions for him to bring in the other doctor. He comes closer to you and motions for the guards to surround Bucky, their weapons drawn on him. “One wrong move, and I will kill him, slowly, and you will watch. Understand?”

You nod and the doctor frees one of your hands, pressing a gun into it before pulling the other doctor closer, kicking him to his knees. You look at the gun in your hand, the crying doctor in front of you, and over at Bucky. The Hydra soldiers inch closer to Bucky, ready for you to act out. Bucky’s voice is weak, but it floats over to you. “Don’t. Don’t kill him.”

You turn back to Bucky, tears in your eyes. “I have to, it’s the only way to help you!”

Bucky shakes his head, “Doesn’t matter. He tried to free us.”

You turn back to the doctor, tears flowing down his face, and the head doctor snaps, “Enough. Kill him.”

You raise the gun, leveling it with the crying doctor’s head, and you hear Bucky calling your name before you pull the trigger and kill the man that tried to save you. The head doctor laughs and grabs the gun from your hand, before securing your wrist to the chair again. He tosses a picture into your lap, and you see the crying doctor in the photo, surrounded by 4 kids, and a woman. “His family will be heartbroken.”

You start to cry as they pull the electroshock machine towards you, freeing Bucky. You hear Bucky crying and calling your name, begging them to leave you alone. They attach the wires to you, and the head doctor yells, “Double it.”

You set your jaw and look at the doctor as they turn the knob to the highest setting, and he flips the switch with a grin on his face, your screams echoing in the room as the electricity courses through you.

-

##  _March 10th, 1945_

You hear someone whispering your name, and fingertips brushing over the tops of your cheeks. You open your eyes slowly, Bucky’s face coming into view. He gives you a soft smile and pulls you in for a kiss, before pulling away and whispering, “We’re leaving.”

You nod and Bucky removes your restraints, helping you from the table and onto the floor of the lab. You both start walking towards the door when the lights in the lab come on and a voice rings out, “Going somewhere?”

You both turn and see the head doctor standing there, a group of Hydra soldiers behind him with their weapons all aimed at you. Bucky pulls you behind him so he is between you and the guards. The doctor walks towards you slowly, and you press closer to Bucky, fear coursing through you. “I am tired of the trouble you both cause.”

He turns back to the soldiers and motions for them to grab you, and they snatch you up quickly, ignoring your cries as they drag you out of the room as the doctor follows. You are brought into a larger room in the base, where equipment litters every inch of available space. In the middle of the room are three identical tubes, with wires attached from them to the ceiling. You look over at Bucky, and he looks at you, both of you anxious and afraid. The soldiers push you towards the tubes as the doctor yells out, “Until Dr. Zola can return and deal with you, you will be put in cryostasis.”

You and Bucky both start struggling at the announcement, kicking and screaming in an attempt to get away from the guards and the cryo chambers. You are each thrown into a chamber and chained inside to prevent your struggling, before the heavy metal doors are closed. You look through the small window of the chamber to see the doctor smiling as he flips a switch and seconds later the ice floods your veins.

-

##  _October 25th, 1953_

The door of the chamber creaks as it is pulled open, and you strain to lift your head up, weak from your time inside. The restraints on your arms are undone and you collapse from the chamber into the arms of two doctors, who drag you across the lab and into a chair in the middle of the room. They leave you in the chair before exiting the room, your arms and legs free from restraints for the first time in years. You smile and pull yourself from the chair, your body struggling from the lack of use as it slowly returns to normal. You trip and run to the wall of equipment in the room, searching for a weapon to use. You pause in place when the sound of a gun cocking echoes in the room around you. You turn slowly, arms lifted in surrender to see Bucky standing there, gun leveled at you. You give him an ear splitting grin and move towards him, “Bucky!”

His voice is rough when he barks out, “Don’t move!”

You freeze, brows drawn together in confusion as you ask, “Bucky? What are you doing?”

“Get back into the chair.” He motions to the chair with the gun before aiming it at you again.

You ease towards the chair and drop down into it, your body frozen with shock. He bends down next to you and attaches the restraints on your arms and legs, tugging on them to make sure they’re securely in place. Betrayal is written all over your face as you ask, “Bucky, what the hell is this?”

Suddenly, a familiar voice echoes in the room, and your blood runs ice cold. “Ah, First Lieutenant, he is no longer the man you once knew.”

You tug against your restraints as Dr. Zola comes into view, a smile on his face. “What do you mean? What did you do to him!”

Dr. Zola smiles again and pulls a machine towards you, attaching wires to your body as he answers, “He is the new fist of Hydra.” You glance at Bucky, and for the first time you notice the glint of metal peeking out from beneath his left sleeve.

You shudder and ask, “What does that mean? What did you do?”

Dr. Zola lowers a metal helmet onto your head, adjusting wires as he answers, “Don’t worry, you will know soon enough.”

He pulls a red notebook from his lab coat, the front emblazoned with a star and a moon, surrounded by six smaller stars. With a smile, Dr. Zola adjusts his glasses and turns to the other doctors in the room. “Let’s begin.”

The doctors move into action. One approaches you and administers 3 injections, arms, chest, legs. A second moves to the machine the wires are attached to and flips a switch, the hum of electricity sounding in the room around you. The hairs on your arm stand on end as the doctor looks to Zola, waiting for the signal. WIth a nod, the switch is flipped, and white hot electricity pulses through you, blocking everything else out. You scream as every nerve ending in your body lights up, and through the haze of pain and screaming, you hear Zola yelling at you.

“You have become used to the булавочный укол of a needle. The injections of the serum entering your body and flowing through you. Your life as a nurse long gone.” (pinprick)

The doctor turns the dial of the machine higher, and you scream at the increase of pain. Zola yells to be heard over you, “The darker parts of you are now воспламененный by Hydra.” (ignited)

Another turn of the dial, another scream. “You are забытый. By the Captain, by the Sergeant, by your dead family, and soon…by history. Time will not remember you.” (forgotten)

The turn of the dial, another injection, your mind blanking on anything other than the pain and the words coming from Dr. Zola. “This is the рассвет of an era. You fell into a snowy rebirth, and into a new beginning.” (dawn)

The pain feels like it doubles, triples, as the dial is turned higher. “You will become a Judas. A lion in sheep’s clothing. One of the Тринадцать, yet always ready to act in Hydra’s favor.” (13)

Your screams echo in the room, and you thrash your head to the side, clawing at the restraints. Bucky stands nearby, watching with a passive expression. You don’t see the fear hidden deep in his eyes. “You are a рубин, a symbol of power. The color of blood as it spills from the victim of the hunter.” (ruby)

You feel your resolve weakening, the fight growing harder as the electricity intensifies. “You are part of Hydra now. Hydra’s will is your will. Your strength is Hydra’s strength. The Девять heads of Hydra, our 9 ideals, now your own. Fear, Hatred, Power, Pride, Cruelty, Immortality, Vision, Order, Unyielding.” (9)

3 more serums are injected into your body, mingling with your blood and altering who you are. Who you were. “You are a new кровная линия of Hydra. The first of your kind. The Soldier and the Hunter.” (bloodline)

Your body convulses with the pain, your mind now dull to it. Your thoughts nothing more than Zola’s speech. “You were a trio. One of Три. Your fate is no longer intertwined with theirs. There is only you. Only Hydra. Only the soldier.” (3)

The knob is turned, the machine hitting max power. Your mind is blank, wiped clean form the pain and the serum. Your eyes focus on Zola as he comes to a stop in front of you, eyes connected with yours. “Allow yourself to опуститься. It makes you who you are. You descended from a train car and now you’ll descend into your true purpose.” (descend)

The machine cuts off and you drop your head before lifting it slowly. Your eyes, devoid of any emotion, meet Zola’s. He grins and asks, “Good morning. Ready to comply?”

You feel your will settle into something new. Something colder and malleable. Your jaw sets and you reply, “Ready to comply.”

A grin splits his face, and the restraints are loosened from your arms and legs. “Good.” He motions for the soldier to come closer. “Soldier, this is the First Lieutenant. Or should I say, the Red Hunter.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> =WHAT DO YOU THINK?! If you want more info about the trigger words I chose or my thoughts on the trigger word process, I’d love to talk about it!
> 
> References: “How did the Hydra scientists brainwash Bucky into becoming the Winter Soldier” on Quora // “Faustus” on MCU wiki // Bucky’s trigger word scene in Siberia from Civil War on Youtube // Bucky’s “wipe him and start over” scene from Winter Soldier on Youtube


	13. xii. lion in sheep's clothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Description: They say we won. They didn’t say what we lost.
> 
> Warnings: Angst, torture, assassinations, murder, needles, blood, experimentation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi okay wow, so this chapter is kinds long and it’s ACTION PACKED! so, let me know what you think! also, there are lots of different languages in this. I try to be thorough and use multiple translators to get the most accurate phrase, but we know how that can be sometimes. so if you notice any corrections that need to be made, let me know!

_**November 21st, 1963** _

The life returns to your body slowly, limb by limb, as the feeling of ice melts away. Your legs stumble and drag behind you, your arms draped over the two Hydra soldiers as they guide you to the familiar chair. The ice seizes your heart again, coursing through your veins as you mumble, “No, please, no.”

You start to struggle against them, your mind flashing to the memories of that chair. That chair meant pain. It meant the static in your brain growing louder until you couldn’t think. Couldn’t  _ remember.  _ It meant the return of the Hunter, a fight to remain yourself, a fight that the Hunter always won. 

Your struggles are useless. Cryofreeze takes its toll on your body, making you weak. The soldiers toss you in the chair, strapping the restraints over your arms and legs. The straps rub uncomfortably into the fabric of your new uniform, an all black jumpsuit with a red moon emblazoned on the shoulder. You start to struggle as Dr. Zola comes into view, the red book in his hand, and the Soldier at his side. 

Your screams echo throughout the room as Dr. Zola reads your trigger words, the electroshock machine on full blast. Your screams stop about halfway through the words, the Hunter now climbing to the surface, pushing you down deeper, a prisoner in your own body. With the final word, Zola closes the book with a soft thud, before looking at you with a smile. “Доброе утро, охотник.” (Good morning, Hunter.)

The Russian falls from your tongue easily, “готовы подчиниться.” (Ready to comply.)

Zola nods and smiles, before gesturing to the Hydra soldiers to unstrap you from the chair. You rise to your feet, confident, menacing, the other soldiers scrambling out of your way. You approach Dr. Zola and come to a stop in front of him, awaiting orders. The Soldier comes and stands on your right side, before Zola addresses you both. “In 24 hours, you will be in Dallas, Texas for the American President’s campaign. He has been causing some of our friends some...issues, which they would like resolved.”

He hands you each a folder, before continuing, “A scapegoat is in place. An idealist, allied to Hydra’s cause. He will provide the necessary distraction for you to return here, unnoticed and unharmed.”

He flips open the folder in the Soldier’s hands and points at a picture of a young man in a suit. “Do not leave until this man,” he taps the photo twice, “is dead. Understood?”

You and the Soldier nod in tandem, the orders clear. Assassinate John F. Kennedy. And do not fail. 

-

_**November 22, 1963** _

You and the Soldier walk in stride through the crowds, dressed to blend in. The Soldier wears a suit, a hat planted firmly on his head. The sight of it tugs a buried memory in your mind, just out of reach. In his bag he carries a rifle, powerful enough to kill from a distance. A powder blue two piece covers your body, a similar rifle hidden underneath. Your outfit is covered by a coat, unnecessary in the Texas Winter, the weather unmatched to anything you’ve experienced in Siberia. Still, the coat hides the bulk of your weapon, a necessary precaution. 

Suddenly, the Soldier presses a finger into your palm, a quiet signal he developed over the last few missions. You turn to him and he nods towards a building ahead, and you know that is his destination. The Texas School Book Depository. You nod in understanding and he whispers to you in Italian, “Le piste del treno.” (The train tracks.)

You whisper back in French, “Oui. Fais attention.” (Yes. Be careful.)

He nods once and turns away from you, disappearing through the crowd in a matter of seconds. You turn and look back and forth, eyes scanning the area for your destination. They land on a grassy area just down the sidewalk, areas of the location hidden by trees. You make a beeline for it, squeezing past large families and young couples, everyone chattering with excitement about seeing the young president. A flash of blue catches your eye, the sun glinting of a perfect silver star. The sight punches your gut, an unfamiliar wave of nausea rolling through you. You hunch over slightly, feeling faint, pushing the memory that’s trying to escape back down. 

You see the blue and silver bobbing towards you, and a blond haired blue eyed police officer swims in your vision. “Ma’am, are you alright?”

You look up at him and force a smile onto your face. “Oui… I mean, yes. I’m fine, thank you.”

His grip on your shoulder is reassuring, and something about the blue of his eyes makes you feel safe. “Are you sure, ma’am? Do you need me to take you somewhere?”

The rifle digging into your skin brings you back to reality, and the Hunter takes charge once again. Your smile grows wider. “I really am fine, thank you. I suppose I'm just excited to see the President!”

The police officer flashes you a smile of perfect white teeth, and he squeezes your hand, the gesture forcing you to look into his bright blue eyes again. “It is an exciting time, ma’am. Just let me know if you need anything, I’ll be right over there.”

You follow his pointed finger down the sidewalk to the grassy area you were walking towards moments before. You swallow back bile and answer, “Thank you.”

You slide away from him quickly, pushing through the crowd with a little more force, ducking into an alley between two buildings to gulp down air. You think of the Soldier, his steely eyes and stoic demeanor, and you berate yourself for being weak.  _ The Hunter is in charge. You are not. _

You straighten up and move forward again, weaving between the buildings and approaching the grassy area from the backside. It is mostly empty, with only a few couples lounging on spread out blankets, giggling and in love. You settle into the shadows of the trees, feeling comfortable for the first time all day. You remove the rifle from beneath your clothes, adjusting the sight and preparing yourself for the mission. Once the President’s vehicle rounded the corner and filed down the street, you’d have less than a minute to fire a shot, pack up, and meet the Soldier at the train tracks. There was no room for error. 

You spotted the blue eyed police officer standing near one of the couples, smiling as the woman talked to him with excitement. Your mind flashed back to the Soldier, thinking about his hat from earlier. You knew him, you knew that much. But Dr. Zola and the others, they kept things quiet around you both. You trained together, sparred together, learned about new technology and practiced new languages together, you went on missions together,  _ killed  _ together. But you knew there was more. 

The energy of the crowd started to crescendo, and you knew it was time. You settle the rifle on its stand and move onto your belly, lowering your face until your cheek rests on the cool metal. You look through the scope, sweeping over the view of the crowd until it settles on the road ahead. Two motorcycles rounded the corner, flags fluttering behind them. You chamber a round and watch as the car slowly turns the corner, moving towards you at a snail’s pace. You take a deep breath, place your finger onto the trigger, and... _ fire _ .

You hear the sound of the Soldier’s gun a second before yours, and the crowd screams as he fires another round. You watch through the scope as the President slumps with the second hit. You stand and break down your weapon quickly, concealing it beneath your clothes as you start to back away from the scene. You watch as the officer from earlier starts running towards the crowd, until he turns back and looks at you, as if sensing your presence. You see his confusion as you take off running, weaving back between the buildings and further from the city. You hear his footsteps pounding on the pavement behind you, until you turn down a dead end alley, a chain link fence rising high above you. 

The officer comes to a stop at the entrance to the alley and yells, “Hands in the air!”

You lift your hands and he yells, “Turn around slowly!”

You turn, the blue eyed officer looking confused, eyes scanning your body for a weapon. His eyes connect with yours. “I thought I heard a shot from behind me...why did you run?”

The Hunter pushes down any compassion from earlier, letting venom drip from your voice instead. “потому что я его убила.”

His eyebrows draw together in confusion. “What? Are you speaking  _ Russian _ ?”

Lightening fast, you pull a handgun from your coat pocket, and fire one shot into the officer’s chest. He drops to the ground, gun clattering as it hits the concrete. You stalk towards him and kick it out of his reach, and look down at him as he struggles to breathe, blood filling in his chest. “I said I ran because I killed him. You should not have gotten involved in things that are much bigger than you.”

You step from the alley and gather your bearings before continuing towards the train tracks. Soon enough, the sidewalk turns to gravel, and train cars loom in the distance. Your eyes scan the area for the Soldier, and when you look up, you watch as he materializes from the shadows, a solemn expression on his face. “Ты опоздал.” (You’re late.)

“I ran into trouble, but it’s handled now. Is he dead?”

The Soldier nods. “Yes.”

“Then let’s go.”

-

_**December 26, 1990** _

Colonel Karpov stands in front of you, the Hunter already in control, awaiting orders. He sighs, the first sign of displeasure the man has ever shown you that didn’t involve shocks and beatings. Somehow, the sigh still puts you on edge, but your expression remains stoic.

“After your last two  _ failed _ missions, Hydra has wondered what to do with you.”

Your gaze lowers to the floor, Karpov’s disappointment weighing heavy on you. “Hydra has worked very closely with a KGB program called the Red Room Academy. It is a training facility for young girls, a place where they can become something more. Something bigger than themselves.” 

He hands you a folder, the files inside printed in various languages, with notes written in Russian all along the sides. “It has been harder to find and train recruits. They want only the strong, which makes the process tedious. You will find and recruit the next group of Red Room trainees.”

You nod, voice cracking from misuse as you ask, “How?”

Karpov’s answering grin would have made your skin crawl if you were anyone other than Hunter. 

-

The snowy street was dark, the old brick building looming in the distance. You run towards it, your footsteps muffled by the soft snow, before slipping inside a back door and up the stairs. You check the knob of every room on the floor, ensuring it is locked, before dumping the clear liquid on the floor outside every room. You repeat this process on the second and then first floor, connecting the trails until it is one long path. You pull the lighter from your pocket, silver with a small red moon, before flicking it on and dropping it into the trail. 

The fire ignites instantly, and you slip back outside, unscathed, as the flames lick their way up from the ground floor to the top. It doesn’t\ take long for the screaming to start, high pitched and pained, the thudding of small fists on closed doors echoing into the night. The residents of the street come out soon after, whispering and screaming for help. You stand there, in the middle of the pathway to the building, eyes trained on the door, waiting. A pillar of darkness against the bright orange destruction of the orphanage. Finally, as sirens wail in the distance, the door pushes open. A small girl of about six comes running out into the night, a head of red hair flowing behind her. She sees you first and runs right towards you, latching onto you as she collides with your legs. 

You look down at her, eyes tracing the tears that streak over her soot covered face, before lowering yourself down to eye level. “What’s your name?”

“Natalia.”

“Natalia, do you want me to take you to your new home?”

She nods and you stand and turn, walking back down the street, the fire casting your shadow long in front of you. You hear small feet crunch through the snow before a tiny hand is slipped into yours, fingers gripping yours tightly. You look down at her, her blue eyes trained on yours, and something flashes through your mind.  _ Reading the newspaper at a cafe, having kids. _

And you realize for the first time that monsters are not fictional creatures, they are pretty girls with red lips and dark secrets. They are lions in sheep's clothing, teeth always bared just below the surface. Because your handlers left you alone 50 miles west of Stalingrad. You had a gun in your belt, a knife in your boot, and a will to live that pushed you to leaving an orphanage as nothing more than a pile of ashes.

-

_**February 14, 1991** _

“Favoritism is not to be shown to the girls.”

You clench your jaw, raising your chin defiantly. “She has talent, potential. It’s not favoritism if she is the strongest one out there.”

A hand strikes your cheek, hard, a collection of rings catching on your lip. You stand there, unmoving, as blood drips into your mouth. “Karpov has assured me that you will  _ not _ be a problem. But if you are, we have shocking ways to remind you of your place.”

You repress a shudder, keeping your resolve in tact. “I apologize, Madame B. I know better.”

“Good. They need you in ballet.”

Understanding the dismissal, you nod and slip out the door.

-

July 4, 1991

You glare at the soldiers as they push you into the seat, settling a familiar helmet onto your head. They strap you in as Madame B approaches, a switch box in her hand. She smirks. “It seems that six months is far too long to keep you off ice. The time you spend in the world is making you more defiant.”

“Oh? I’m defiant because I am starting to remember that I was kidnapped and tortured?”

Madame B smiles as your screams of pain fill the room.

-

December 16, 1991

“Once we implemented daily mind wipes, she was better. Compliant. The trigger words worked best on her then.”

Karpov nods and he motions for you to stand near him. “And her training?”

“Impeccable. She has cultivated some of our best we’ve ever seen. It is a shame that she is being moved.”

Karpov’s voice is proud when he answers, “We will have much better for you soon.”

He orders two guards to grab you, guns trained on your body as they lead you back to your cryochamber. You pass two other guards in the hall, the Soldier’s arms draped around both of their necks. “Where is he going?”

The two soldiers laugh before one answers, “You are being replaced.”

-

_**November 3rd, 2013** _

Baron von Strucker walks along the rows of tables, each overflowing with weapons for Hydra, the result of experiments with the Scepter. He turns to Doctor List, who is standing near the door, watching. “Doctor, I believe it is time to take our experiments to the next level.”

List, confused, walks closer. “What do you mean?”

“We already know what the Scepter can do for weapons,” Strucker gestures to the table of weapons, “but, what can it do on people?”

List balks, “ _ People _ ? Where are we going to find people willing to sign up for experimentation?”

Strucker turns to the doctor with a laugh. “ _ Willing _ ? Who said anything about willing?” He nods for the doctor to follow him from the room and down a long hallway. They step into a smaller room, the soft whir of machinery disrupting the quiet. “How soon can you be ready for experimentation?”

“A few hours.”

Strucker turns to him with a smile. “Good, because I have your first subject already lined up. And she’s always compliant.”

-

Your eyes flutter open, the soft beep of a heart rate monitor puncturing the air in staccato beats. Your eyes dart around the room, trying to make sense of the unfamiliar surroundings. Your arms and legs are restrained to a chair, and there are men in lab coats running around and yelling instructions at each other. A flash of a memory tries to surface, but the Hunter pushes it back down, burying it deep within. A man in a lab coat and tie approaches you, a needle in his hand. He greets you in German. “Guten morgen, Jäger.” (Good morning, Hunter.)

The response flows from your tongue, second nature. “Bereiten Sie vor, um einzuwilligen.” (Ready to comply.)

The doctor smiles. “Welcome to Sokovia. I am Doctor List, and we are going to run a few tests on you.” He steps towards you and holds out the needle, and you subconsciously lean away from him. “Nuh, uh, uh.” 

He yells over his shoulder, “Schmidt!”

Seconds later a younger doctor approaches, a metal collar in his hand. Dr. List takes it from him and attaches it around your neck with a resounding click. “There. Hopefully the shock collar won’t be necessary, just a precaution. Now where were we?”

“Ah, yes.” He leans forward again and presses the needle into a vein in your arm as he explains, “Inhuman DNA. Hopefully it will strengthen your own.”

You eye him warily. “For what?”

He smiles, “You will see soon enough.”

Behind him, Schmidt wheels in a cart with a large rod on it, situated within a machine that looks like a barrel. The rod is gold and silver, and it curves near the end, where a blue stone is glowing. The doctor checks the connections of the equipment to your body before backing away. He adjusts the cart until the end of the staff is pointing at you through the barrel, and the room falls silent. “Commencing test in 3...2...1…”

There is a flash of blue before all you see is darkness.

-

**_November 5th, 2013_ **

Dr. List and Baron von Strucker are in the middle of a discussion when Schmidt comes running into the room. Strucker looks at him with a glare. “Yes?”

“The Hunter…” He takes in a sharp breath, “She...you have to see this!”

List and Strucker exchange a look before brushing past the young doctor and stalking down the hall, entering the small room where they replaced your cryo chamber with a reinforced cell. The two men approach the cell and look at your sleeping form in awe. You are floating in the air, surrounded by the other equipment in the cell, a red haze of energy around you.

Strucker turns to Dr. List with a smile. “Doctor, congratulations. You have just created Hydra’s first witch.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MCU wiki: Dr. List, Baron von Strucker, Red Room Academy  
> JFK documentary: Frame 313-The JFK Assassination Theory


	14. xiii. age of miracles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Description: And there’s nothing more terrifying than a miracle.
> 
> Warnings: Same as usual. Angst, torture, mind control, war, fighting, blood, cursing, general sadness, death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi I wrote the reader into a whole ass movie so it’s a thicc one. Let me know what you think!

##  **Decrypted messages, May 25th, 2014**

BW: About what you asked me to look up…

CA: Yeah?

BW: What about her?

CA: Her? Who do you mean?

BW: The Red Hunter.

CA: How do you…was she in the file dump?

BW: Yes. And I encrypted both of their files. It won’t keep people out forever, but maybe it will keep them out long enough.

CA: Is she alive?

BW: I don’t know.

CA: I want everything you have on her too.

-

## May 21st, 2015

You jog down the hallway quickly, the sound of an alarm blaring overhead. Explosions ring out as you round a corner and weave through the lab toward a familiar alcove, smiling as you spot the twins. They offer you a smile in return as you approach. “What’s happening?”

You shrug, “I don’t know. I was in the middle of being wiped when everyone ran off and left me in there alone.”

Wanda winces at the mention of the electroshock therapy, but says nothing. You see her and Pietro exchange a worried glance before a message sounds over the speakers. “Report to your stations immediately. This is not a drill, we are under attack.”

You watch as the twins hands clasp onto each other’s, and Wanda reaches over to lace her fingers through yours. You look down at your joined hands and smile at the gesture, before a harsh shock leaves the collar and enters your neck. You drop her hand and look over to see Strucker holding the switch box, a glare on his face. He crooks his finger in a come here motion, and you scurry closer to him. “At my side, at all times. Understood?”

“Yes.” Your gaze drops to your feet and you avoid the twins questioning gaze.

Dr. List joins you and Strucker, and they begin speaking quickly. “They have to be after the scepter. Everything we’ve accomplished, on the verge of our greatest breakthrough…”

“Then let’s show them what we’ve accomplished.” List glances at the twins quickly before his eyes land on you, “Send out the Twins and the Hunter.”

Strucker is shaking his head before List finishes his sentence, “It’s too soon.”

“It’s what they signed up for!”

“My men, can hold them.” Strucker glances at the twins before turning away from the Doctor to watch the video feed of the battle. He addresses the room, “We will not yield! The Americans send their circus freaks to test us. We will send them back, in bags. NO SURRENDER!”

The room echoes the sentiment, “No surrender!”

Strucker turns back to the doctor, fear written into the lines of his face. He whispers lowly, “I am going to surrender. You delete everything.”

List glances over at the now empty alcone and mutters, “The twins.”

Strucker responds, “They are not ready to take on-”

“No, no, I mean.” He points to the alcove. “The twins…”

Strucker glances at the now empty alcove and gestures at you to follow him. You scurry behind him as he runs from the room and down the stairs quickly, anxiety evident in his movements. You are right on his heels as you follow him down one of the long hallways, and he turns around and snaps at you. “Keep your distance. I don’t want you seen by any of the Avengers.” He holds up the switch to your collar, “Stay in the shadows, but keep me safe.”

You nod and let him run ahead, keeping the distance between you as you follow. Strucker scurries up a set of stairs and you watch as he pauses at the top, the thump of a body sounding on the ground above you. You slink into the shadows before ducking into one of the hidden passageways, using it to quietly climb the stairs. When you reach the top and round the corner of the dark hallway, the red energy of your abilities is already swirling around your hands. You creep up behind the tall, blond haired man, his shield adorned with a large star. A memory pulls within you, trying to take you down a path, before it is cut off by a hard glance from Strucker and a quick shock to the neck.

You creep closer and manipulate the energy at your side as the man is speaking, “I’ll put it right under illegal experimentation. How many are there?”

As soon as he gets the last word out you close the space between you, using your hands to push the energy towards him and knock him down the stairs. You glance at Strucker, who motions for you to go, before backing towards the door, eyes locked on the man. He looks up and his eyes connect with yours, a strange look passing over his face. His familiarity hits you hard and you back through the doorway, using your abilities to barricade the door as he runs up the stairs towards you. You take off running through the building, allowing yourself to be open to the energy of the air in an attempt to find Wanda. You sense her energy on the other side of the base and you run towards it, meeting up with Pietro along the way. He follows you to one of the labs where you enter into a hidden entrance and down a hall into one of the experimental labs. You see Wanda hidden in the shadows, a dazed look on her face. She turns to face you both fully as you approach, before she holds her hand up, preventing either of you from approaching the dark haired man in the center of the room.

Pietro mutters, “We’re just gonna let them take it?”

Wanda replies with a large smile as the dark haired man grabs the scepter and hurries out of the lab. Once he’s gone, you turn to Wanda. “Wanda, did you…?”

The smile drops from her face at your disapproving look. “I know you don’t like to play with their minds, but that was Tony Stark. He would have killed all three of us.”

You nod once and mutter, “I have to go find Strucker.”

She grabs your wrist, and you turn at look at her. “Why? We can leave now. Accomplish our goals they way we always talked about.”

You shake your head. “I can’t. I belong to Hydra. They’d never stop looking for me.”

You turn and leave quickly, weaving back through the base until you stop at the place you last saw Strucker, his monocle cracked and lying on the ground. You sigh before moving into one of the data rooms, and one quick search of the hidden parts of the internet reveal intake papers for Strucker at a NATO underground prison in Brussels.

-

## Updated audio from the Captain America exhibit at the Smithsonian

“…affectionately known as Red, were the only Howling Commandos to give their life in service of their country.”

-

## May 22nd, 2014

Your boots softly thud on the stone floors of the prison, the sound echoing off the walls quietly. Your gun is pulled and ready at your side, but the prison is empty. No guards, no prisoners, no personnel. You travel through the halls looking for Strucker’s cell, and when you finally round the corner and find it, your jaw drops in shock.

It takes only a second for you to lift your gun and aim at the robotic body standing there, its fingers tracing over a series of letters onto the prison wall. Your stomach drops at a sickening pace when you realize it’s written in blood. The robot turns to you then, the metal of his body echoing in the space. “I’ve been waiting for you.”

Your finger rests on the trigger as you ask, “Who are you?”

“My name is Ultron. And you are the Red Hunter. Controlled by Strucker, an asset for Hydra.”

You eye him warily, “How do you know that?”

He ignores your question and instead holds up a familiar switch box, and your skin prickles at the thought of the electricity. “And this is yours?”

You nod, silent. Watching in surprise as he crushes the box in his hand, letting the pieces clatter to the floor. You lower your gun and look at him in confusion. “What do you want?”

He walks closer to you now and you stand your ground, unafraid. “Hydra made you into a guard dog. A weapon that could be used to keep the Avengers from destroying them. But what if you destroyed the Avengers first? There would be no need for you. No need for Hydra. You could have your freedom.”

Your brows knit together in bewilderment, and you test the word out. “Freedom.”

You glance around Ultron at the blood on the wall before looking back at him. “And that’s what you’re trying to do?”

“Yes.”

You muse, “And when the Avengers are destroyed, I can go free?”

“Yes.”

You nod, tucking your gun into your waistband, before looking up at him. “Then I’ll help you. And I know where to find two more people that want to destroy the Avengers more than anyone.”

He walks past you and begins moving down the hall, replying over his shoulder, “Then let’s go find them.”

You start to follow him, only to pause when you remember the weight of the collar around your neck. For the first time in two years, you release the latch, dropping the collar to the ground with an echoing thud.

-

## A clip from Fox News

“Tonight, we will be joined by a Former CIA Analyst, Joseph Cherry, who will discuss how the fall of Shield, and Hydra, has affected our national security…”

-

## May 22, 2015

Wanda’s hand rests in yours as you use it to practically pull her to the church. She tugs you back, stopping you in place, and you turn to look at her in confusion. “What?”

Her accent is thick when she replies, “Where are we going?”

“To the church. To meet Ultron.”

“If this is a waste of our time…”

You shake your head. “It’s not. He wants to destroy the Avengers.”

She nods her head once and you glance at Pietro, who just shrugs. You continue leading them to the church, ushering them in first once you reach the entrance. You hang back as they walk forward, Wanda’s voice bouncing off the ruined church walls. “Talk, and if you are wasting our time-”

Ultron cuts her off, “Did you know this church is in the exact center of the city? The elders decreed it so that everyone could be equally close to God.”

Wanda moves closer to him, her energy thick in the air. Ultron finishes, “I like that. The geometry of belief.”

Her focus in intense as she nears him, and he muses, “You’re wondering why you can’t look inside my head.”

“Sometimes it’s hard.” She smirks, “But sooner or later, every man shows himself.”

“Oh, I’m sure they do.” Ultron stands and removes the blanket from his shoulders, exposing his robotic body to the twins. Wanda steps backwards, until she’s closer to Pietro, and they both turn to look at you in shock. “But you needed something more than a man. That’s why you let Stark take the scepter.”

“I didn’t expect…” She trails off, before starting again. “I saw Stark’s fear. I knew it would control him. Make him self destruct.”

“Everyone creates the thing they dread. Men of peace create engines of war. Invaders create Avengers. People create…smaller people? Uh…children!” Ultron laughs, “I lost the word there. Children, designed to supplant them, to help them end.”

Wanda cocks her head to the side, “Is that why you’ve come? To end the Avengers?”

Ultron turns on her, “I’ve come to save the world.” He walks away, “But also, yeah.”

Ultron exits the church, and you and the twins look at each other, wondering what to do, before all collectively running after him, following him through the city and back to Strucker’s base. He leads you back down to the experimental lab that Stark was in earlier as he tells you, “We’ll move out right away. This is a start, but there’s something we need to begin the real work.”

You all round the corner and see a small army of robots working in the lab. You look at the twins, shocked, before asking, “All of these are…?”

“Me.” Ultron moves to a set of chains and tugs them as he continues, “I have what the Avengers never will. Harmony. They are discordant. Disconnected. Stark’s already got them turning on each other. And when the two of you get inside their heads…”

Pietro moves closer to Ultron, unimpressed. “Everyone’s plan is not to kill them.”

“And make them martyrs? You need patience. Need to see the big picture.”

Pietro shifts closer to Wanda. “I don’t see the big picture. I have a little picture. I take it out and look at it. Every day.”

“You lost your parents in the bombings. I’ve seen the records.”

Pietro snaps, “The records are not the picture.”

“Pietro.” Wanda’s voice is a warning, but she is cut off by Ultron.

“No, please.”

Pietro turns to Wanda and replies, “We were 10 years old. Having dinner, the four of us. When the first shell hits, two floors below, it makes a hole in the floor. It’s big. Our parents go in, and the whole building starts to come apart. I grab her, roll under the bed, and the second shell hits. But, it doesn’t go off. It just…sits there in the rubble. Three feet from our faces. On on the side of the shell is painted one word.”

Wanda cuts in. “Stark.”

“We were trapped for two days.”

Wanda’s voice is thick with emotion when she explains, “Every effort to save us, every shift in the bricks, I think, ‘This will set it off.’ We wait for two days for Tony Stark to kill us.”

“I know what they are.”

Ultron answers, “I wondered why you two were one of the few to survive Strucker’s experiments. Now I don’t. We will make it right.” He look at Pietro as he walks closer to you and Wanda. “You and I can hurt them.”

His hand lifts to stroke the air between your faces. “But they will tear them apart from the inside.”

-

## InfoDump: How Hydra May Have Been Responsible for JFK’s Death

Samuel Ross: “I was 23 when I was shot in an alleyway in Dallas, Texas. For years I tried to tell my superiors about the pretty Russian girl with the quick draw, but no one believed me. Until last year, that is. It was the Red Hunter, and the Winter Soldier, I’m sure of it.”

-

## May 23rd, 2015

You follow Wanda and Pietro through the ship, weaving through the shadows quickly and quietly. Wanda turns and nods to you and you break off from the group, climbing through the ship until you reach the generators that power it. Your energy glows red around your hands, and you guide it to the generators, smiling in success as everything powers down and the ship goes dark. You can hear the crew erupt into chaos and confusion seconds later as you climb through the ship again, to find the twins.

You find them with Ultron and three of the Avengers, and you watch from the shadows as everyone begins arguing. A man with long, blond hair mutters, “No one has to break anything.”

Ultron quips back, “Clearly you’ve never made an omelette.”

“He beat me by one second.”

You feel Pietro’s frustration growing as he interrupts, “Ah, yes. He’s funny. Mr. Stark. It’s what? Comfortable?” You watch him glance down at the weapons below. “Like old times?”

Tony responds, “This was never my life.”

The familiar man, the one you attacked at the base, steps closer, eyes trained on the twins. “You two can still walk away from this.”

Venom drips from Wanda’s voice when she replies, “Oh, we will.”

“I know you’ve suffered.”

Ultron scoffs and interjects, “Captain America. God’s righteous man. Pretending you could live without a war.”

Captain America.

Something within you shifts, the force of it knocking you back and forcing you to lean against the wall. You feel buried memories shifting, trying to surface, and you shake your head in an attempt to force them back down. You hear the Hunter’s voice screaming at you. I AM IN CONTROL. NOT YOU. NEVER YOU.

You hear the sounds of fighting as you back away, trying to gain your composure as you scurry down the stairs, running into Ultron and Wanda. Ultron addresses you both. “It’s time for some mind games.”

You look at Wanda and follow her down a hall, before grabbing her wrist, turning her to you. “Captain America. He’s mine. I’ll do it.”

She looks at you hard, skepticism on her face. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

She nods once and you let her go, watching as she runs off to mess with the others. You hurry through the ship looking for him, and you’re halfway down a set of stairs when you see Pietro knock him into a pile of scraps near the base of the stairs. You scurry down them and project your energy, watching as it dissipates around him. He winces and you hear Pietro run off, and seconds later, you feel yourself pulled into Captain America’s mind.

_A dark haired soldier, a man in uniform, smiling. A blue coat. He’s spinning a girl, her dress swirls around her, lips painted red. They turn to look at him, wide grins plastered on their faces. The Soldier. Her face. **Your** face._

You feel yourself collapse back onto the stairs, shocked.

_A train car, snow swirling around it. You, again, inching towards the Soldier. Two screams echoing as you both fall. Forgotten._

You grab your chest, choking on the weight of memories that you can’t see. Can’t grasp. They tug at you, trying to get your attention.

The Captain, the Soldier, you. Their hands intertwined with yours. Your voice floating around them. “We can go home.”

He turns to face the band, and when he looks back, you are gone. The Soldier is gone. He is alone.

You come back to reality with a gasp. You feel a pressure on your hand and find his hand clutching yours for dear life. You choke back tears, confused, before prying your hand from his grip. He looks dazed, and you watch as he pulls himself to his feet, stumbling away from you. You let out one, broken sob as he goes, your mind still heavy with the haze of his memories. His fears.

You pull yourself to your feet, swallowing the emotion and straightening your back. You are a hunter. Hunter’s don’t mourn for their prey.

-

## Spira: The Nation’s leading web forum for conspiracy theories

markm92: some files are still encrypted over a year later

markm92: why don’t people think that’s weird? what are they hiding from us?

jerseyboi: sheeple

mammaspira: it’s probably about RH and WS. we know they killed JFK. we can nearly prove it.

markm92: i bet those files would prove it

jerseyboi: i know some hackers, maybe one of them can crack it

-

## May 24th, 2015

As soon as you land at Dr. Cho’s lab in South Korea, Wanda turns to her brother. “Pietro, watch Ultron. Keep an eye on what he’s doing.”

Pietro nods and runs off, leaving Wanda to drag you to an abandoned part of the lab, in search of somewhere quiet to talk. Your eyes are trained on your feet, and she moves in front of you and lifts your chin as she asks, “What is it? What did you see?”

“I knew him Wanda.”

“Like you’ve had to fight him before?”

You shake your head. “No, like I knew him. Loved him.”

She balks slightly. “How?”

Your eyes hold hers. “I know that you and Pietro chose to join Hydra. For Sokovia.” She nods. “I didn’t.”

Her eyes widen. “I can only remember…it’s bits and pieces. I think I saw part of it in his vision. But I know I didn’t choose this.”

“What if you have to kill him?”

Your expression is serious when you answer, “I don’t know if I can.”

She nods and her voice is softer, “Then you won’t have to.” She grabs your hand. “Let’s go find Pietro.”

You follow her through the lab, the weight of unseen memories still heavy in your chest. They are just out of reach, your fingertips brushing them, but they slip away like water. You find Pietro outside the lab, the three of you entering in as Dr. Cho says, “We’re uploading your cerebral matrix now.”

Wanda’s gaze is trained on the case that Ultron’s new body resides in, and she mutters, “I can read him. He’s dreaming.”

“I wouldn’t call it dreams. It’s Ultron’s base consciousness. Informational noise. Soon…”

Ultron cuts her off, “How soon? I’m not being pushy.”

You stop listening as Wanda turns back to you, motioning for you to come closer. She presses her left palm to yours, before placing her right palm on the glass case. You feel the swirl of energy around you both as she reads him, pushing everything she reads into your head, aware that you don’t have the energy to do it.

She cries out and pulls away, but not before you catch a glimpse of the destruction of Earth. Pietro runs to her, instantly pulling her into a hug, making sure she’s alright. You move close to them as Ultron stands, his presence scaring you for the first time since you met him. Wanda turns to him, her voice shaking. “How could you?”

“How could I what?”

She leans closer to Pietro and answers, “You said we would destroy the Avengers, make a better world!”

“It will be better.”

Disbelief graces her features, “When everyone is dead?”

“That is not…The human race will have every opportunity to improve.”

Pietro turns to him with a look of disbelief and disgust. “And if they don’t?”

“Ask Noah.”

“You’re a madman.” The words slip out of your mouth before you can stop them, and Ultron turns to you.

“There were more than a dozen extinction level events before even the dinosaurs got theirs. When the Earth starts to settle, God throws a stone at it. And believe me, he’s winding up. We have to evolve. There’s no room for the weak.”

You glance at Wanda and she nods towards Dr. Cho, and you discreetly produce enough energy to end her controlled state. Pietro asks, “And who decides who’s weak?”

“Life. Life always decides.”

Pietro walks closer to Wanda and pulls her into a hug, and you watch as Ultron senses something. “There’s incoming. The Quinjet. We have to move.”

“That’s not a problem.” Dr. Cho pauses and the upload process, which alerts Ultron to her uncompromised state. Ultron fires a blast at her, knocking her to the ground. Pietro grabs Wanda and then you, and takes off running, pulling you both with him as he uses his abilities to escape.

He stops when he gets you both well within the city, far enough away from the lab that you should all be safe. You stand there for a minute, lost, before you ask, “What now?”

A breaking news alert sounds on the small TV behind Pietro, and you watch as Ultron fights Captain America on top of a large truck. You all exchange quiet glances, simultaneously agreeing on what to do.

Pietro turns in his spot in the market, trying to gather his bearings. He gestures to the train tracks, “This way.”

He grabs you both and runs through the market and then through the city, weaving in and out of stalls, people, and cars, before you reach the train. He leaves you both two cars back from Ultron and Captain America, and you watch as he runs forward and punches Ultron out of the way, creating distance between him and the Captain. Wanda runs through the train cars quickly and you follow, watching as she creates a barrier around him as Ultron tries to attack again. Ultron turns to find you both standing there, and he mutters, “Please. Don’t do this.”

Wanda snaps back, “What choice do we have?”

He turns and blasts a hole from the front of the train, killing the conductor, as Wanda puts a protective shield around Pietro. Your eyes are locked with the Captain’s the entire time, and you are caught off guard when Ultron senses the connection and hits you with a blast that catches your side and knocks you back into the train wall.

You hear the Captain yell out an unfamiliar name as he runs towards you, yelling at his Avengers teammates through his comms. He crouches down next to you and locks his eyes with yours, “Are you okay?”

“The conductor.”

His gloved fingers graze over your side as he asks, “What?”

“The tracks, they end. Ultron was projecting his thoughts.”

He looks at you in confusion, but stands and runs to the front of the train, looking at the tracks in horror. He runs back and turns to Pietro as the train derails. “Civilians in our path.”

Pietro runs from the train and the Captain turns to Wanda. “Can you stop this thing?”

You watch as the energy swirls around her, projecting from her hands and to the train wheels below, causing friction. The energy is thick in the air and you can feel her struggling before she lets out a groan. You pull yourself to your feet and move next to her, watching as the magic swirls around you and moves from your hands to below the train. You both cry out as the train finally comes to a stop, the passengers evacuating as quickly as possible. Wanda runs from the train to check on Pietro and you collapse to your knees, exhausted. You look up to see the Captain giving you a strange look, the red energy still flowing around you, controlled by your emotions.

You take a deep breath and control it, everything going still as he holds out a hand to pull you to your feet. You stand and he starts to help you from the train before Pietro runs over and guides your uninjured arm around his neck, pulling you away from the Captain. Wanda turns to him as soon as he approaches. “The Cradle. Did you get it?”

“Stark will take care of it.”

Pietro lowers you both to a set of crates, giving you both a second to rest. Wanda looks at the Captain in disbelief. “No, he won’t.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about. Stark’s not crazy.”

Wanda’s voice starts to rise, “He will do anything to make things right. Ultron can’t tell the difference between saving the world and destroying it. Where do you think he gets that?”

-

## Spokesperson for the White House, May 24th, 2014:

“The American people do not need to worry. Our national security is safe and it’s in good hands. The American Justice system is committed to finding those responsible for this careless breach, and bringing them to justice.”

-

## May 24th, 2015

The Captain leads you through the building, Wanda and Pietro serving as a barrier between him and you. He storms into a lab, Stark and Banner both standing inside. “I’m gonna say this once.”

“How about nonce?”

The Captain’s voice is loud, commanding. “Shut it down!”

“Nope, not gonna happen.”

He’s getting angry, voice still rising. “You don’t know what you’re doing.”

Banner retorts, “And you do? She’s not in your head?” He gestures to Wanda, and you all instinctively press closer together. Wanda responds, “I know you’re angry.”

His voice is dripping with calm anger. “Oh, we’re way past that. I could choke the life out of you and never change a shade.”

The Captain stalks forward, putting himself between the group and Banner. “Banner, after everything that’s happened…”

Tony cuts him off, “It’s nothing compared to what’s coming!”

Your voice rises at him in response, “You don’t know what in there!”

Pietro takes off from beside you, papers fluttering around the lab as he comes to a stop beside Banner, power cord in hand. He tosses it as he says, “No, no. Go on. You were saying?”

You hear the sound of gunshot and watch as Pietro falls through the glass he’s standing on, into a room below. You and Wanda both surge forward, yelling, “Pietro!”

A series of beeps and alarms sounds before Tony starts moving towards the monitors. “I’m rerouting the upload.”

The Captain tosses his shield, and he is blasted away by Tony seconds later. Wanda starts to manipulate the energy when Banner grabs her from behind and says, “Go ahead, piss me off.”

You gather energy instead, letting it swirl around you as you hold a hand up at each of them, Banner and Tony. “Let her go. And don’t touch him.”

Tony lets out an incredulous laugh, “There’s two of them?”

He aims a shot at you and you deflect it with a shield of energy, and the Captain’s voice is a warning behind you. “Tony, don’t hurt her.”

They run at each other instead, colliding in a burst of energy, and you watch as Wanda pushes the energy through her and at Banner, pushing him off of her. You use your energy to knock the gun from the man that shot the glass from beneath Pietro, and before anything else can happen, the long haired man comes bursting in the room. He jumps onto the Cradle, lightning flashing all around him as he directs to towards the Cradle, powering it up. There is an explosion, and it sends everyone flying to opposite ends of the lab, and you scramble to your feet to get closer to Wanda. You all watch as a red and silver man rises from the Cradle, looking around in confusion. It flies at the long haired man, who tosses it off, and you all run through the room into the adjacent one to find it looking outside.

Pietro comes running up as it turns, “I’m sorry. That was…odd. Thank you.”

The Captain speaks, “Thor. You’ve helped create this?”

“I’ve had a vision. A whirlpool that sucks in all hope of life, and at its center, is that.” Thor points to the gem in its head.

Banner asks, “What? The gem?”

“It’s the Mind Stone. One of the six Infinity Stones. The greatest power in the Universe, unparalleled in its destructive capabilities.”

“Then why would you bring-”

“Because Stark is right.”

Banner mutters, “Oh, it’s definitely the end times.”

“The Avengers cannot defeat Ultron.”

“Not alone.”

“Why does your Vision sound like Jarvis?” The Captain watches it carefully.

Stark walks closer to it, gaze locked, “We configured Jarvis’s matrix to create something new.”

Wanda stalks towards it, angry. “I looked in your head and saw annihilation.”

“Look again.” After a silent pause, he grabs Thor’s hammer. “There may be no way for me to make you trust me. But we need to go.”

The Avengers stand in stunned silence before the Captain mutters, “Three minutes. Get what you need.”

Everyone walks off, leaving you and the twins with the Captain. “Follow me.”

He leads you all to a large locker room and gestures to the belongings. “We have extra clothes and equipment down here, take what you need.”

Pietro and Wanda walk into the locker room and you follow, and the Captain walks off, leaving you be. Pietro opens the lockers and begins pulling shirts, pants, and shoes out for himself, and you thumb through the various shirts. Yours was torn, a result of Ultron’s weapon, but the wound was already healing. Hydra ensured that your wounds would always heal quickly; you never questioned how.

Your eye lands on a simple red shirt, logoless and plain, save for a small Avengers logo on the shoulder of each sleeve. You smile and grab it, as well as the leather jacket beside it, before pulling your ripped shirt over your head and tossing it to the side. You were comfortable changing in front of the twins, as it happened at Strucker’s base frequently, but as you pulled the shirt over your head, you sensed another set of eyes on you. As your head emerges from the top, you see the Captain standing near the door, half in the shadows, his eyes trained on the raised moon scar near your hip. His eyes flick to yours before quickly averting, embarrassed that he was caught.

_Dr. Zola stands in front of you, a branding iron in his hand, the small moon glowing red hot with heat. You struggle against the restraints on your limbs, screaming around the gag in your mouth. The Soldier stands nearby; face passive, but eyes anxious. “Please, no, no!”_

_Zola smiles as he moves closer, gesturing for the soldiers to lift your shirt and expose your left side. You scream as he presses the brand into your skin, the flesh burning as it leaves its permanent mark._

You pull the jacket on and move closer to him, and as you get closer he whispers, “I have something for you. If you want it.”

You nod and he motions for you to follow him as he walks away. Wanda flashes you a look and you shrug before turning to join him. He leads you through the building and into a spacious room, barren of any decor, other than the necessities. He makes a beeline for the desk where he grabs a plain black frame and pulls the picture from inside. He looks down at it, a smile on his face, before he hands it to you. You take it warily, before looking down at it, a trio of smiling faces looking back at you. “Our first day of senior year.”

You brush a finger over the picture and whisper, “The Soldier?”

You look up at him, and you see a pained expression cross his face before he smiles. “Bucky.”

“Bucky.”

“You know the Winter Soldier?”

You nod. “Yes. We trained together. Completed a few missions.”

You can tell he wants to pry farther, but he’s nervous. You hold up the picture and whisper, “Can I have this?”

“Yes. Of course, yes.”

You start to back away, “Thank you, Captain.”

He winces, looks down at his shoes. “Steve. Call me Steve.”

You nod, before pausing in the door. “Steve?”

He looks up, “Yeah?”

“I’m sorry for messing with your head. I normally…I don’t do that.”

He smiles, and it pulls a string somewhere in your heart. “I’m not.”

You back out of the room and scramble down the stairs to find Wanda and Pietro.

-

## Steve Rogers in Love: A Biography of his Romantic Escapades, from the War and Beyond

**Chapter 3: But were they a trio?**

Many have long since theorized about Rogers close knit bond with his best friend, Bucky, and his girlfriend at the time. There has been speculation from those who fought on the battlefield with them that there was something more going on, hidden by their close friend, Margaret Carter. A front end clerk from a certain popular hotel at the time, recalls seeing the three enter the hotel one evening, sometime back in 1944. He mentioned a weird energy around the trio, punctuated by longing looks and fidgety hands…

-

## May 25th, 2015

You and Wanda stand back to back near Sokovia’s town square, your energies swirling around and intertwining, floating into the homes of the residents. You are uneasy about messing with their heads, but it’s to help them. Save them. They file from their homes and into the street, following each other down to the border, away from any danger.

It’s not long before you hear the crunching of asphalt and screams of terror. The explosions shake the city seconds later as Ultron’s army flies overhead, targeting anyone on the ground. You glance to your left as the people begin running towards you, panicked. You watch as a group of robots files towards the bridge, and you turn back to Wanda. “Wanda, the bridge!”

She turns towards it and sees the group, and you both take of running towards the bridge, pushing through people and yelling as you go. “Get off the bridge!”

“Go! Get out of here!”

As the bridge clears, one of the robots sends a blast towards the Sokovians behind you, and you manifest a shield of energy before it can hit them. Wanda comes over and expands the shield, helping you hold it as she turns and yells, “Run!”

A rogue blast hits her and knocks her to the ground, and you drop the shield and run to her. “Wanda! Are you okay?”

She takes your outstretched hand and nods as you pull her to her feet. “I’m fine.”

You are standing there, Clint nearby, when you hear an ominous rumble. You all watch in shock and horror as the ground around you begins to split, lifting into the sky. You and Wanda crouch near a car as Ultron’s robots deliver his message. “Do you see the beauty of it? The inevitability? You rise, only to fall. You, Avengers, you are my meteor. My swift and terrible sword and the Earth will crack with the weight of your failure. Purge me from your computers; turn my own flesh against me.”

Hawkeye shoots the nearest robot from the sky, tired of the speech. Another quickly replaces it. “It means nothing! When the dust settles, the only thing living in this world, will be metal.”

You turn to Wanda, fear written on both of your faces. Guilt settles heavy within you knowing that you are partially responsible for this. You enabled Ultron’s destruction of Sokovia, and possibly, the world. Suddenly, you watch as hundreds of robots fly overhead, towards the direction of the main bridge. Tony’s voice crackles through the comms a second later, “Cap, you got incoming.”

You can hear the suppressed groan in Steve’s voice when he replies, “Incoming already came.” He pauses before continuing, “Stark, you worry about bringing the city back down safely. The rest of us have one job, tear these things apart. You get hurt, hurt them back. You get killed, walk it off.”

You turn to Wanda, and she can you battling between two decisions. She gives you a smile and squeezes your hand. “Go.”

“Are you sure?”

She tips her head towards Clint. “I’m okay. And you know Pietro will come if I need him.”

You squeeze her hand back before dropping it. “I’ll be here. If you need me.”

“I know.”

You turn and start running towards the main bridge, before Pietro appears at your side with a smirk. “Need a lift?”

“Please.”

He lifts you in a fireman’s carry and takes off, stopping seconds later in the midst of chaos, the main bridge just down the street. You smile as he plants you on your feet. “Thanks.”

He winks at you before running off, and you search the chaos for Steve, eyes catching on his shield near the bridge. You run closer to him, watching as he runs ahead of you, towards the fallen bridge. You hear a scream of terror and watch as two cars slide towards the edge. You push yourself faster, arriving as Steve grabs the bumper of the red car, only for the car to fall over the edge, the woman still inside. The other car falls over the edge after it, and you reach the edge and peer over, before gathering your energy around you. Thor flies to the red car as you push your energy to the green car, straining slightly as you hurtle back up through the air, and onto the safety of the bridge. The men all fall out of the car, groaning and puking, as Ultron says, “You can’t save them all. You’ll never-”

Steve tosses the robot over the edge, effectively cutting him off as he yells, “Never what? You didn’t finish!”

Steve moves closer to you as Thor lands on the bridge, and you follow them into the chaos of the fighting. Ultron’s army swarms on you instantly. As soon as 3 robots are destroyed, 5 more take their place. You tear them apart with your energy, using the pieces to crash into the other robots, taking them down. Your energy swirls around you and you push it to the ground, watching as a group of the robots crash into pieces on the concrete. Steve’s shield flies through the air and lodges into a van beside you, and you turn to look at him, only to see his back to you as he fights off two others.

You pull the shield from the van, turning instantly to block a shot from one of the robots, before swinging back around and knocking two more off their feet. Steve is watching you now so you smile and toss him the shield, before your eyes grow wide at the group of robots approaching him from behind. You gather a large ball of energy and throw it over his head, knocking them all to the ground. He turns and looks at the fallen group in shock before turning to give you a smile in thanks. You turn back around and pull the gun from your belt, firing at the closest robots and taking them down.

Clint’s voice comes through the comms in your ear, “Alright, we’re all clear here.”

You back up towards Steve as a large circle of robots starts to surround you, and you both surge forward and begin fighting them as Steve grunts out, “We are not clear! We are very not clear!”

“Alright, coming to ya.”

You all continue fighting, tearing apart and destroying the robots until there are none left. You turn towards Steve to ask a question, when you see a fiery red head appear at his side. You feel a memory pull you under before you can stop it.

She clutches your legs in a tight hug, the way she did on the night you first met. You can feel her tears soaking through your pants. “No, don’t go!”

You nudge her arms and she loosens them and you kneel down to her height. “Natalia, I have to go. It’s not my choice. You understand don’t you? That sometimes we do things because it is out of our control?”

She nods and you pull her in for a quick hug. You let go when you hear the sound of footsteps down the hall, and you stand and push her into a hidden alcove in the hallway. You whisper, “I’m sorry.”

You don’t know what the apology is for. Leaving her here, bringing her here in the first place, burning down the orphanage, but you say it anyways before standing and moving down the hallway, leaving her alone at the Red Room Academy.

You are pulled back to the present day when she calls out your name, disbelief evident in her voice. In a shocking act of affection she runs towards you and pulls you in for a hug, and you whisper her name as she does. “Natalia.”

She pulls away and smiles. “Actually, it’s Natasha now.”

Remembering what you did, who you are, you back away from her, your smile dropping. “Natasha, you should hate me.”

“Why? Because of the orphanage? The Red Room?”

You nod, and she waves you off. “I don’t hate you.”

“But I’m the reason-” You choke out, holding back a sob. “Karpov told me about the graduation ceremony. Right before they…” You take a deep breath. “I’m the reason you went through that. Why you suffered at that awful place.”

She shakes her head. “Sometimes we do things because it is out of our control.”

You open your mouth to respond, but Steve walks over, guilt on his face. “The survivors.”

You both nod, understanding, before breaking apart and searching the city, leading the survivors into safer buildings, trying to gather them in one place away from the chaos. Steve’s voice cuts through the comms. “The next wave is gonna hit any minute. What do you got, Stark?”

“Nothing great. Maybe a way to blow up the city. That’ll keep it from impacting the surface, if you guys can get clear.”

Steve stalks away from the building, and you follow at a distance. “I asked for a solution, not an escape plan.”

“Impact radius is getting bigger every second. We’re gonna have to make a choice.”

You follow Steve to the edge of the rock before whispering, “Steve.”

You reach out and touch his arm, and he turns towards you. “These people are going nowhere. If he can find a way to blow this rock…”

He shakes his head, “Not til everyone’s safe.”

You look at him in confusion. “Everyone up here versus everyone down there?”

His voice is authoritative when he responds, “I’m not leaving this rock with one civilian on it.”

“I didn’t say we should leave.”

He turns to you in surprise, and you shrug, before turning to look at the clouds around you. Natasha joins you both a second later and stands beside you. “There are worse ways to go. Where else can I get a view like this?”

An unfamiliar voice cuts through the comms. “Glad you like the view, Romanoff, because it’s about to get better.”

You all watch in shock as a large aircraft floats into view, engines whirring loudly. “Nice, right? Pulled her out of mothballs with a couple of old friends. She’s dusty, but she’ll do.”

You turn and look at Steve, who is smiling. “Fury, you son of a bitch.”

“Ooh! You kiss your mother with that mouth?”

Steve turns and smiles at you as Pietro runs up. You watch as a flap on the side of the aircraft opens up, releasing smaller aircraft that begin moving towards the surface of Sokovia. Pietro grins. “This is Shield?”

Steve’s smile is proud. “This is what Shield’s supposed to be?”

Pietro looks back at you and smiles, and you smile back. “This is not so bad.”

The aircraft begin landing and Steve yells, “Let’s load em up!”

You all take off running towards the various buildings, leading the Sokovians towards the multiple lifeboats, ushering them to safety. As you are loading up the boats, Tony speaks up. “Thor, I got a plan!”

“We’re out of time! They’re coming for the core.”

“Avengers, time to work for a living.”

You follow Steve to the church, running over to the twins when you get there. You all check each other over for wounds, ensuring you’re each okay. You all create a protective circle around the core as Tony explains, “If Ultron gets a hand on the core, we lose.”

Ultron lowers himself into view as everyone settles into their positions. Thor yells, “Is that the best you can do?”

Ultron raises his hand and the army of robots joins him, blanketing your point of view until there is nothing but metal. You catch the exasperated look Steve gives Thor. “You had to ask.”

Ultron spreads his arms wide. “This is the best I can do. This is exactly what I wanted. All of you, against all of me. How can you possibly hope to stop me?”

Tony’s voice echoes in the space. “Like the old man said, together.”

Chaos descends on the small space instantly. Ultron’s army comes at your group from all sides. Everyone is taking out as many as possible, yours and Wanda’s energy tearing them apart as Tony and Vision fly overhead, Pietro zips around, and the others continue ripping and destroying every robot that dares to enter the space in the pursuit of the core. Ultron joins the fight in the church, only to be held back by Vision, Thor, and Tony. As soon as Ultron is knocked away by the Hulk, the rest of the army runs, leaving the core alone.

Steve addresses the group. “We gotta move out. Even I can tell the air is getting thin. You guys get to the boats, I’ll sweep for stragglers. Be right behind you.”

Clint turns to the core. “What about the core?”

Wanda’s voice answers him with confidence. “I’ll protect it. It’s my job.”

Everyone runs off, leaving you near the core with Wanda and Pietro. She turns to you both. “Get the people on the boats.”

You shake your head as Pietro retorts, “We’re not going to leave you here.”

“I can handle this.” She turns and blasts a robot as it runs for the core. Pietro nods, impressed. “Come back for me when everyone else is off. Not before.”

He groans and starts to walk away, before Wanda asks, “Do you understand?”

He turns around with a smirk. “You know, I’m 12 minutes older than you.”

“Go,” she answers with a laugh. She nods in your direction, “And drop her off with Steve.”

You turn to her in shock, “Wanda-”

You are cut off by Pietro grabbing you and running off, stopping and setting you down near Steve. You glare at him and he smiles. “I’m not getting on one of these without you both.”

He laughs, “I know. But we’ll be here.”

Before you can respond, he runs off, leaving you to go join Steve. You continue to hurry people onto the boats, staying close to Steve as you lead the last few survivors onto the boats. You and Steve are standing near Thor when a line of bullets is fired from an aircraft above. You manage to pull a shield over you and Steve as he pulls you out of the way, both of you landing on the ground with a grunt. You are on the ground when you feel the wind knocked out of you, before you sense a surge of energy tearing through the air. You roll over onto your hands and knees and whisper, “Wanda.”

You look around, trying to figure out what happened, when your eyes find a familiar figure, falling to the ground. You cry out and scramble towards him, tears streaming down your face as you reach the fallen twin. You drop to the ground beside him, crying as Steve arrives a second later. Clint checks his pulse and looks up at Steve, a solemn expression on both of their faces. You cry as Steve lifts Pietro’s body, carrying him back to one of the lifeboats. You glance down at Pietro’s body, a wave of steely resolve passing over you. You step out of the boat, whispering Wanda’s name like a mantra, eyes scanning the horizon for her. Suddenly, you hear the core power down, and feel Steve grab you as he pulls you both to safety. You scramble towards the edge, screaming for Wanda, as Steve pulls you backwards, deeper onto the lifeboat, away from the closest thing to family you’ve had since becoming the Red Hunter.

-

## Room 333: RoseHill Assisted Living

“Mrs. Carter, I don’t know how that ticking watch doesn’t drive you mad. Are you sure you don’t want us to move it?”

A finger, marked by age and the passage of time, brushes over the gold lid of the watch. The color now worn and aged. “It’s a reminder of a different time and the people in my life. And it’s staying right here.”

-

## May 25th, 2015

You watch from the passenger seat as Steve leaves the office of the small Eastern European motel, his eyes trained on you the entire time. He opens the door and hands you a room key before stepping aside so you can exit the car, and follow him up the stairs to your room. You stop outside your door and he watches as tears fall down your cheeks. “Hey,” he whispers softly. “Just because we’re the first ones here, doesn’t mean anything. Everyone knows to meet up here, it may just be taking them a little longer.”

“But Wanda-”

“Is alive. And when she, and the rest of the team, get here, we can all go home.”

Home. Tears fall down your face faster, and Steve brushes them away. You mumble quietly, “Don’t leave me here alone.”

“I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

You look up at him, into those blue eyes that are both familiar and foreign, and you unlock the door to your room, before he follows you inside…


	15. xiv. the devil was once an angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> =Description: Once you start running they’ll never let you stop.
> 
> Warnings: Same as usual. Angst, sadness, SMUT (18+ only!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh hi yes I have been up for 24+ hours at the time of writing this and like, am I even writing in english? idk. but yes, thank you all for loving, and reading, and commenting on these chapters. It makes my heart go boom boom whoosh. One to go after this :(

_ May 25th, 2015 _

The energy between you and Steve changes as soon as he closes the door behind him. 

He senses it, and it overwhelms him, forcing him to pull off his cowl and drop it to the floor as he quickly makes a beeline for the bathroom. You stare at the door after he closes it behind him, trapped in a haze of emotion, before the rush of water from the sink pulls you back to the present. You step closer to the cowl slowly, hesitant, before reaching down and picking it up, eyes instantly drawn to the “A” there. You hear the bathroom door swing open as you brush a finger over the small letter, a smudge of red stained on the lower half of it, previously unnoticed by you during the chaos in Sokovia.

Steve’s voice cuts through the silence. “They said the red’s permanent. Something about the way it sealed in the ice.” You hum quietly, but say nothing, eyes still glued on that familiar patch of red. “They tried to give me a new one, but I wouldn’t let em.”

The air is charged, overcome by unspoken feelings and buried memories. You look up from the cowl and your eyes meet his, and you toss the cowl to the side. Your legs close the space between you in two strides, and his arms are already reaching out for you when you grab the front of his uniform, pulling him in for a frantic kiss. 

His arms are locked tight around you, pressing your bodies together, and you slide your hands up his chest and into his hair, pulling him even closer. He moans as you tug on the short strands, giving you access to his tongue, which quickly begin a fight for dominance. You feel your body take control, your muscles guiding you despite your years without practice. You step backwards towards the bed, pulling Steve with you, before spinning right as you reach it, leaving his back to the bed. You pull away from the kiss and push him backwards onto the bed, eyes locked on his as you shrug of your jacket and pull off your shirt. Steve’s eyes land on the moon brand on your side, and he sits up to brush a finger over it, wincing. You whisper, “In case my identity was ever questioned. A subtle reminder of who I belonged to.”

His eyes flick to yours, pain crossing his features. He opens his mouth to say something, but you crash your lips to his instead, before lifting your legs to straddle his lap, locking him in place. You slide your fingers along the hidden seam at his back until you find the small zipper, and you make quick work of his uniform before tossing the rest of your clothes on top of his. He rolls you over, settling on top of you before breaking the kiss to ask, “Are you sure-”

You pull his mouth to yours again as you wrap your legs around him, using your strength to pull him closer, desperation guiding you. He takes the hint and sinks into you, both of you moaning at the sensation. He drops his head onto your shoulder, soft puffs of air brushing over our skin between his moans. His left hand grips the headboard behind you for stability, as his right presses into the skin of your hips. You reach the edge first, tossing your head back in ecstasy as you fall over it, Steve right behind you. 

You both lie there afterwards, bodies still connected as you catch your breath. Steve pulls away after a minute, shifting onto the bed at your side, allowing you to snuggle close to him. You start to drift off in minutes, your breath spreading over Steve’s chest softly as he strokes the skin on your back. 

-

_ The smile of a too young soldier. Permission to kiss you. A scrap of paper, yanked from your grip by the wind. And I think I love them both. Terror, seizing every limb of your body. One more move, and he’s dead. White hot electricity, the haze of unknown drugs. Something to fight for. Two men, one dark haired, one blond. The gods brought you back to me. Quiet relief. I’m not goin anywhere. Panic, replaced with laughter. Shouldn’t you both be kissin me instead? Blood, splattered on your uniform. But that’s what Zola made you. This is who I am. Panic, a never ending maze of hallways. I thought I had more time. Heartbreaking emptiness.  I can’t be alone, I can’t, I can’t. Blood coating your fingertips, the doctor’s lifeless stare. His family will be heartbroken. Emptiness, seized by powerful control. Ready to comply. Panic, a reminder of Hydra. You scream as he presses the brand into your skin, the flesh burning as it leaves its permanent mark. _

You wake up with a gasp, skin sticky with sweat, heart beating wildly. You glance around the room and then to the man snoring softly beside you. You watch as Steve’s bare chest rises and falls, sleep undisturbed by your abrupt awakening. The lines of his face are softer in sleep, unburdened by the responsibilities of his life, stress forgotten in the quiet hours of the early morning. And the vulnerability of the moment scares you.

A heavy panic washes over you, your head spinning as nausea sits heavy in your throat.  _ Too much too much too much.  _

You slide from the bed, thankful that sleep untangled your limbs from his, before slinking throughout the room quietly. You find your clothes and dress quickly, before moving over to Steve’s belongings. You pull a knife and gun from his utility belt, before digging in his pockets in search of his wallet. You pull it from one of the hidden pockets of his uniform, feeling guilty as you slide the ATM card from his wallet and into your back pocket. You tuck the gun and the knife in your waistband, pull on your jacket, and tie your boots on. You pause at the door, eyes adjusting to the darkness of the room around you, your lungs choking on the trust that floats heavy in the air. A trust that you’d be there when he wakes up. A trust that you’d return to New York with him, erase the sins of your past. A trust that you wouldn’t steal from him. A trust that you wouldn’t leave him. Wouldn’t break his heart. 

A trust you break as you slip out of the motel room door.

-

The streets of the small Eastern European city are quiet this early in the morning, inhabited only by those that carry the same troubled darkness that courses through you. You walk until you find an ATM on a street corner, and you look around before pulling the card from your pocket and inserting it into the machine. You duck your head, trying to hide from the camera situated inside the machine as it reads the card, before the screen changes, asking for a PIN number.

_ Shit. _

You shove your hands in your pockets, thinking, wondering what his PIN could be. A birthday? A code? A phone number? His social? 

Your fingers brush something folded in your pocket, and you pull the item out, looking at it in confusion. You unfold the paper, revealing a photo, three smiling faces looking back at you.

A date?

You turn the photo over and find 4 numbers scrawled on the back in ink. 1943.

You key the 4 numbers into the machine, waiting with baited breath as the machine processes, before ejecting the card with a ding, a message flashing on screen.

Approved.

You let out the breath you didn’t realize you were holding before emptying the account, taking the money it gave you and stuffing it in your pocket. You take the card too, a reminder of what you’ve done and the pain you cause, before blending into the shadows, disappearing from the memories of time.

-

_ June 17, 2015; Warsaw, Poland. Population (2015): 1.735 million _

You run around your small motel room, tossing your few belongings into a backpack, gritting your teeth when you hear pounding on the door. Your eyes flick to the entrance as a voice joins the pounding. “Policja!”

You run into the kitchen, grab your notebook and tear out a page, before scrawling a message over the lines. You pull the ATM card from a pocket in your backpack and leave in next to the note before stuffing the notebook into your backpack, just as the Polish police break down your door. Taking a deep breath you manifest your energy around you before pushing it to the 4 officers that entered the space, knocking them all unconscious. You step over their bodies carefully before running down the stairs and across the courtyard, blending into the crowds as soon as you reach the street.

Steve Rogers enters the motel room 10 minutes later, and a Polish officer hands him the note and card left behind.

_ Stop looking for me. _

_ I’m sorry. _

-

_ December 19th, 2015; Paris, France. Population (2015): 2.211 million _

Paris is beautiful in December, but it is time to go. Your train to Romania is leaving soon, and Bucharest has a promising lead for your hunt of Hydra personnel.

Dr. List.

-

_ December 24th, 2015; Bucharest, Romania. Population (2015): 1.849 million _

You have the man moved from the bed and tied in a chair before his breathing even stutters.

Dr. List’s eyes grow wide as struggles against the restraints, muffled screams sounding around his gag. You stand in the shadows, half hidden.

A ghost.

“Where is Karpov?”

Panic is evident in his muffled ramblings, tears streaming down his face. You glare as you step from the shadows, energy already swirling around you. List’s eyes grow impossibly wider as he struggles harder, attempting to scream. Your voice drips with venom, “I can kill you and no one would hear a thing.”

List stills in his seat, and you stop the energy around you as you step closer. You pause in front of him, eyes hard on his, asking a silent question. He nods and you lower the gag, and he stumbles out, “What do you want? Please don’t hurt me!”

You ground out, “Where is Karpov?”

“I-I-I don’t know. Somewhere in the States.”

You pull your gun and press it to his temple. You feel his body trembling as you tsk. “Do better.”

“I don’t know, I swear I don’t! But you’re not the only one who’s asking!”

You hide your shock at his information before questioning, “Who else?”

“A man! I don’t know who! He was here a few weeks ago!”

You give him a tight smile. “You don’t know a lot, do you?”

“Please don’t kill me, please!”

You sigh and lower your gun. “I’m not going to kill you, Doctor List. I’m just going to play some mind games.”

You yank the gag back up as he starts to struggle, his screams muffled as he cries in fear. The energy swirls around you and you mentally cross another Hydra leader off your list as you guide the energy to him.

-

_ January 8th, 2016; Bucharest, Romania _

You pull your coat tighter against you as you wander down the small alleys that weave through the city. You turn right at the fourth corner and wander down the path before emerging in one of the city squares, the market already bustling with patrons despite the early morning and cold temperature.  You remember the fruits from your last trip here and make a beeline for the stall run by an aging married couple, their produce better than most. You greet them as you arrive, ignoring those around you, focusing only picking the best citrus. You reach for a particularly bright orange, your eyes drawn to the color, and your fingers grasp the fruit just as a gloved hand closes around it. You mutter out, “Îmi pare rău.”

You look over at the person to apologize a second time, and offer them the orange, but when your eyes lock, your mind goes blank. The slate blue eyes widen as they take in your appearance, and his name falls from your lips in a reverent whisper. “Bucky?”


	16. xv. the end of the line

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Description: The beginning of the end.
> 
> Warnings: Same as usual. Angst, torture, fighting, blood, cursing, general sadness, death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG IT'S HERE THE LAST CHAPTER IS HERE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK I LOVE YOU
> 
> ALSO I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT COMING ABOUT THIS FIC SO STAY TUNED AND/OR CHECK MY TUMBLR

_ January 8th, 2016 _

You perch on the end of the bed nervously, as Bucky stands in the small living space in front of you. You finally break the silence, curiosity getting the better of you. “Were you here looking for Karpov too?”

You see a flash of anger pass over Bucky’s face at the mention of the name, and he looks at you in disbelief. “Karpov? No. I’m done with it. All of it.”

You nod once, and he senses your unease. “Why? Is that why you’re here?”

“Yes. Well, it was…” You hesitate, eyes darting to his and back down at your feet. “How much do you remember? Of before?”

“You mean Steve.” He says it matter of fact, and your eyes lock with his, nodding quickly.

“Yes, Steve. I ran into him. In Sokovia. It’s where I was being kept.”

You sense the tension radiating off Bucky in waves, and he lowers himself onto the couch across from you. “Sokovia. When I was in D.C., I heard that’s where you might be. Someone mentioned...experiments. New weapons.” 

He glances at you from the corner of his eye, and you hold out a hand, letting the red energy weave between your fingers. He gasps quietly, eyes transfixed on the movement before snapping up to meet yours. He whispers, “What did they do to you?”

You laugh, bitter. “I was expendable, so they made me the first human test for their weapons project. Apparently, guns weren’t enough anymore.” 

His eyes look pained, a million things unsaid hanging in the air. You ignore his concern and confess, “I was in Sokovia with the Avengers. With Steve.”

“They kept you out of the news, then. I had no idea.”

You shrug. “He’s been looking for me though. Got pretty close in Poland, but I made it out. That’s kinda why I’m here too. At least, it’s kinda why I stayed. I like it here.”

Bucky smiles, “I do too. I’ve been here a few months now, trying to piece everything back together.”

“Can you tell me everything you remember?” Your voice cracks on your next question, “Please?”

Bucky gets up and walks the short distance to the kitchen before pulling a notebook off the top of the fridge. He comes back and settles on the bed next to you, before opening to the first page. “I started in D.C. at the Smithsonian…”

-

_ February 14th, 2016 _

Bucky shifts on the bed, turning towards you. The early morning moonlight casts a soft glow over his face, his troubled expression tugging at your heart instantly. “I know you don’t like mind games…”

“Bucky,” you whisper softly. 

He cuts you off, “Please.” You can hear the pain in his voice, the stress from the nightmares keeping him awake. You reach up and rest your hand on his cheek, brush the bags under his eyes with your thumb. He leans into your touch and you melt. “Okay.”

The air around you glows softly as you guide it towards him, concentrating on pulling happier memories to the forefront of his mind while pushing the darker ones deeper into his brain. He sighs, more content, as he starts to find peace. He leans forward and presses a kiss to your nose, before settling his head on your pillow, so close your noses are brushing. His voice is full of relief when he whispers, “Thank you.”

-

_ March 3rd, 2016 _

You and Bucky mostly spend your days the same. You trade stories and memories, documenting them all in case a time comes when you forget again. You go to the market, to the fruit stall where you reconnected, you walk through the city, lost in your own world. You almost become a normal couple.

Hydra becomes a memory, plaguing you both only in nightmares. The gun moves from directly beside you each night, to tucked between the mattress. You use your magic less. You both start to open up to each other, reaching a relationship that is similar to the one you had before the war. 

Before Steve.

Steve becomes a strange topic. Bucky knows about your night with him in the motel, and he’s unbothered. You both remember him. You remember the trio of friendship, and you remember becoming something more during the war. But now... 

-

_ April 11th, 2016 _

You rip a chunk from the loaf of bread and stuff it into your mouth, chewing and swallowing before musing, “So…”

Bucky looks up from his plate, eyes dancing with amusement. “So…?”

“Would you... _ want  _ to be with Steve again?”

Bucky puts his fork down, sensing the serious undertone in your question. He thinks for a moment before answering, “Do you mean together? As a trio?”

“Yes.”

He answers without hesitation, “Then yes.”

Your face lights up. “Really?”

“Really.”

-

_ May 6th, 2016 _

You wake up as the sunlight filters through the gauzy curtains, warm beams of lights landing on your face. Bucky is already awake, watching you, a soft smile on his face. You reach out and brush his hair from his face, quickly realizing that you slept through the night. Both of you. You smile and ask, “No nightmares?”

He flashes you his perfect teeth and confirms, “No nightmares.”

-

_ June 23, 2016 _

You keep your fingers intertwined with Bucky’s as you talk to the woman at your favorite stall, Bucky’s metal hand testing the plums on display there, finding the best. He looks up and chats with the husband as he chooses, and when Bucky is satisfied with his selection, you pass your money to the wife, before you and Bucky say your goodbyes and move towards the street. You are nearing the crosswalk when you feel the prickle of someone’s gaze on you, and you look across the street to find a man in a newstall eyeing you and Bucky with skepticism. You squeeze his hand lightly and he turns to look at you, following your gaze to the man in the stall.

Bucky starts to lead you across the street, and the man runs off as soon as he sees you both approaching. You reach the stall and Bucky swipes the newspaper off the counter, turning it towards you both. 

_ Winter Soldier and Red Hunter: Responsible for Bombing in Vienna? _

Your stomach drops at the low quality photo blown up on the front page, yours and Bucky’s face looking right at you. You feel anxiety tighten your chest. “Bucky…”

He looks down at you, a look of fear crossing his features until he composes himself, jaw clenching with anger. “I know. We have to go.”

You both weave through the alleys back to your apartment, careful to stick to streets with no cameras and few passerby. You both creep up the stairs slowly, Bucky in the lead while you keep your gaze focused behind you, eyes sweeping the other doors. Bucky stops near the top step before turning and pressing a finger into your palm, a silent signal from your time in Hydra. You turn to face him and over his shoulder you see the apartment door cracked open. You nod in understanding before you both slink inside, eyes trained on the back of the man in your kitchen. You can see yours and Bucky’s notebooks opened in his hands, and you both watch as he thumbs through some of the pages. 

Sensing your presence he turns, eyes widening slightly in shock when he sees you peering at him from around Bucky. He locks eyes with Bucky instead. “Do you know me?”

You feel Bucky tense up, both of you thinking the same thing.  _ He’s here to take us in. _

Bucky errs on the side of caution and responds, “You’re Steve. I read about you in a museum.”

Steve glances down at the notebooks in his hand before placing them on the counter beside him. “I know you’re nervous, and you have plenty of reason to be. But you’re lying.”

“We weren’t in Vienna. We don’t do that anymore.”

Steve glances out the window before locking his gaze with you. “Well the people who think you did are coming here now. And they’re not planning on taking either of you alive.”

Bucky deadpans, “That’s smart. Good strategy.”

All of your eyes shift to the roof at the footsteps overhead. Bucky widens his stance, getting ready, and you shift closer to him on instinct. 

Steve’s voice is solemn when he offers, “This doesn’t have to end in a fight.”

Bucky glances back at you before answering, “It always ends in a fight.”

“You pulled me from the river.” Bucky tugs his glove off, revealing the metal of his left arm. “Why?”

“I don’t know.” Steve’s eyes shift to yours, and you can hear the pleading tone in his voice when he mutters your name. You are about to respond when you hear the glass of the window break beside you, and you pull up a shield to protect you and Bucky from the blast. The shield protects you but the force of the blast knocks you off balance as a second flash bang breaks through the other window. Bucky kicks it to Steve, who seals it under his shield, and you pull yourself to your feet. Bucky pulls you to him and pulls you both under the mattress as the third bang hits, just as the pounding on the door begins. 

You use your energy to wedge furniture into the entrances of the apartment, making it harder for the men to enter, as Steve and Bucky fight them men that have crashed inside. You turn when you hear Steve yell, “Buck, stop!” Steve’s hand is gripping Bucky’s shoulder, and he ducks beneath it. “You’re gonna kill someone.”

Bucky pushes Steve to the ground and punches the floorboards near Steve’s head, pulling both of your backpacks from the hidden spot. “I’m not gonna kill anyone.”

He stands and tosses your backpack to you and you grab both of the notebooks and stuff them inside before pulling the straps onto your shoulders. Bucky tosses his bag onto the neighboring roof before two more men enter the apartment, firing between all three of you. You shield yourself from one as Bucky blocks the shots from the other with is metal arm before pulling Steve closer to him and ducking behind the shield. You use your other hand to push the energy of your shield to the man, knocking him into the wall. Bucky tosses Steve onto the terrace outside as he stalks towards the other man, using his arm to block the bullets. He grabs him and slams him into the bookshelf, knocking him unconscious, before using a cinder block to take out a third man who entered into the apartment. 

He grabs you as they use a shotgun to blast the hinges of your front door, and he leads you towards the door before punching through the wall and knocking one of the men out. You use a blast of energy to knock down the door, using it to take out two more men. You follow Bucky down the stairs, taking out as many men as possible as you try to reach a floor to safely jump from. One man comes rappelling through the skylight and into the stairwell, and you hit him with a wave of energy that sends him flying into the wall opposite you. 

You follow Bucky down the stairs as you hear Steve enter the stairwell two floors above you. Bucky breaks the rail and swings down onto the floor above, and you hear a gun being loaded before Steve knocks the man out, saving Bucky. Bucky motions for you to follow him and you scramble down the stairs before finally reaching a floor to jump from, leaving the sounds of fighting in the distance. Bucky kicks down the apartment door and stalks through it before taking of running, launching himself from the balcony and onto the roof of the next building. You take a deep breath and follow suit, losing your footing as you land onto the roof, tumbling and rolling to a stop. 

You stand and run towards Bucky as a shadow flies over your head and lands on Bucky, knocking him to the ground. You cry out, “Bucky!”

You watch in horror as Bucky and the man begin fighting, the other man instantly gaining the upper hand. Bucky is knocked to the ground and the other man descends on him, and you spring into action, using your energy to stop the claws that were intended for Bucky’s neck. You fling the other man away and run over to Bucky before helping him to his feet. He grabs his bag from the ground and you both take off running towards the edge of the building, leaping over the edge and making your way to the ground as Steve and the other guy follow closely behind. 

Your boots land with a thud on the concrete below, and Bucky pushes you in front of him, putting himself between you and the other man. You see a helicopter flying low in front of you, bullets instantly raining down on you and forcing you to take a sharp left, before jumping down into the tunnel below. You and Bucky land in the middle of traffic, and cars swerve to avoid hitting you. You both take off running again, Hydra’s serum pulsing through your blood and pushing you faster than the vehicles around you. You hear the wail of sirens echoing through the tunnel, and you weave between cars as you speed through the tunnel. 

A line of police cars drive down the wrong side of the road towards you, and you and Bucky swerve to the left to avoid them, before jumping over a row of barrels onto the other side of the road. You continue running a few feet ahead of Bucky when you see a motorcycle driving towards you. You move out of its way and look back as Bucky knocks the driver off and swings onto the motorcycle seat effortlessly. He drives up to you and reaches a hand out, pulling you onto the motorcycle without slowing down, before driving into oncoming traffic and away from the others. You weave in and out of traffic, Bucky maneuvering between the cars with ease. 

Steve’s car closes the space between you, and as Bucky drives towards the exit of the tunnel, he hands you an explosive device over his shoulder. You activate it and toss it onto the tunnel’s overhang, the explosion instantly raining down debris behind you.

The other man somehow flies towards you, claws out, puncturing the back tire and causing you to crash. You and Bucky tumble across the concrete, your unprotected arms rubbed raw by the friction from the asphalt. You come to a rolling stop beside Bucky, groaning as the pain catches up to you. You see the other man looming over Bucky, about to attack, when Steve crashes into him, knocking him away from you both. Bucky runs over to you and helps you to your feet, and the energy of your magic swirls around you, uncontrolled by your emotions. 

You stand beside Bucky and Steve, facing the other man, as the wail of sirens grows closer. Steve holds out his arm to Bucky, indicating for him to stay put, before flashing you a warning look. Bucky presses a finger into your palm and whispers, “Red…”

You take a deep breath and control your emotions, stopping the swirl of magic from around you. Seconds later you hear the whoosh of power as War Machine, who you recognize from Sokovia, lands near you. He trains weapons on you, Bucky, and Steve and demands, “Stand down, now.”

You and Bucky glance at the number of people surrounding you, before glancing at each other. Your jaw instantly clenches in anger before War Machine continues, “Congratulations, Cap. You’re a criminal.”

Steve lifts his hands in surrender, but you and Bucky stand unmoving as the men descend on you, kicking you onto our knees before pushing you onto the ground beside Bucky. The asphalt scrapes against your cheek and you feel the anger bubble higher within you as you watch Bucky being treated unfairly, and his eyes lock with yours. You see the soft expression in them and you control your anger as they pull you to your feet and secure your arms at your side. You and Bucky are thrown into nearly identical containment cells, except yours contains your hands and arms more securely to prevent you from using magic. 

-

You and Bucky reach the compound before Steve and the others, and they unload each of your containment cells separately, surrounded by armed guards. You watch Steve’s van arrive and feel his gaze shift to you and Bucky before he starts talking to a group of people. Before he exits the room, he turns and locks eyes with you and Bucky before the door slides closed behind him, leaving you and Bucky without Steve. Your cells are transported deep within the building, before being situated side by side within a large room. A metal table sits near the door of the room, and a dark haired man enters the room before sitting behind it, glasses perched on his nose. His voice is cheery. “Mind if I sit?”

You turn to glance at Bucky, whose head is resting on the seat, eyes trained on the ceiling. You eye the man warily. He smiles and says your full name, before asking, “Is that correct?”

You look at him and say nothing. He turns to Bucky. “Your first name is James?”

Bucky says nothing and the man continues, “I’m not here to judge either of you. I just want to ask you a few questions. Do you know where you are?”

You continue to stare at the man blankly, saying nothing. He turns to Bucky. “James? I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me.”

“My name is Bucky.”

You turn to Bucky and the expression on your face softens, and you want nothing more than to bust out of containment and drag him back to safety. Back to Romania.  _ Home _ .

The man begins ignoring you completely, eyes focused only on Bucky. “Tell me. Bucky. You’ve seen a great deal, haven’t you?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“You fear that if you open your mouth, the horrors might never stop? Don’t worry, we only have to talk about one.”

Warning bells go off in your head and you snap your eyes towards the man. You open your mouth to question him when the room goes dark, before being lit up again by the red glow of the emergency lights. Your voice is panicked when you mutter, “Bucky…”

You see his jaw clench as he asks, “What the hell is this?”

“Why don’t we discuss your home? Not Romania. Certainly not Brooklyn, no.” You watch as he reaches into his bag to pull something out. “I mean your real home.”

Your stomach drops when you see the forgotten red notebook, adorned with the moon and star logo, the pages full of the techniques used on you and Bucky both. The man pulls out a flashlight and walks towards Bucky, reading the words. “желание.”

You see Bucky shake his head, a single whispered word falling from his lips. “No.”

“ржавый.”

Bucky’s lip quivers as he mutters, “Stop.”

“Семнадцать.”

Bucky’s metal arm clenches, and he grounds out, “Stop!”

Your voice is a warning, “Bucky, Bucky listen to me.”

“Рассвет.”

Bucky throws his head back and yells, and you scream, trying to be heard over the man’s voice. “Bucky, you can fight this! Don’t listen to him!”

Bucky’s metal arm tears through his restraints, and he pulls the other restraint off as the doctor continues, “Печь. девять. добросрдечный. возвращение на родину. Один. грузовой вагон.”

Bucky slams the door of the cell as the doctor recites the words, and you never stop screaming as Bucky shatters the glass of the cell door. “Bucky, please! Fight it!”

The door flies from the cell and Bucky stands slowly, menacingly. “Soldat?”

“готовы подчиниться.”

Your heart sinks as you watch the man smile at the Soldier, Bucky now long gone. “Stand guard.”

The Soldier nods and the doctor comes over to your cell, before flipping the page of the notebook. “I didn’t forget about you, don’t worry.”

You swallow back bile as you beg quietly, “Please don’t do this. Just tell me what you want, and I’ll do it.”

“I know you will.”

He smiles, and begins reciting. “булавочный укол.” You feel a shift beneath your skin, as the Hunter begins her climb to the surface. Her climb for control. 

You shake your head frantically. “ _ Please _ !”

“воспламененный.”

You the crackle of electricity on your skin. “You don’t have to do this!”

“забытый.” A scream tears from your throat, the memory of the electricity searing through your body. 

“рассвет.” He paces around your cell. “рубин.”

You feel your mind grow blank as the Hunter takes control, you scream as she pushes you down lower. A prisoner in your own body. “Девять. кровная линия. Три.”

The red energy of your magic swirls around you, lifting your hair and dancing along your skin, powered by the Hunter’s unyielding focus. The doctor utters the last word, “опуститься.”

The Hunter screams and a flash of red temporarily blinds the room, as your magic blows the door off your cell, and you step from within it. “охотница?” (Hunter?)

“готовы подчиниться.”

The doctor nods. “Kill anyone that tries to get in here, unless they are the Avengers.”

You nod once and your feet carry your from the room as the doctor turns to the Soldier, asking him for a mission report. You hear the pounding of boots a few moments later, and a large group of men enter the room, weapons drawn and aimed at you. You use your magic to knock the guns out of the first two men’s hands, before running forward and slamming their heads together with a sickening crack. You kick a man on your left before spinning and shielding yourself from a bullet from behind, before reaching out and snatching the gun from his hand, using the end of it to knock him out. You turn and use the gun to fire at the last 4 men, and their bodies hit the ground with a satisfying thud. 

You hear two sets of feet clambering down the stairs and the Soldier emerges from the other room, motioning for you to join him in the shadows. The Captain and one other come around the corner, and you feel your muscles twitch, ready to fight. The Soldier presses a finger to your palm and signals for you to wait. The doctor cries out from the other room and the Captain runs inside, before the Soldier motions for you to attack the other man. You leap from the shadows and fight him hand to hand, annoyed when he blocks your kicks and punches before returning with hits of his own. You hear the Soldier begin fighting the Captain behind you, and you finally knock the man off his feet, before using your magic to sling him into the other room. 

The Soldier pushes the Captain through the metal doors of the elevator and you he turns and motions for you to follow him up the stairs. You run after him, following the Soldier up the stairs and through the building until you reach a food court. A team of people swarm on you and the Soldier, and you fight them off, back to back, taking them out. As you each knock a man to the ground, a loud ringing cuts through the air and freezes you both in place, the pain disabling you for a second. When you and the Soldier come back to, Iron Man is running towards him, with the Black Widow and another woman approaching you. You run towards them, creating distance between you and the Soldier, as you fight the two women off. 

The blonde woman swings a kick towards you, which you block, and you spin and deliver a hard blow to her ribs. The Black Widow runs at you and delivers a kick to your chest, sliding you backwards, and you look up at her with an angry smirk. You surge towards her and match all of her blows with blocks of your own, before the blond tries to cut in and hit you. You toss a ball of energy at her and hear her body crash into a row of tables to your left, as you grab the Black Widow and spin her around before pulling her to you, arms wrapped tightly around her. She rears her head back and it crashes into your nose, blood quickly dripping into your mouth. You spit and deliver a kick to her stomach that takes her off guard, before she crashes an elbow into your eye, pain instantly throbbing there. 

She grabs onto her back and spins herself around your body, legs locking around your neck as she squeezes and blocks your air. You walk blindly forward as she delivers blow after blow to the top of your head, and you slam her onto a table, hands instantly shooting up to her neck. She gasps around your grip, “You could at least recognize me.”

You feel something tug within you before you bury it back down, turning when you hear the Soldier yell out. You flip the table and knock the Black Widow out, before following the sounds of fighting to the nearby stairwell. You run up the stairs and find a man fighting with the Soldier, and you watch as he throws the Soldier over the stairwell, his body crashing into the wall before he drops to the ground. You deliver a kick to the man’s back and he loses his balance, before you swipe your legs at his and send him tumbling down the stairs. 

You check and ensure that he is unmoving before you scramble down the stairs to the Soldier, who motions for you to follow him to the roof. Once on the roof, you both make a beeline for the helicopter there. You settle into the passenger seat as the Soldier starts the aircraft, and it is feet off the ground when it lurches to your left. You see the Captain hanging onto one of the rails, and the Soldier ignores him and guides the helicopter away from the building. You feel the helicopter freeze in place as the Captain holds you back, before the Soldier grunts in annoyance as warning alarms sound around you. He turns the helicopter abruptly towards the Captain, and you lurch forwards as the helicopter crashes on the landing pad. 

The Soldier crashes his arm through the windshield of the helicopter to latch onto the Captain’s throat, and you feel the aircraft shift and lurch as it slides over the edge. You all fall through the air towards the water below, and you crash into the front of the aircraft as it hits the water. You see blood floating in the water around you until everything goes black.

-

Your eyes open slowly, a soft groan leaving your lips at the pounding in your head. You close them again and freeze in place when you hear quiet whispers, arguing back and forth. “They branded her, like an animal! Tortured her, manipulated her, wiped her memories.”

A voice you don’t recognize retorts, “She’s dangerous. Abilities like that are fine when they’re on our side.”

A third voice speaks up, soft, familiar. “She is on your side.”

You try to shift, the uncomfortable metal of a chair digging into your back, but you panic when you realize you can’t move your arms. Your eyes fly open and dart around the warehouse, before settling on the three men arguing in the corner. Relief floods you when you see Bucky, and Steve standing there. “Bucky.”

All three men turn towards you and Bucky jogs over to you first, Steve and the other man following behind. He smiles when he reaches you, “Hey, Red.”

You smile at the nickname but the anxiety is still heavy in your voice. “Why am I tied up?”

Bucky reaches out to loosen when your restraints, when Steve lets out a single, strained word. “Don’t.”

Your eyes flick to his, confusion written all over your face and he asks, “How do we know it’s you?”

“I saved you from an alley in New York after you were beaten up, brought you back to Bucky. I left you in a motel last year, alone.”

A pained expression crosses his face, and he nods at Bucky to untie you. When you are free, you turn to Bucky. “What happened?”

“We were triggered. By the doctor.”

“Why?”

Bucky sighs, “He’s looking for the other winter soldiers?”

You balk and lean away from him slightly. “Other…?” You let out a bitter laugh, a memory bubbling to the surface. “They said I was being replaced.”

Bucky squeezes your hand and Steve speaks up behind him. “We have to go stop him. Sharon is going to meet us halfway to return our suits, and then we’ll fly out of Leipzig.”

You turn to Bucky, “Sharon?”

“The blonde.”

You give him a curt nod in response as Steve says, “Let’s get going.”

-

_ June 24, 2016 _

The small car pulls to a stop underneath an overpass, and Steve steps from the car when he sees the blonde get out of hers. Your eyes follow every movement Sharon makes, and Bucky’s eyes flick to you with amusement as he watches you grow more and more tense. She pops the trunk and Steve moves closer to check the contents, and you watch Sharon shift closer to Steve, a flirty smile on her face. You can’t hear their conversation from inside, but you suddenly fling the door open when you see her reaching out for Steve. “Steve!”

They both turn when you call his name, and you glance at your wrist, despite wearing no watch. “We need to go. We’re running out of time.”

Steve nods once and starts to pull the uniforms from the trunk, and you don’t miss the look Sharon gives you as you slide back into the car. Bucky is closer to you now, situated in the middle, and he smirks as you slam the door shut and cross your arms. He whispers, “She’s got a crush. But I don’t think you need to be jealous.”

You level a glare at him and squirm in your seat. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m just worried about time.”

Bucky snorts and whispers, “Mhm, the time.”

-

Steve whips the car around the corners of the parking garage, and you  brace yourself with one hand against the door and the other against Bucky’s thigh. You glance at Bucky when Steve pulls a sharp turn, causing the tires to squeal loudly. You both hide a smile as you look at each other, and Steve catches the exchange in the rearview mirror. “What?”

“Nothing,” you both chorus. 

Steve shakes his head and pulls around a van before stopping the car in a spot nearby. He steps out as soon as the car comes to a halt, and you are pulling of your seatbelt when you hear a familiar voice outside. “Cap.”

Your head whips up and you see Clint walking towards Steve, a smile on his face, you whisper in disbelief, “Clint?”

And then your heart nearly stops when you see the long dark hair of a pretty girl step from the van’s passenger side and onto the concrete below. You scramble over Bucky, who gives you a strange look, and pull yourself from the open passenger door, before running around the car the group outside. “Wanda!”

She glances over when she hears your voice, and her expression is shocked before it breaks into a wide smile. You collide together in a strong hug, and you bury your face in her hair. “I thought you were dead.”

You pull away and she laughs, “No, I’m fine. I showed up to the motel a few hours after you left.”

Guilt makes you nauseous and you shake your head. “I’m sorry.”

She squeezes your hand, “Don’t be.” You turn to Steve with a disbelieving smile, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

He smiles, “I wanted to surprise you.” You walk over to him and pull him into a hug, before pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Thank you.”

His smile is bright when you pull away, and the rest of the group introduces themselves before an announcement rings out over the intercom in German. You turn to Bucky as soon as it starts, both of you understanding instantly. Bucky translates for the group, “They’re evacuating the airport.”

Sam turns to Steve and states, “Stark.” 

Steve’s voice is full of authority when he addresses the group. “Suit up.”

You flash Wanda a smile before turning back to the car, pulling Bucky and Steve with you. You pull your uniforms from the trunk before breaking off from the group to change in an isolated part of the parking garage. You feel Steve’s eyes on you as you pull the leather pants over your legs, and you look up and lock eyes with him. “What?”

He shakes his head, and offers you an easy smile. “Nothing. It just…”

Bucky’s voice finishes his thought, “Deja vu?”

“Yeah. Deja vu.”

You nod and tug a long red sleeve shirt over your head before strapping a knife around your ankle and a gun on your side. You sit and tug your boots on and Steve lowers himself beside you. His voice is quiet when he asks, “No mind games, right?”

You give him a reassuring smile. “No mind games.”

“And you’ll be careful?”

Your smile widens, “And I’ll be careful.”

“Good.”

He starts to say something to Bucky, but you lean forward and cut him off by pressing your lips to his. He’s caught off guard for only a second before his lips respond to yours, kissing you back. You pull away, breathless, as you feel Bucky kneel beside you. Steve gives you both a hard look. “After all of this is over, I think we need to talk.”

“Agreed.”

“Only took us 70 years to build up to the relationship talk? Wow.” Bucky laughs at your joke and Steve shakes his head with a smile, before offering you a hand and pulling you to your feet. Bucky stands beside you, and Steve eyes lock on Bucky’s. “I’ll meet you both at the Quinjet.”

Bucky pulls Steve in for a quick kiss, and you watch with a smile. “See you soon.”

Steve turns to you next. “Keep him safe, alright?”

You say nothing as you quickly kiss your fingertip and press it to the A on his cowl. Steve’s eyes flutter closed at the gesture, and you hear him take a deep breath to compose himself. “For luck, right?”

His eyes open and his ocean eyes lock with yours as he gives you a bright smile. “For luck.”

He gives you both one last look before running off, and Bucky turns to you with a smile. “Ready to knock em dead, Red?”

“Ye-”

You are cut off by Sam’s voice yelling from behind a stone pillar. “Are y’all kissing or something? Is it safe to look?”

You roll your eyes and hold back a laugh as you respond, “Yes, it’s safe to look!”

Sam emerges from behind the pillar, skepticism still on his face until he sees that you and Bucky are standing a few feet apart. He breathes a sigh of relief and mutters, “C’mon, lovebirds.”

Sam takes off running and you both follow him through the airport, eyes scanning each corner for a hidden enemy, before he comes to a stop in one of the terminals. He deploys a small aircraft and you watch it fly off in search of the other’s Quinjet. You all sit in silence as you listen to the comms for any updates. Sam makes a pleased sound a moment later, and he notifies Steve through the comms. “We found it. Their Quinjet’s in hangar five, north runway.”

Sam’s aircraft returns and you all begin running through the terminal towards the fifth hangar, focused on one goal. You are halfway through the terminal when you hear something land on the glass roof, and Bucky looks up, confused. “What the hell was that?”

“Everyone’s got a gimmick now.”

You all push yourselves faster, trying to outrun whoever is crawling on the ceiling above you. He crashes through one of the windows in a flurry of red and blue, before knocking Sam to the ground. Bucky turns and pulls back his metal arm, which the masked man catches, and Bucky looks on in bewilderment. “You have a metal arm? That is awesome, dude!”

You run forward and try to knock the man’s legs from beneath him, only for him to sidestep you. You slide to a stop right near his feet, before knocking him off balance with a blast of energy. You jump to your feet and stand over him as energy swirls around you. The masked man’s voice is giddy with excitement when he asks, “You have magic? That’s so cool!”

You turn to Bucky, incredulous, as you remark, “He sounds like a kid!”

You miss Bucky’s response as you are sent flying through the air, before landing with a crash into a kiosk nearby. You sit up with a groan, watching as Sam collides with the masked man, wings extended as he carries him through the air. Bucky runs over to you and helps you to your feet before leading you to cover behind a large pole nearby. Bucky pulls a sign from the ground and tosses it at him, only for it to come flying back, seconds later. He pulls you close to him to shield you from any debris, before you hear Sam crashing to the ground nearby. 

You and Bucky run towards the sound of the crash and find Sam stuck to the glass railing nearby. You run towards him first, only to have the same sticky web shot on both of your hands, crippling your magic. The masked man swing towards you and Sam, and Bucky blocks the impact for you both at the last second, as all of you crash over the edge of the railing and onto the floor below. All of your hands are bound in some way, and you turn your head towards Sam when you hear the soft clicks of his control for his small aircraft. 

The masked man is rambling about impressing Tony when he is pulled from the building and onto the ground below. Annoyance is heavy in Bucky’s voice when he asks, “You couldn’t have done that earlier?”

“I hate you.”

You snort at Sam’s response before Bucky pulls a knife from his belt and frees his hand before freeing both of yours. You take the knife from Bucky and release Sam, just as explosions sound from outside. You all take off running through the terminal again, wondering what’s happening outside.

You emerge from the terminal minutes later, maneuvering through the aircraft and equipment and meeting up with Steve and the others. You all run forward as a team, until you are stopped in your tracks by a blast of yellow energy from the mind stone. You all look up to see Vision floating above you. “Captain Rogers, I know you believe what you are doing is right. But for the collective good, you must surrender now.”   
  
Tony and the rest of his team arrive behind Vision, and you all eye each other warily. Sam’s voice carries to you, “What do we do, Cap?”

“We fight.”

Steve begins walking towards Tony’s group, and you all follow in a walk, and then a run, before colliding in a chaotic battle. You keep your focus on Vision, remembering the damage he can do with the stone. You toss aircraft at him, mess with the energy of the stone, and distract him in every way possible to keep him away from your teammates. You are side by side with Wanda as she helps you distract Vision, when you hear Bucky cry out from behind you. You glance over your shoulder at him, and Wanda nods in his direction. “Go!”

You nod in thanks and run towards Bucky, watching the fight between him and the Black Panther, waiting for a moment to strike that won’t harm Bucky. You see an opening when Bucky is tossed into a pallet of crates, and the Black Panther descends on him, claws out. You stop his hand with your magic, before twisting your hands around and sending him flying into a nearby jet bridge. Bucky runs towards you and you search the tarmac for Steve, and Bucky nods towards a nearby aircraft, where Steve is currently catching his breath.

You and Bucky make a beeline for him, and he looks up as you both approach. Bucky breaks the silence, “We gotta go. That guy’s probably in Siberia by now.”

Steve’s eyes scan the sky above. “We gotta draw out the flyers. I’ll take Vision, you two get to the jet.”

You shake your head. “No,  _ I’ll _ take Vision and you two get to the jet. I have much better odds against him.”

Bucky and Steve are both shaking their heads, when Sam affirms, “She’s right. The rest of us aren’t getting out of here.”

“As much as I hate to admit it, if we’re gonna win this one, some of us might have to lose it.”   
  
“This isn’t the real fight, Steve.” You can see the legitimacy of Sam’s statement wash over Steve before he answers, “Alright, Sam. What’s the play?”   
  
Sam starts thinking out loud, “We need a diversion. Something big.”   
  
“I got something kinda big,” you glance at Bucky as Scott says it, confusion taking hold of you. “But I can’t hold it very long. On my signal, run like hell. And if I tear myself in half, don’t come back for me.”   
  
Bucky asks, “He’s gonna tear himself in half?” 

You shrug in response and hear Steve question, “You sure about this Scott?”    
  
“I do it all the time. I mean once. In a lab, then I passed out.”   
  
There is a stretch of silence as you, Steve, and Bucky watch the fighting unfold, waiting for Scott’s signal. Your jaw drops seconds later when you see him grow taller than the aircraft around him, reaching out to grab Rhodey. “I guess that’s the signal.”

Bucky and Steve exchange a look before turning to you, and you yell at them both. “Go! I’ll be behind you, watching your back.”

You can sense their hesitation and you level a glare in their direction, causing them to both take off running ahead of you. You keep a distance between you and the boys, turning around to make sure no one is following you to the hangar. They are halfway to the Quinjet when a blast from the mind stone sends you flying through the air until you land on the concrete with a hard thud. You groan and roll over, watching in horror as Vision destroys the watch tower beside the hangar, the debris falling towards Bucky and Steve, blocking their way. You ignore the pain in your body and push your energy towards them, holding the debris up so they can run beneath it. You see them both turn and motion for you to join them, but you shake your head and scream, “Go!”

You watch as they close the distance to the hangar, and as they reach the wall of debris, a deafening sound surrounds you, causing you to clutch your head and cry out in pain. You drop to your knees before the sound finally stops, and you stare at the hangar, waiting to see if they made it inside. Wanda is at your side in a second, and she collapses beside you, exhausted. Vision joins you both a moment later, and you nearly cry in relief when you see the Quinjet leave from the hangar, before soaring into the sky. 

-

_ June 25th, 2016 _

The blindfold is pulled from over your eyes, and you squint against the dim light of the room. As your eyes adjust to the lack of darkness, you glance around, eyes raking over your teammates. Wanda is beside you, with Sam to your left, then Clint, then Scott. You are all handcuffed and standing side by side in a large stone room. 

You hear a door swing open and closed again somewhere behind you, before a tall man comes to stand in front of you. “For those of you who don’t know me, I am Secretary Ross.”

Clint’s anger rolls of him in waves and he grounds out, “Where are we?”

“You are in a covert, underground, highly protected prison called the Raft.”

You feel Sam balk beside you. “Highly protected? It’s not that serious.”

Ross glares at Sam and shoots back, “I assure you, it is highly serious. As a matter of fact…”

You hear the door swing open again and the collective thud of boots entering the room. A large group of soldiers comes to stand beside Ross, hands folded behind their backs. Ross nods, “You know what to do.”

The soldier split into two groups, instantly making a beeline towards you and Wanda. You both press closer together, as Sam and Clint cry out beside you. “What’re you guys doing? Leave them alone!”

“They’re not gonna do anything, man!”

The soldiers descend on you and grab you both, pulling you apart from each other to opposite side of the room. You have a soldier on each of your arms, holding you in place as a third walks towards you, a collar in his hand. You start screaming as soon as you see it. “NO! Please! I won’t do anything, I swear! I don’t need the collar, I won’t be any trouble!”

The soldier closes the space between you, and you feel your panic intensify. You start kicking and screaming in the soldiers grasp, ignoring Sam and Clint’s voices nearby. “Think of Rogers and Barnes!”

“They’re not going to hurt you, but you have to stop fighting!”

You swear you hear the hum of electricity and your emotions reach a dangerous peak, and red hot energy swirls around you like dangerous storm clouds. The soldiers holding you freeze before loosening their grips, and you fling each of them to opposite sides of the room. A larger group of soldier enters the room, and you drown out your team’s warning as you scream and cry, everyone avoiding you and your charged magic. 

You feel the prick of a needle in your chest, and you look down in confusion to find a dart protruding through your clothes. You glance up and lock eyes with Ross, who lowers a tranquilizer gun to his side with a smile. The darkness takes you seconds later. 

-

_ July 2nd, 2016 _

Time passes differently in the Raft. 

It’s slower. 

Agonizingly slow.

And for the first time in over 70 years, you are left with time to do nothing, but think.

You picture every person you killed, before Hydra and after. Every person you tortured, injured, or manipulated. You remember everything you did as the Red Hunter. Every bullet fired from your gun at another person. Every fist you ever raised as a threat to another. 

The slow passage of time tortures you worse than anything that Hydra did, because it reminds you. 

Reminds you that you were a monster  _ before _ Hydra.

All Hydra did was pull the darkest parts of you to the surface. And that thought makes you sick.

You take your punishment from the Raft as a gift. Every shock to the collar, deprivation of food, every second of torture, you welcome it. Because it’s what you deserve.

-

_ July 3rd, 2016 _

The lights in the Raft go dark, and your eyes slowly adjust to the shadows of your surrounding. Your gaze flicks to every movement within the room, trying to make sense of the darkness around you. The emergency lights flicker on after a minute, casting over the room dimly, leaving some corners still clothed in darkness. You hear the creak of the floor in front of the glass window of your cell, and your eyes adjust to the figure emerging from the darkness, and into the glow of one of the lights. 

Steve.

You see movement behind him, the rest of the team outside, waiting for you. He presses the pincode into the keypad outside your door, steeping inside as it swings open. You slide away from him as he enters the room, and his face falls. He crouches down in front of you, careful to keep the distance, and whispers, “I’m not going to hurt you.”

You say nothing, only offering him a blank stare. “Sam said you haven’t spoken since waking up in your cell a few weeks ago.”

His eyes drop to the collar on your neck. “It’s off. You don’t have to worry about it anymore.”

Your eyes flick up to meet his and your voice cracks from unuse. “I deserve to be here. Take the others and leave me behind.”

“No.” He settles down in front of you. “Either we leave this together, or we stay together. But the guards won’t stay under for long.”

“Where’s Bucky?”

Steve smiles. “In Wakanda, waiting for you. There’s a surprise there.”

“And it’s safe?”

“Yes,” Steve nods, offering you a small smile. “You’ll be safe there.”

“No. I mean-” You shake your head, trying to clear your thoughts. “Safe from me.”

You see the heartbreak pass over Steve’s face as he whispers, “You don’t have to worry.”

You nod once and shift closer to him. And he slowly closes the space between you, giving you a chance to pull away. His fingers softly graze the skin of your neck before finding the lock on the collar and detaching it, tossing it to the side. He moves behind you and releases the restrains of the straightjacket, releasing your arms, cramps zipping up and down your arms from the unfamiliar movements. Steve moves back in front of you and holds out his hand, “Let’s go home.”

-

_ July 4th, 2016 _

You sit beside Bucky on the exam table in the Wakandan medical center. Doctors and nurses flitting around you, checking your vitals, running last minute tests, and preparing the procedure. You fingers are intertwined with his, and you grip them tightly, anxiety ruunning through you. You whisper your doubts, “What if it doesn’t work?”

“It will.”

“What if it makes us worse?”

“It won’t.”

“What if it hurts?”

Bucky turns to you and gives you a soft smile, “It won’t.”

He lifts your joined hands and presses a kiss to your knuckles. “Now stop worrying.”

You hear a familiar footfall enter the room, and Steve rounds the corner a second later. He glances between you. “You sure about this?”

“I can’t trust my own mind. So, until they figure out how to get this stuff out of my head, I think going back under is the best thing. For everybody.”

Bucky smiles up at Steve and you can see it melt some of the anxiety from his features. He turns to you. “I don’t want Hydra to have control over me anymore.”

Steve nods, and one of the doctors approaches you and Bucky, a smile on his face. “Ready?”

Bucky nods and slides off the table before helping you down, and you all follow the doctor to the first of the two chambers. You push Bucky towards it, and he turns to you with a laugh. “You want me to go first?”

You nod, and he leans down to press a kiss to your cheek before pressing one to Steve’s. He gives your hand one last squeeze before stepping inside the chamber. He glances at you both before the chamber is activated, leaving him with a relaxed smile on his face. The doctor moves over to the second chamber and Steve walks you to it, offering you his hand to help you step inside. He starts to step back when you grab his hand tighter and pull him closer. “What if I’m still a monster, even without the words?”

“Hey,” Steve’s voice is soft, reassuring. “You are not what Hydra made you. You are not what the war made you. And you are not a monster.”

You nod, and you ask, “Will you be here when I wake up?”

Steve presses a kiss to your cheek and releases your hand before stepping back, giving the doctor room. He gives you a bright smile. “I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

_ Fin. _


End file.
